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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

My 4 year olds behaviour

3 replies

Emmzie2130 · 07/02/2026 11:38

My son turned 4 years old in October and I've thought since he was around 18 months old that he has autism but a paediatrician told me in June 2025 that she couldn't see it. Nursery and health visitors say the same thing and even blame my anxiety but I still see it.
Things he does that make me feel this way.
• he asks questions as a way of communicating so he won't really have a back and forth conversation it is mostly asking and answering questions.
• he sings the same song lyrics over and over most of the day while playing/getting dressed/eating/walking outside.
• eating issues he will take a bite and then start singing and moving around his chair sometimes falling off because he's moving around so much or wandering off and you can to remind him to eat or he would just not eat he's even losing weight because he's so bad
• sensory issues with dirty things on his hands so will refuse to pic up cake if this icing is drippy/saucy pizza etc painting/gardening/glue etc anything that could get on his fingers and if it does he moans to get it off same for sauce going on his cheeks he shouts and me to clean him and he starts freaking out.
• he sticks his tongue out and has his mouth wide open if he's feeling awkward so if a stranger speaks to him that's what he normally does.
• if you're up close to him he won't look you in the eye.
• he's obsessed with vehicles most of his questions are about them and it's all he wants to play with or watch on TV.
• cries hysterically when he's cold out the shower or pool and it's very difficult to get him dried because he's freaking out.

I've listened to his classmates having conversations and my friends all have children too around his age and they seem to have normal conversations about things and topics and my sons main way of speaking is questions. I've told all of this to the health visitor and she saw him for 5 mins (while he wasn't talking) and said she can't see it..

Am I being silly? Is it in my head?

OP posts:
anonymoususer9876 · 07/02/2026 11:58

What are his interactions with other children like? As you mention classmates I’m assuming he’s in school - have they voiced any concerns?

Emmzie2130 · 07/02/2026 12:16

anonymoususer9876 · 07/02/2026 11:58

What are his interactions with other children like? As you mention classmates I’m assuming he’s in school - have they voiced any concerns?

He has 2 friends and he's at nursery. The teachers say they just think he's shy as he doesn't talk much there. He acts goofy with his friends rather than conversations he will answer there questions and he just copies there actions

OP posts:
anonymoususer9876 · 07/02/2026 13:25

Might be worth reposting this on the SEN boards.

have you looked at https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism

It’s worth reflecting on what an autism diagnosis would mean to you as his parent. If you think he is autistic you can use the strategies suggested on the Autistic Society’s website. Any educational setting should be making reasonable adjustments to meet a child’s needs (rather than only putting them in place once a diagnosis is made).

What is autism

A definition of autism with an overview of communication, behaviours and interests, and sensory processing differences needed for an autism diagnosis.

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism

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