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Parenting

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Should I let DD's BF stay the night?

8 replies

BiscoffCheesecakes · 06/02/2026 17:52

Dd (nearly 17) has been dating a lovely boy, a few months younger than her, for 18 months. He used to live a mile or so away from us but moved around 30 miles away last summer. His mum is extremely strict, he's never allowed out socially, and therefore they hardly ever get to see each other. When they do, it's when she's away with work, he'll get the train over, I'll collect him, they'll spend the day together then I'll drop him back early evening. This has however only happened twice since they moved. It was easier when he wasn't so far away as he could pop over for an hour or so after college.

Anyway dd has asked if he can stay the night sometime so they'll have more time together. It will be strictly separate bedrooms & if I found them in the same bedroom it would be the last time. But I feel a bit uneasy going against what his mum says, even though I kind of already have by allowing him here in the first place. Dd is just very upset as she rarely sees him. Any advice please?

OP posts:
Walkerzoo · 06/02/2026 17:55

Of course I would let him stay.
Would make sure DD is protected and knows about safe sex.

Be the parent who is supporting and safe rather than strict and excluded

Sally2791 · 06/02/2026 17:55

They’ll be having legitimate sex anyway, his mum is wasting her time. So yes fine for him to stay over, rather than them using dodgy places

Coffeeishot · 06/02/2026 17:56

If his mum is strict will she not look for him or will he say he is staying with "a friend" you probably need to clear it up before you decide

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ImogenBrocklehurst · 06/02/2026 17:59

I’d be concerned about why this boy was being controlled by his mother to the point that he’s not allowed out.

Motnight · 06/02/2026 18:01

Walkerzoo · 06/02/2026 17:55

Of course I would let him stay.
Would make sure DD is protected and knows about safe sex.

Be the parent who is supporting and safe rather than strict and excluded

Absolutely this.

Love to know what legitimate sex is though 😬

BiscoffCheesecakes · 06/02/2026 18:06

Coffeeishot · 06/02/2026 17:56

If his mum is strict will she not look for him or will he say he is staying with "a friend" you probably need to clear it up before you decide

She'll be away with work & they will frequently be checking her location!

OP posts:
BiscoffCheesecakes · 06/02/2026 18:08

ImogenBrocklehurst · 06/02/2026 17:59

I’d be concerned about why this boy was being controlled by his mother to the point that he’s not allowed out.

I think it's their culture from what I understand. But yes I do feel she is far too controlling. She has met my dd & really likes her

OP posts:
Girliefriendlikespuppies · 06/02/2026 18:10

I had a similar situation and let DDs boyfriend sleep over, I was aware they were having sex anyway so there didn’t seem much point stopping him tbh.

I made sure dd was on contraception and was happy.

I also told them I didn’t want to hear anything!!!

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