Why do some mums feel the need to bring other mums down?

[SendHelpandSnacks]

This is a bit of a rant, but I'd be interested to know people's opinions...
I was in town this morning and my son was having a full tantrum, laying on the wet floor in the centre of town (he's 2 next month) I was leaving him for a couple of minutes to see if he'd give up, as he's obviously not gaining anything from it.
This older woman came up to me and said "from a mum to adult children and grandchildren, these are the easiest years, it only gets harder from here"
Now to me, this is really triggering, as I've struggled with anxiety and depression since my son's been born, feeling like I'm not cut out for all of this. So to be told that these are the EASIEST years.... That just sends me into a panic. She also said "you must enjoy this time as it goes by so quickly" ... Like wow... Thanks for that. My toddler is currently screaming on the floor. That's exactly what I needed to hear.
And I know people love to say "oh you wait... " "You wait til the teenage years"
But seriously?! Why do people enjoy doing that to fellow mums?
I know teenagers are another story, but surely if you bring your child up with enough love, compassion and support, you can hope that they'll grow into smart, well rounded people. There's nothing well rounded about toddlers!! It was my 30th birthday this week and on my BD my toddler was having full tantrums and deliberately trying to pull my hair! Then people asked how I feel turning 30 and I just didn't know how to respond, I feel emotionally and physically exhausted 🤣 so when people say it only gets harder... I just feel at a loss..
I'm not sure what I'm trying to achieve from this, I guess I just wanted to rant about this lady as it baffled me so much.
But if anyone has anything more positive to say, I'd love to hear it 😂
Many thanks x

Let’s ride that wave SendHelp , ride that screamy ole wave! 😅 Of course lovely and here’s sending you a (sorry, slightly rubbish) virtual version! ☕️ 🍰 🤗 🩷

I hope things were ok once you got away with your little one? My suspicions were confirmed when I got mine home, they immediately crashed in their bed and slept for nearly 2 hours which never happens(!), clearly were exhausted and had ‘gone beyond’ 🫣

Thankfully today was mercifully bouncy and happy (meanwhile mummy sprouts a new grey hair!) and I hope your tomorrow is good too 💕

I don’t think this works for all tantrums, probably wouldn’t be great in a full atomic rage situation like your today and my yesterday was, but perhaps in a moderate crying/ flip out that apparently getting them to drink can help de-escalate, as they can’t drink and cry at the same time (haven’t tested the theory yet). Would only have ended as a projectile yesterday though lol, so I guess maybe timing. x

I assume this is meant in the sense that someone who is told something like “these are the best years!” could come away from it thinking “oh god maybe it isn’t that bad, am I just struggling more than everyone else??” When in reality toddlers and tantrums are awful for anyone who has ears and a nervous system

I don’t understand at all the people saying she was being supportive and expressing solidarity. How?!!

She wasn’t trying to bring you down, she was trying to relate. Also, parenting is quite shit so maybe you did need a bit of a reality check in case you were contemplating a second!

THANK YOU @Coffeeandtv83 I'm baffled how people think this is someone being supportive and helpful! It's condescending and actually rude. I would never dream of going up to someone and saying something like that, but maybe I'm just too polite

Exactly! Actually say something funny and light hearted to cheer the mood, not "your life is over" 🤣🤣

In this situation I think she meant it kindly, my DS was a handful, yet I only remember the cuteness now, not the tantrums but the big hugs extreme love.
It isn’t nice feeling overwhelmed, try to find a balance as children are sponges and feed off anxiety and sensitivity just like positivity and confidence. It is important to fill them with positivity, fake it until you make it.

It can be so much worse when they are older. I’m not saying it’s hard when they are young but when you are in bed sick with anxiety every night due to your worries about their mental health you’ll look back with memories of how lovely it used to be