Relocate for family or stay for outstanding school

[Confusedmama89]

We recently moved to a rural village for a bigger house but primarily the local school for its outstanding rating and excellent results. However I’m finding it increasingly difficult with husband working away a lot and two kids under 3 that wondering whether relocating back to my home town would be a good idea.

We miss the ease of footpaths for walks and cycling, easy access to a supermarket and takeaways. My hometown would give us all of this. However when comparing schools nothing comes close to our current village school. There are good schools within walking distance but they are larger or there are schools in villages that are a 20 minute drive from my parents house. We are currently a 45 minute drive. Moving will obviously incur a significant cost and stress but equally staying is having a huge impact too.

Not to sound dramatic but the decision really is taking a toll on my mental health. Please help a confused mama.

Also to note the villages closer to parents have more amenities - they are larger and less rural

If it still has good schools, I don't see any issue with moving. Being larger can mean more resources and things like a dedicated wellbeing manager / senco.

2 kids under 3 is hard wherever you live I think! Were you 100% behind moving rurally or was it more your DH?
Regardless, being a lot more miserable for a slightly better primary school doesn’t seem like a good idea IMO but before you take any sort of decision ensure you know all there is about the secondary provision in the areas you are considering - I’d base future moves on being as close as possible to the best secondary school possible

I think I would move given the circumstances. The school could change and no longer be outstanding when you kids are school age.

Something to consider is that village schools can change quite quickly. I live in a village that had an OFSTED Outstanding rating, one 30 form intake each year so 210 pupils, always oversubscribed when my children started in mid 2000s. Over the last 5 years it dropped to mixed year groups, a Satisfactory rating and around 110 children. This is not unusual for village primary schools in my area - I’m in the south east commuter belt about 30 miles from London so not an underpopulated part of the country!

I have a slightly different approach that I sometimes adopt when in a quandary. I put aside the idea of making the right decision. I make a decision and make it work.

Agree with a poster that schools can change very quickly. My DC are at an outstanding school, lots of very positive things but it's turning into an academy soon and the rumour is that the Head is leaving.

I'd look at what works best for your life style. Personally I like being able to walk to a pub, a cafe, shops, the gym, kids activities and friends nearby. My OH works away every other week and I've been saved many times by Tesco Whoosh!

I'd move to a bigger place. Small village living is awful unless you love it. If you don't love it, I don't think you ever will. It's one of hose things you either like or you don't.

Also, think about when you're kids are older, stuck in the arse end of nowhere, needing to be driven anywhere they need to go.

I wanted to move here originally and DH says he never did. He is slightly resistance to move to an area where the school is rated less highly than where we currently live but he too misses the amenities. Thanks for the advice 🙏

Thanks for all your replies. They’ve been very useful 🙏

I would stay for now. Schools can change, but 45 minutes to see family is not far. It’s that far of a drive to our nearest big town. It may seem far with a baby and a toddler, but it won’t be when they’re older. No way would I want to be driving 20 minutes to a decent school twice a day. That ends up being 2 hours out of your day once you factor in parking and waiting around.

Also hate to say it, but family support quite often dries up. Grandparents die sadly, or more often, lose interest. My eldest is a teenager and I can count on my two hands the number of times a grandparent has been around to help with them.