When did you let your kids have play dates without you?

[Nosleepforthismum]

DS (who turned 4 in September) has been invited to an event on Saturday with his friend from preschool and I just don’t feel ready for this yet. I know the parents and we get on well since meeting in September but I just feel very anxious at the thought of letting him go on his own. I’m worrying about the car journey, him getting upset or hurting himself, needing help with the toilet etc. He’s a bit speech delayed which doesn’t help and I’m not sure he’d be confident to tell the parents what he needed.

I know this is all to come once he gets to school but I just wasn’t expecting it right now and I feel very guilty that I’m limiting his experiences (I’ve said no to the event)

Just wondering what is the usual age for this stuff?

Just ask to got too. Be honest- he's my baby and i'm not comfortable letting him go on his own! (Most mums are fine with this.)

At that age I think is fine to go too. Once they're at school, it's ok in reception but not really after that!

Once they’ve started school is fine. It’s really good for building confidence for children to ask others for help/work things out for themselves. Having a sense of community and taking responsibility for each other’s children reduces isolation and anxiety for all. Chat through key things with your child in advance and ensure other parents have your phone number, but if your child is keen to branch out, try and relax and trust them. Good luck.

My DDs first play date was when she was in reception and i went with her. It felt a bit odd and awkward (the other parent was a single dad who i hadn't really spoken to much ) but we just had a coffee and a chat at their house and that was that - the girls played nicely, play date achieved.

Generally speaking while they're v young (3, 4, 5, 6 even) it's handy if you can orchestrate a friendship with a kid who's mum or dad is friendly and approachable at pick up so you can be there at each others houses for the first few play dates. Most parents are on the lookout for friendly other parents they can start their kids school friendship journeys off with.

In your position OP don't hesitate to say you'd prefer it if you can come along. It's perfectly reasonable.

DD went to her first play date alone at the end of Reception. DS is year 2 and never had one alone. In his year the parents seem to stay and socialise, which we like.

I am still not very keen on them going in other people's cars. DS hasn't been in a friend's car yet. DD10 has, but not frequently.

7 years old

Four is too young

Depends on the child and it depends who with. My children were on the anxious side but went to play dates without me from about 4 but only with trusted long term friends who lived very locally so they could come home if needed.

I didn't hang around once they were at primary school personally - they didn't need me to and I felt it's healthy for them to have time with friends themselves.

If I felt comfortable with the parents from about 3