Help please!

[Mommafnaf]

Hiya. I’m really struggling here. I didn’t think I’d have to deal with this so soon 😬. I found some words on my daughter’s iPad that were inappropriate and very sexual. It was on a chat gpt type app.

I don’t know how to approach the subject with her dad (we co parent).

She’s also not very forthcoming when I try to talk to her so I’m struggling to understand it all as is she. Any advice. She’s 10. Tia x

Had she written the words or had the AI responded to them because she asked about them? What words were they?

I would start by telling her she isn't in any trouble at all but that you saw some quite grown up words and its really important that she tells you if she wrote them. Then try to ascertain why? Was she curious? Where did she hear them?

Depending on what the words were they could be a huge red flag. Could she have been exposed to porn? Or could one of her friends who has then shared the words with her?

Many girls this age are curious. I can remember sneakily reading Judy Blume books including Forever when I was at primary school and if the Internet had been around then I wouldn't 100% been goggling things.

It depends on the words I suppose.
Has she had a lesson on sex ed and is exploring (I remember hearing the word stiffy in year 5 and having absolutely no idea what it meant, I’m glad I didn’t have internet access then).
Has she been exposed to porn?
Has she accidentally watched or read something and has looked up what it means?

My childhood friend said her Mum took her on a dog walk once to talk about the birds and the bees so she could comfortably ask any question she liked without giving eye contact to her Mum. Is that an option? x

It’s good that you’ve found out and need to be available for her to chat and ask questions.

If she had searched for these words in school ( it happens) you’d have no doubt been called in.
Schools usually have software that alerts the Head or safeguarding lead if certain words are searched and indicates which iPad was being used.

There could be children in her class who have accessed porn at home (or been subjected to it) who have been using the words you found.

If you don’t think she’s accessed anything at home I would seriously consider speaking to someone at school.
You really need to speak to her Dad as she could have seen or heard something she shouldn’t have had access to whilst at his house.

As others have said, it depends on the actual words.
my Dd is 10 and has been getting sex education in school (Scotland). We were sent the curriculum in advance and I was surprised by the detail/terminology used. Definitely moved on since I got sex education at school

I've been doing this. Staying cool, calm, collected. I’m also very open minded and just want to understand. I remember having feelings and yes read Forever too. She’s not very forthcoming. She may have discovered the words online but it was a conversation with an ai so I do think she has feelings and I’ve reassured her that she’ll never get in trouble for her feelings xx

What is the context? It’s certainly around this time in Y5 when they are having sex and relationship education at school. I work in sexual health myself, but honestly I was a bit horrified about what my dc came home asking questions about. I didn’t realise that the content would be quite what it was, a good bit about masturbation and oral sex. It was quite confusing for them and we had to have some unexpected conversations. If she didn’t feel like she could come to you, yes, I could see asking online.

That said, I’d not be at all comfortable with a 10 year old having such unrestricted access to the internet that she’s accessing AI chatbots. You need to sort that.