Hi , long post so please bare with me. My DD year 5 is going through hard time at school and for some reason I really struggle to cope with it mentally.
She had one best friend since Reception and generally they would play together all the time - sometimes with other kids/groups joining in. Her best friend occasionally would stop playing with her and pay attention to another kid but never for longer than week or two. My DD would be sad but always found someone else to play with and eventually everything would go back to normal. Unfortunately this changed at the end of last year when her best friend just swapped to another girl (Easter time till the end of the year which is pretty long time). My DD was devastated - it was very sudden, no fall out , just one day she was not a number one choice. I think there is a level of my DD just focusing on one person which can be pretty intense. But on other hand she is very loyal so this felt like real betrayal and she did not understand what she did wrong to loose the friendship.In September her best friend again showered her with attention, always first choice , all back to normal. Until mid December when literally one day everything changed and her bestie swapped again to the other girl and now ignores my DD. My DD is totally confused, sad, angry and trying to cope with it but I can see it really affects her mentally because she does not understand what ,if anything, she done wrong and why her bestie just ditched her. Its got to the point when her not so long time ago best friend is on purpose not choosing her in the team , or PE etc - so not bullying behaviour but lots of subtle exclusion. DD found other kids to play with but more or less everyone has best friends already so she will struggle to form one. What I really hate is that I am really affected emotionally about this situation. Generally I am mentally strong but this is affecting my mood, have panic attacks and generally feeling extremely low and anxious. And I cannot put finger why so I cannot help myself, and what is more important my DD. I try to pretend and be strong for her but when she is gone I collapse with anxiety about this. So my question is - how can I help her to navigate this?ignore the girl, have one to one talk , leave it be ? - how can I help myself, I cannot live my life like this , I need to somehow let it go - any coping mechanisms? - if any of you lovely ladies have some feel good story about your DD struggles with friends and then eventually finding one in high school etc I would be eternally grateful 🥲