Im hitting a really exhausted wall. Im only just realising
I feel like having my eldest (just turned 4) I was in love with being a mother doing things etc
My youngest is 2. I have suffered mentally , very clingy baby and still clingy now. Only since ds turned 3.5 did I get more 1 to 1 time with him and the guilt ive had is horrendous
Youngest would cry if she was with anyone but me. Which has been so relentless. My eldest form a young age bonded with grandparents and his aunty and uncle (not really DH side but we dont see them often) and would sit and play witb them give them smiles etc and now still very bonded which means id go to my mums be able to have a cuppa, even hed have sleepovers now and then so I could get some sleep etc
Anyway im rambling. I am very burnt out I do most childcare solo as DH works away. Gets back Friday evening leave sunday after bed time. Feels like we barely see him
I do work 3 days and kids have to go to nursery then
But I just feel like im exhausted and sometimes im impatient aka I dont have the most understanding and patience for theirnbehavioir , I dont shout i have a stern voice but sometimes I see myself just seeming blank while they both fight eachorher over something or refuse shoes on etc (for example) and then I snap into it snd stop the bickering etc etc
Im trying to be more of a person if that makes sense feel like ive lost myself for 2 years just been mum
Haven't done hobbies. Distanced myself from friends and family friends. I literally spend time with my kids and work and go out as a family
Ordering some books and a beginners Cross stitch kit to try and get some hobbies rhat are achievable?
But how do I be in dont know more take a breath dont get annoyed by mess everywhere etc
I just feel a bit stuck in a rut