Chilled baby

[Boymama87]

So I have DS5 and DS3. DS5 was a very highly strung baby, very fussy, wouldn’t be put down, barely slept etc etc, was a handful as a toddler but is mellowing as he gets older. Is quite typically boisterous and high energy. DS3 was no where near as ‘difficult’ as a baby, but never made me think he was ‘too chilled’. However they are 22m apart so a lot of his baby phase was in tandem with me managing his brother solo most of the time.
I now have DD who is 12 weeks. She’s soooo chilled. To the point where I’m now anxious she’s too chilled and this will mean something comes up in the future such as ND etc. I have often read of people saying that their autistic children were super chilled as babys and then hit toddlerhood and suddenly changed.

Things she does that surprise me: today she fell asleep in a non moving pram when I didn’t think she’d be tired, she often will happily be awake in the pram for school runs (my boys hated the pram), she will chill out in her bouncy chair and watch the world go by for definite periods of time before wanting to be picked up, if she’s tired, it really doesn’t take much from me eg bouncing to get her to sleep, she just goes to sleep. She’s not sleeping through the night (usually does a 4/5 hour stretch at the beginning and then lots of wakes after that) but she does sleep better than my boys did.

In other people’s experience does she just sound like a chilled baby or does she sound too chilled? I know from my friends babies that my boys were quite highly strung but I don’t know whether my anxiety is justified or if I’m just looking for a problem that isn’t there.

My daughter was a very chilled baby. Not at all a chilled toddler though haha she’s so young. Just enjoy it.

I had a pretty chilled baby although he certainly had his moments at various points but overall, a good sleeper, happy baby etc. He’s still incredibly chilled now he’s 6, never really changed his temperament. He’s quite sensitive and still doesn’t like loud noises/scary things on TV but he’s just quite low energy overall!

My second was a chilled baby and now he’s a tween I see that’s just his personality. He’s got zero symptoms of ND and is a high achiever at school and in sport so he’s not unmotivated.
Additionally your assurance in handling a baby will be relaxing her.

Congratulations on your little one!

I actually posted something similar to this a few months ago about my third baby. Maybe it’s a third child thing?! Neither of my older children were particularly “difficult”, but he is just something else. The most placid, jolly baby I’ve ever encountered. Smiles all day, only cries if he hurts himself (now that he’s mobile). Other people comment on it all the time.

He’s only 11 months old now but meeting all developmental milestones as expected thus far. I’m fully expecting him to be a horrible toddler or teenager, whilst hoping that this is just his personality!

Congratulations. Chilled babies are a real treat. I also worried about the amount of sleep my little one had, he was hardly awake in the first few weeks, slept through the night at three weeks old and hardly ever cried. I mentioned it to the health visitor at one point as I was sure it wasn’t normal.
He never changed and now a strapping 6ft 2 adult loves his sleep and is still very chilled. Make the most of her, we’re all different.

My mother thought that I was a godsend after DC no.1. They never slept, were fussy eaters, and were unreasonable for refusing to drink out of a yellow sippy cup one week, but it was fine the next. Apparently, I slept for the first six months, woke up talking, and haven't stopped since then! She said that I was a much easier baby in comparison.

It’s just her personality. I had one quite high needs baby and one super chilled one.

The high needs one is now an intense very chatty needs constant entertainment 13 year old. The super chilled one is a quiet introspective 8 year old who enjoys quietly building Lego and tinkering and digging mud holes thoroughly entertained by his own company for hours. They are just quite different children. Both NT, developmentally on target, do great in school, sociable. Just different beasts.

Both of my girls are chill. My boys range. My 1st son spend ungodly hours screaming and you could never pit him down hes 8 now and so chill. 2nd born was fine to chill as long as he could hear you. Guess who the talker is? My 3rd son was like my 1st but without crying. Its my 3rd one that is now non verbal on Austin pathway.

I dont really think you can tell

My no 3 was a chilled baby, after two fire crackers of kids!
I think she had built in entertainment watching them, but also she was just a happy, calm, sleepy baby. Walked quite late, didn't talk til 2 then spoke in sentences!
She grew into a calm, (and wonderfully competent) adult , who loved her sleep.
Now she has two non sleeping firecracker kids, and hasn't slept in 4 years😄

My daughter ( my eldest ) was like your daughter, very chilled, very easy, fed every 4/5 hours, ..... later grown up to be diagnosed with autism and adhd.

My DS ( second ) was similar to your 5 year old, still is now. He's got adhd 😅

Neither of mine are globally delayed, my daughter is really intelligent

I honestly wouldn't worry too much, just enjoy her x

I have two chilled children. Both my son and daughter slept 12 hours straight without waking from just 12 weeks! They rarely cried (unless they were hungry or sick) and even then, I could usually comfort them in about two minutes. I never understood how parents stayed sane with babies crying for hours; even two minutes was hard for me.

My daughter is 4 now and still very chilled: active but super easygoing. My son is 19 months; he isn’t as chilled anymore. He’s still an amazing sleeper but fights naps like crazy and gets frustrated easily. Being a second child might play a role too.

I understand you’re worried about autism. As an experienced SEND teacher, I’d look for signs like eye contact, whether they like to be held and comforted, and similar behaviors. The fact that your children are chilled doesn’t suggest anything unusual. It is likely just means you’re one of the lucky ones!

The further down the birth order you get, the more chilled the baby is (often, not always). Because you're chilled this time round, no first time mum angst. Plus she has to fit in with what's already established, she can't afford to be too fussy. If you have a fourth it will practically raise itself.

Thanks everyone for your replies! I feel a lot better and sounds like I just need to enjoy her more chilled temperament! It’s just come as a surprise after my two sons! I’m sure she will challenge me at some point but for now….ill just enjoy it!

My autistic child was more like your oldests than your younger children.

My second child was like that. Sat in the bouncer happily watching us and giggling. Never fussy and only cried if hurt himself or during night, almost never during the day. Would just randomly fall asleep with no bouncing, walking etc. Never upset in the buggy. My first child was a big crier!! He has his moments of course, but now at 10 he is still really easy going and a happy chappy the vast majority of the time ♥️

My first baby was a challenging one. Baby two was pretty normal and baby 3 has been insanely chilled. Smiley and happy. Easy sleeper (will fall asleep in a non moving buggy) easy to wean. It’s a third baby thing or it’s just their personality. Enjoy it!!