folks with 3 year olds

[yawningmonster]

can you please give me a run down of a typical day...especially a weekend day when you are on your own with child (not solo mum but dh not here every second weekend and only sees ds approx 30minutes on weekdays, so mostly on my own with him)

hi ym my dp isnt hear alot either at weekends or in wee so always on my own really

we get up do breakfast

may take a walk into town

have lunch

play play doh or he does painting

i clean house or attempt to

he may play computer games bob the builder or v tech

try to get him to do something else he has HFA and can be pretty adament

may go into garden but its shared garden and other take it over and leaves nothing for us to do

do dinner go to bed

our days can be filled with things and some days we just do whatever with no structure

he seems to be happy running around or dancing to music we dont always go out but try to stay entertained indoors

maybe we may go for walk to see the trains if he wants to

Thanks bubblagirl for answering. I am finding (yet again) 12 hours just daunting to manage. DS does not let up from opening his eyes to closing them and I am completely worn out, even in park or at friends he needs me to be constantly there doing things with him or more likely for him, he isn't allowed tv as his behaviour gets unbearable and not interested in computer. Does your ds manage on his own for a bit while you clean house, make meals? or does he badger you to return to him and refuse all attempts to be involved in chores that need doing,

My dh is only around 2/3 days every other week. So I know all about being alone with the kids too.
I think I am lucky with my 3 year old as he entertains himself alot. It helps that he has a 15 month old brother around and they play a bit. He likes cbeebies and he loves to (pretend) mow the grass, spends loads of time doing that!
He loves helping me with the garden watering etc and he loves to help me do the shopping, heaping chocolate into the trolley etc.
Honestly I mostly ignore him

Though yesterday I nipped to the loo and next thing he was screaming because he had got a chair, climbed up to reach my sharp knife and cut his hand badly trying to cut a lemon to 'make lemon juice' Argh...lucky it wasn't worse

My nephews are more full on like the sound of yours and my sister would be run ragged entertaining and occupying her boys.

She does loads of physical stuff with them...tire them out!

I'm a single mum of a 3-year-old and my answer is Cbeebies TBH. Weekdays when he is not at nursery (which is 2 days a week) we usually do a playgroup in the morning, have dinner, then go to a park, then usually a few errands (my avon deliveries or something) then tea, bath and bed.
Weekends he often sees his dad part of the time.
He likes to help with sorting the washing and stuff, and he is mad on building stations and tracks with his train and his bricks.

yawning monster, the transition from tv to next activity is often hideous isn't it!
When I have to use tv so that I can get on with something, I try to be careful about the timing and try to have something really enticing to do afterwards eg making a cake or eating a cake we have previously made!

DS used to be like watching slideshows of family photos on the PC. I sat with him the first couple of times and we remembered who was who and where we were, what we were doing. Then after that he was happy to sit by himself!

hi thanks yes we have actually found that things have improved generally now there is no tv, and he doesn't actually ask for it now but he absolutely cannot even for a minute, not even while he or I are on the loo, not at all, be alone! I try to set things up and then slowly remove my input but in general he likes things done for him rather than with him so this tactic doesn't work eg he will direct me to make the lego, build with the blocks, build and play with the trains, climb and slide at the playground, run around the house hiding his toys and then run around finding them again while he directs etc. Computer doesn't entice him at all for some reason, have tried games, music, photos you name it not a goer.

I have a DD1 of 3 and DD2 of 20 months. Our day consists of:

1.Breakfast.
2.Then T.V (while Mummy gets dressed)
3.Getting them dressed and washed.
4.Putting DD2 down for her 2 hour nap(bliss!,long may it last!!)

1. Snack time(Cup of tea for Mummy)

6.Getting Paints/Crayons/Glue out for messy play for DD1. 7.Clearing up all the mess together

1. Lunchtime.
2. Go out,usually Parks/Toddler groups/Playgroup/Shopping.

10.Return,and watch T.V (Mummy puts feet up for half an hour!)DS comes in from school. 11.Bedlam Make Dinner Time.DD1 hinders helps me in the kitchen. 12. Dinner time. 13. Bath time. 14. Storytime and Bedtime.(Hoorah!!) 15.Make packed Lunches,force encourage DS to do his Homework. 16.Collapse Sit down with DH for our Dinner.

I wish in some ways the tv was used but we used to get tantrums for up to 2 hours as well as waking in the night crying because it had been turned off. It just wasn't worth the aftermath.

have you investigated playgroups? the ones where you leave him for 2 and a half hours?

What about Playgroup and Toddler groups?

Have you tried to meet up with other mums with an only child of a similar age. Having a friend over to play saved me from my full on dd.

we do meet ups and a playgroup but I stay with him, he would be very very upset if I didn't. If he has friends around or we are at their place, he still wants me to play too and same at playgroup, he would much rather I played actively (he isn't happy for me to be there observing I have to be actively involved in the play)

just feel like I am saying to him all day "ds I will just make us something to eat, then I will blah, blah, blah"(and no he doesn't want to help, have tried that) and "why don't you show me what you can do ds" which he won't and "I don't think that will hold my weight ds, I could do xyz but not that" which he argues about or "j really wants to play that game with you ds" to which he will say "you have to play too" arrggghhh I am exhausted

I found this when my DS was an "only" chid,I was his playmate at home.

At playgroup have you tried to leave him? I have seen, and had friends, whose children are very upset to be left,but mostly the child either stops crying as soon as you are not in view,or the playgroup leaders start to interest them in things,to distract them.

My friend's DS was very "clingy" (awful term)and he (and she) was distraught each time she left him at playgroup,she was in a real dilemma as to whether she was doing more harm than good,our "baby group" of 3 yr olds Mums,all agreed she needed to percivere(sp?)so she did and now less than 2 months later he is loving it,and is happy to be left.

IME alot of children don't like to be separated from their mums at this age,but it is a stage they all have to go through,and he will come through it,but I would suggest you do leave him,the Playgroup people would contact you if they thought he was too distressed anyway.

If you want your child to build relationships with other children and adults then you have to give him the opportunities to do it,whilst you are not with him.It is very hard to walk away from your DS when he is upset,but Playgroup is used to this reaction,and will have "strategies" to help you and your DS.

If you start with this,you will find that he will find it easier to play alone or with other children,in other places.It is an important stage he needs to go through,otherwise you'll be saying all this again when he starts school.

thanks sawyer he goes 2 days a week to a cm with 3 other children. he has gone since he was 18mths, he still cries about it and asks every day if he has to go or not. it is not about the cm it is him, he cries if I leave him with dh or dgrandparents or anyone actually, he always has, I am not willing to leave him at the playgroup at the moment as he enjoys it and it will end up turning into a 'are you going to leave today?' not wanting to go etc etc battle

my ds can manage to amuse himself and he will help with house work maybe try and get him involved with you

find something he can only do alone it is waring when they follow you continuously unable to amuse themselves