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11 month old wakes hourly and usually very distressed

18 replies

LetMeOverThinkIt · 26/01/2026 15:27

Sorry for the essay, here's a TL:DR 11 month old wakes up hourly screaming. Tried all the usual suspects and am looking for tips and/or solidarity from others who have gone through this and found it was related to allergies/ENT issues or that they have simply grown out of it to give me some hope!

My son is 11 months (turns 1 year in just over a week!) and we haven't had more than 1 hour chunk of sleep routinely since he was 4 months old. We've had the odd 2 hour here and there, usually when he's had such an appalling night the night before that he just crashes for his morning nap. But the norm is between 40 mins to an hour. He's on a 2 nap day currently. I've tried eeking him out to a 1 nap day but he ends up so tired he has it too early. We ideally aim for him in bed between 7-8 depending on how appalling his day naps have been. He wakes up between 5:30 and 7am. There is no consistency there so we just try to keep the morning nap to around 9/9:30 regardless of when he wakes up.

He's my second so all this sleep disruption is now really taking its toll on the whole household. My oldest is 3 and although he wasn't the best sleeper he did work it out. I've contacted our health visitors chathealth service so many times for help and suggestions they told me there wasn't anything further they could do for me and to get the duty health visitor to call me. Which I did, twice. Both times I was given sympathy but ultimately nothing they could do until he's a year old.

He is breastfed, not too keen on solid food still however he is getting 4 top teeth through at once at the moment so I can understand that bit. He absolutely will not be laid down awake, we've tried many times to put him down gradually more and more awake, he then fought that and started grabbing hold of us as he felt himself being laid down. Blackout blinds, varying nightlights, no noise, white noise, pink noise, the shipping forecast (no really haha), routine tweeks, warmer/cooler clothing and I've even sprayed the curtains with "sleep" spray! Nothing makes any difference.

To survive my husband and I take it in 2 hour shift rotations throughout the night. I feed to sleep for ease but my husband does just as well with cuddles so I don't think it is necessarily hunger/breastfeeding reliance. Occasionally I've bedshared with him but the wake ups are the same, I can just settle him quicker as he's right there rather than down the hall. We are about to attempt moving his cot back into our room and cobbling together some sort of side car cot scenario (the only recommendation by the health visitor we resisted at first as felt like we were going backwards) as a last resort but I'm not optimistic.

He does have a milk allergy, and so is dairy free although we're about to start the milk ladder with him. We are currently waiting for an ENT hospital appointment as in November he suffered with an ear infection and the problems are persisting still.

So what I am after!? Solidarity maybe? Any tips from anyone whose 1 year old was still waking up hourly. To those that have dealt with food allergies and/or ENT problems: Do you have anything I should be asking about whilst I'm with the specialists? I'm so frazzled right now that I'll probably miss something important.

OP posts:
OtterMummy2024 · 26/01/2026 20:04

I'm sure you have tried this but: what happens if you give Calpol or Neurofen an hour before bed?

jenn88 · 26/01/2026 20:39

Hi @LetMeOverThinkIt
firstly sorry your going through this, unless you have been through true chronic sleep deprivation first hand it’s hard to get people to relate!
I have been through similar to yourself, my son is now 21 months and it’s gotten easier….. but not perfect!
He had terrible colic like symptoms every night without fail for the first 9 months of life he would scream like clockwork! I believe he had CMPA but I was fobbed off as no rashes etc! I battled on at the cost of my mental health and nearly my relationship, however that’s another story!!!!
I like you have tired it all, even ashamed to admit I ordered melatonin online!! Every spray/patch/prayer!!!
In the end we got him a double bed and we coslept, he woke a lot but it was quick to settle him and we got as much sleep as we could at that time!
Slowly working from that we now start the night in our own beds and if he wakes this side of 1am DH goes to him, otherwise I will go get into bed with him or he might come to our bed button settles back down and DH will
go to the empty bed!
for info he is still breast fed to sleep and on 1 nap per day! Also has ear issues and repetitive ear infections/perforated eardrum!!

so basically no magic answer but time!

shardlakem · 26/01/2026 20:57

I was in the same situation and did some gentle sleep training, he is 3 now and still wakes a few times in the night but it's brilliant compared to every hour!! Is also really easy to settle because of the traning, only pop in for 30 seconds tops.
Teething has a lot to answer for...

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SleafordSods · 26/01/2026 21:20

If he has a milk allergy, are you both DF OP? Have you tried also cutting out Soya. The protein is similar to those in Cow’s Milk and around half of all people with CMPA also react to Soya.

Does he also have any of these symptoms? TT was to blame for my DC1’s horrendous sleep Flowers

PumpkinSpice24 · 26/01/2026 21:22

couldn’t read and run, but solidarity. I have a 11 month old who has another 4 teeth coming through and is the fussiest I think he’s ever been at the moment. I find his sleep really goes haywire when he has multiple teeth coming through at once so you have my sympathies it is not fun!! ❤️

sharkstale · 26/01/2026 21:36

Could have written the first half of this myself. Almost 12 months old, sleep went from really good to diabolical at 4 months (when he started teething, I think that started it off and his sleep habits never recovered).

Only advice/hope I can give is that I've seen a big improvement recently since I moved him into my bed full time. He was always put in cot for naps, never lasted more than half an hour, twice a day. Evenings he'd be put in his cot and would wake every half hour and wouldn't go back in cot past 9/10pm. It got worse recently where I was struggling to get him in the cot at bedtimes so I stopped trying and leave him in my bed. He now sleeps for 1-2 hours each nap twice a day and mostly does long stretches in the evening (not always, but sometimes up to 3+ hours until I go to bed). Once I'm in the bed it does go a bit downhill, but it's better still.

He used to wake up in the cot screaming looking terrified. When he wakes up in my bed he sits and chills for a bit.

It's made a huge difference.

LetMeOverThinkIt · 27/01/2026 09:44

OtterMummy2024 · 26/01/2026 20:04

I'm sure you have tried this but: what happens if you give Calpol or Neurofen an hour before bed?

Sadly, not much! If my eldest didn't settle it'd be one dose of calpol and out they'd go for the night however that isn't the case here. When he had his ear infection we were swapping between ibuprofen and paracetmol as recommended by the docs to keep him comfortable and it didn't really improve his night time sleep

OP posts:
LetMeOverThinkIt · 27/01/2026 09:55

jenn88 · 26/01/2026 20:39

Hi @LetMeOverThinkIt
firstly sorry your going through this, unless you have been through true chronic sleep deprivation first hand it’s hard to get people to relate!
I have been through similar to yourself, my son is now 21 months and it’s gotten easier….. but not perfect!
He had terrible colic like symptoms every night without fail for the first 9 months of life he would scream like clockwork! I believe he had CMPA but I was fobbed off as no rashes etc! I battled on at the cost of my mental health and nearly my relationship, however that’s another story!!!!
I like you have tired it all, even ashamed to admit I ordered melatonin online!! Every spray/patch/prayer!!!
In the end we got him a double bed and we coslept, he woke a lot but it was quick to settle him and we got as much sleep as we could at that time!
Slowly working from that we now start the night in our own beds and if he wakes this side of 1am DH goes to him, otherwise I will go get into bed with him or he might come to our bed button settles back down and DH will
go to the empty bed!
for info he is still breast fed to sleep and on 1 nap per day! Also has ear issues and repetitive ear infections/perforated eardrum!!

so basically no magic answer but time!

Thanks for replying, it's so hard isn't it? Mentally I'm rock bottom, every ounce of energy I have I reserve to try and be present for my 3 year old. I'm very lucky that both sets of grandparents are local. My MIL came over on Sunday to read to my eldest whilst we joined my son for a nap because weekends are haaaaard!

I do think unless a medical issue comes to light it is probably behavioural and time will fix it. Either that or he'll learn to talk and tell me what hurts/ what's scary etc. It just means we need to survive until such time! We are going to work out a way to try and get his cot beside me in our bedroom again like a giant next to me to see if that helps.

OP posts:
Everythingeverythingeverything · 27/01/2026 09:56

It sounds like you might be stuck in a bit of a cycle, @LetMeOverThinkIt

Are you breast feeding him to sleep when he wakes hourly in the night? He may be getting too much milk, and that may be affecting his appetite during the day. A bedside cot (or as a pp suggested, getting a double bed in their room) might be good, as they can sleep next to you. Or is it time to phase out breast feeding? Maybe as a pp suggested it is in something that you are eating / drinking? Are you dairy free? As could your breast milk be causing issues if not?

If it is having that much dispruptuon then I think major action is needed. Friends who had a difficult sleeper (due to milk allergies) actually had two separate bedrooms, so that they took it in turns to get a full, uninterrupted night’s sleep.

LetMeOverThinkIt · 27/01/2026 10:03

shardlakem · 26/01/2026 20:57

I was in the same situation and did some gentle sleep training, he is 3 now and still wakes a few times in the night but it's brilliant compared to every hour!! Is also really easy to settle because of the traning, only pop in for 30 seconds tops.
Teething has a lot to answer for...

Thanks for the reply. I'd be interested to know what type of sleep training you did? We once sent my eldest to my parents for a couple of nights and attempted to help my son learn how to settle in his cot by doing what I now know as pretty much the "pick up pick down" method. It failed spectacularly and I watched the sun rise on both of nights with very little sleep!

I agree, teething is awful. We are watching these pesky teeth and praying they make an appearance soon. One seems to be on its way...

OP posts:
LetMeOverThinkIt · 27/01/2026 11:05

SleafordSods · 26/01/2026 21:20

If he has a milk allergy, are you both DF OP? Have you tried also cutting out Soya. The protein is similar to those in Cow’s Milk and around half of all people with CMPA also react to Soya.

Does he also have any of these symptoms? TT was to blame for my DC1’s horrendous sleep Flowers

I've been DF since he was a few weeks old and was Soya free for a time also. However the doctor suggested me reintroducing soya once his reflux and skin had settled as he didn't want me on too much of a restrictive diet long term. He didn't seem to react to soya from me and we have given him soya containing foods now he's weaning with no effect on his skin or reflux returning so thinking he may be ok with that?? But who knows! He can't tell me that his tummy hurts so we just have to rely on the others symptoms for now I guess. We are meeting with the allergy team tomorrow so I will ask the question as I'm there- thanks!

OP posts:
LetMeOverThinkIt · 27/01/2026 11:09

sharkstale · 26/01/2026 21:36

Could have written the first half of this myself. Almost 12 months old, sleep went from really good to diabolical at 4 months (when he started teething, I think that started it off and his sleep habits never recovered).

Only advice/hope I can give is that I've seen a big improvement recently since I moved him into my bed full time. He was always put in cot for naps, never lasted more than half an hour, twice a day. Evenings he'd be put in his cot and would wake every half hour and wouldn't go back in cot past 9/10pm. It got worse recently where I was struggling to get him in the cot at bedtimes so I stopped trying and leave him in my bed. He now sleeps for 1-2 hours each nap twice a day and mostly does long stretches in the evening (not always, but sometimes up to 3+ hours until I go to bed). Once I'm in the bed it does go a bit downhill, but it's better still.

He used to wake up in the cot screaming looking terrified. When he wakes up in my bed he sits and chills for a bit.

It's made a huge difference.

Thank you for this. I think we're leaning towards this type of of scenario for survival. He doesn't seem to sleep for longer in the bed with us so I'm hoping we can get his cot bed level with our mattress somehow and create a big next to me style cot for him which will give him the room to stretch out properly but I'm there for a soothing hand when needed!

OP posts:
LetMeOverThinkIt · 27/01/2026 11:21

Everythingeverythingeverything · 27/01/2026 09:56

It sounds like you might be stuck in a bit of a cycle, @LetMeOverThinkIt

Are you breast feeding him to sleep when he wakes hourly in the night? He may be getting too much milk, and that may be affecting his appetite during the day. A bedside cot (or as a pp suggested, getting a double bed in their room) might be good, as they can sleep next to you. Or is it time to phase out breast feeding? Maybe as a pp suggested it is in something that you are eating / drinking? Are you dairy free? As could your breast milk be causing issues if not?

If it is having that much dispruptuon then I think major action is needed. Friends who had a difficult sleeper (due to milk allergies) actually had two separate bedrooms, so that they took it in turns to get a full, uninterrupted night’s sleep.

We are absolutely stuck and miserable with it! He doesn't get fed to sleep every wake up as my husband and I split the nights into 2 hour chunks. I feed to sleep during my shifts as he doesn't really settle me without that but my husband can cuddle with similar success. He is 100% old enough now that I can start to wean him off the night feeds with my husband going in more than me, I'm just worried I'll lose my only settling method with him when all else fails!

During the day he is always offered food first and then topped up a while later. We're finding solid foods that he can pick up work better for him, he seems to not enjoy being spoon fed. I do agree that getting him filled up with actual food during the day may help with his night sleep so we'll work on that.

We have actually used my parents house to sleep over one night each alternating. It was good for a sticking plaster for a few nights but there were a couple of occasions where the person left behind had an awful night and there was no one there to "tag in" when they were about to lose it so we haven't done it for a while but may well go back to that again if needed. We could also turn our home office into a makeshift bedroom with a campbed potentially so a couple of good ideas there- thank you

OP posts:
LetMeOverThinkIt · 27/01/2026 11:25

Thank you everyone for your lovely replies so far. It's so nice to know I'm not alone. I've been slowly isolating myself from baby groups etc as I was getting upset with hearing other mums discussing 1/2 wake ups a night which is disruptive enough. There I was secretly bubbling over wishing I could complain about that and slowly stopped going out because I didn't want to be "that" person!

OP posts:
Pomegranatemum · 27/01/2026 12:06

Solidarity OP. Totally get where you’re coming from on a lot of this, including the isolation.
We are at our wits end with our two as well. If it’s any consolation, we’ve found that with our eldest (almost 4), despite being a truly awful sleeper, even she has the occasional night of sleeping through, and even on a bad night it’s not hourly! I’d also say that in our case I’m glad I didn’t stop breastfeeding her sooner than I wanted in an attempt to improve sleep, because even when we did wean her it didn’t make a blind bit of difference to her sleep. With her I think it’s developmental, personality and being quite sensitive to things.
Hope you get a 3 hour stretch soon!

LetMeOverThinkIt · 27/01/2026 15:19

Pomegranatemum · 27/01/2026 12:06

Solidarity OP. Totally get where you’re coming from on a lot of this, including the isolation.
We are at our wits end with our two as well. If it’s any consolation, we’ve found that with our eldest (almost 4), despite being a truly awful sleeper, even she has the occasional night of sleeping through, and even on a bad night it’s not hourly! I’d also say that in our case I’m glad I didn’t stop breastfeeding her sooner than I wanted in an attempt to improve sleep, because even when we did wean her it didn’t make a blind bit of difference to her sleep. With her I think it’s developmental, personality and being quite sensitive to things.
Hope you get a 3 hour stretch soon!

I am hesitant about reducing breastfeeding for the sake of sleep as I've lurked on enough forums now to read about those who have weaned off and it not only hasn't helped, they've then lost the only "silver bullet" they had for settling!

In the cold light of day I know he'll work it out eventually. Something will give... be it time or an issue that will finally reveal itself. I'm longing for a 3 hour stretch!

OP posts:
SunnyPlace345 · 27/01/2026 17:34

That's incredibly hard. I'm not sure what I can suggest. A friend ended up hiring a night nanny in this situation as both her and husband were losing it (and about to lose their jobs from such severe sleep deprivation), so you are not alone. Sleep training made no difference to them, her baby was just too distressed.

shardlakem · 27/01/2026 21:06

LetMeOverThinkIt · 27/01/2026 10:03

Thanks for the reply. I'd be interested to know what type of sleep training you did? We once sent my eldest to my parents for a couple of nights and attempted to help my son learn how to settle in his cot by doing what I now know as pretty much the "pick up pick down" method. It failed spectacularly and I watched the sun rise on both of nights with very little sleep!

I agree, teething is awful. We are watching these pesky teeth and praying they make an appearance soon. One seems to be on its way...

Yes we basically did pick up put down too. We worked out LO wasn't connecting sleep cycles at all because he was relying on us feeding him / rocking him / eventually lying on the floor next to him to sleep. The sleep training took 3 nights and made a world of difference, he learnt to resettle himself and if he really needs us we still go in but literally a quick 30 second cuddle (or just telling him to lie down now he's older!) and he goes straight back to sleep.

We did use a sleep consultant https://www.goodnightbaby.co.uk/ who guided us through and gave lots of useful advice about things to tweak in the daytime/bedtime routine to help with settling too.

Good Night Baby | Baby Sleep Consultants | Devon

At Good Night Baby we are a holistic, non-judgemental Baby Sleep Consultants to help you achieve a good night’s sleep for you and your family. We provide support for all babies and children and everything we do is related to your child’s developmental...

https://www.goodnightbaby.co.uk

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