I can’t do this anymore

[TheWorlds]

I just can’t do this anymore, I am a single mum and my children all have different levels of autism, oldest being most severe. She hasn’t attended school in 4 years and I am exhausted, she has a tutor 2 hours a day supplied by the LA but im finding this challenging. I have to supervise all sessions meaning sitting in the library with her for 2 hours every day. Im struggling to get there on time as I have to drop other kids off to school in the morning and get them ready in the morning. On the way to her tutor I have to drop my youngest off by bus, her school is literally opposite the bus stop but after I drop her I have to go back to the bus stop and wait 20 minutes for another bus, it literally takes me 2 minutes to drop her so it’s frustrating having to wait 20 minutes for the next one to get my daughter to the library and we are often
late.
The tutor often gets frustrated with my daughter And ends the session early, im not saying my daughter isnt difficult this is why I was unable to teach her myself any longer, but im finding that im dreading the sessions. My daughter is very dis regulated in the mornings and it’s hard To get her to the sessions a few times I’ve had to cancel as I can’t get her there.
They’ve also provided 2 mentors to come and take her out but I don’t find this helpful dont get me wrong im grateful with how much they’ve given her but I just want her back in school. The mentors often bring her home early and im not in because I told them I have to collect other kids from school, or they often cancel due to short staff, i feel like they are running out of places to take her as they only take her to the park and library opposite my house. There was a centre she could have gone to which would have been better as they have facilities there but it was too far and I couldn’t get her there. I don’t know what to do anymore I just want to give up and forget it all. We have tribunal Coming up but that’s taken a year and she’s 15 now so I keep thinking what’s the point now, I might as well give up. I can’t do this anymore. im terrified of tribunal and is it even worth it now she’s 15 next month. I just can’t do this anymore im being pulled in far Too many directions, and it’s affecting my younger kids. I can’t get my youngest to school on time as there is just far too
much to do in the mornings, meaning we are always late and the school are constantly On at me. Should I just give up now im
not sure I want to continue with tribunal?

You must be exhausted. None of the support in place sounds suitable and seems to be adding to your stress and probably for your DD too.

Please go ahead with the Tribunal but, if you can, find someone to support you. At 15 she is entitled to another 10 years of support. That could even be residential college or a more suitable local
option with transport.

Look on the SEN Local Offer for your LA for any parent support groups and the SEN parent support service if they aren’t already supporting you.
Do the school know what pressure you are under? Try to get something formally agreed in place. Lots of children with autism have adjusted school times due to sensory overload. Speak to the SENCO. They will know what is available locally.

Have you looked into Direct Payments/ Shared care for some proper respite for you? Any friends, relatives or volunteer services nearby who can help you?
Well done for posting it’s a good first step. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and support IRL.
Sending a virtual hug. You don’t have to do all of this alone.