Please advise - 3 year old changed overnight?

[GreeneryGrass]

My 3 year old son is gorgeous, chatty and funny. He is quite loud and excitable but generally so lovely. He loves to play with others but also enjoys sitting reading alone (not that he can read words but enjoys looking!) and imaginative play. Last year, nursery briefly thought he may have some additional needs due to him hitting his head the odd time but this has stopped and nursery have since said they don't think he has additional needs but just has a "quirky personality".

These last few days he's been like a different child. Last weekend he was unwell but improved by Monday. Then during the week He had a nightmare day of nursery - weeing multiple times on the floor, pulling books and toys off the shelf, emptying out potties on the floor before they were emptied and just not himself in any way. The next day he was a dream, then the day after he was sent home as they thought he was unwell. In the past, questionable behaviour had often been as he's getting ill.
Tonight he's been so difficult. I've given him and the baby all my attention all afternoon - imaginative play, Lego, teatime. There have been two times where he didn't have my full attention and both times he wet himself and came to me laughing to tell me. He's just done it for the second time now as I was on the phone discussing my grandmas cancer treatment (not relevant for him bless him but it's just a really hard time) and we just dont know what to do. He's been shouting (excitedly, not angry) a lot today and just seems like it's maybe attention seeking behaviour? I don't mean that in a bad way, I just don't know how to phrase this.

He loves sleepovers with grandparents but right now we're trying to cut these off whilst we try to work out what's going on with him. Is a random stage of struggling and difficulty normal? Could something more be going on? It's a really hard time right now in my family but he's my priority, but I just feel like I'm drowning and this is just really tough. Please tell me if you've gone through this and where you ended up. Thank you

How old is the baby? After DD2 came along, we had multiple potty training regressions and behavioural changes with DD1. Really dont underestimate the impact a new baby can have on them, even if outwardly they seem all fine with it.

Rather than cutting off grandparent visits, id try leaning into them and either getting them to take the baby for a bit so you and DS get some 1:1 time, or he goes to them by himself for an "extra special big boy" outing where they spoil him for a bit. Doesn't have to be a sleepover - could just be a couple of hours on an afternoon. We are a long way from grandparents, but we went to visit for a long trip and I took DD2 and made myself scarce upstairs for a few hours so that DD1 got some undivided attention from them. If you think about it from their perspective, a new baby is like a bomb has gone off in their world and they dont have the tools to process it.

Sorry about your grandma's illness 💐

Thank you for this. The baby is 5 months old, nearly 6. I think you might be bang on actually, I have worried in the past he might resent me and the baby when I am feeding him and I can't always get to him immediately. Come to think of it, sometimes when I'm holding the baby my eldest will say "mammy, put him back in his seat". You might be totally right

My first step would be to get him checked for a uti, they are uncommon in little boys but not unheard of.
Another thing it could just be a regression phase and you weather it and come out the other side. Years ago, and my boy is now 23 so i do mean years, i read a book about how to raise boys or something and one thing that stuck was between the ages of 3-5 approx they have a growing stage which is not entirely unlike puberty, in regards to the level of changing and growing they do in a relatively short time. Just keep modeling the behaviour that you want. But rule out possible infection/thing stuck in the ear etc.