Overwhelmed with motherhood

[Overwhelmedmum000]

I just need to know I’m not alone here. I feel like I’m absolutely drowning in motherhood/life. I have an 9 month old and a 3.5 year old. My 3.5 year old is in nursery 3 days a week and I’m on maternity leave, I feel like I have no right to moan or feel overwhelmed because I’m not even working at the moment, I have plenty of childcare for my oldest child and DH is supportive and does as much as he can around his own full time job. But I am constantly absolutely exhausted and feel as though I just can’t cope with the demands of motherhood. I feel so stupid for feeling this way because people cope in much worse situations than me. I feel as though I’ve completely lost myself, I never have time to get my hair or nails done and hang around with unwashed hair in slobby clothes because I reach for the nearest thing in a rush. I don’t exercise because I feel like I just don’t have time. Will this ever get better? I feel like I’ve been like this since I had my first baby but the second baby has amplified it

So sorry you are feeling like this. Do you have any family close by that can help out. Do you have home start where you live they have trained volunteers who come and give support with under 5s.

Your allowed to feel this way.
Motherhood is hard, I did it all alone 30 years ago.
it does get better, right now your in the thick of it all, ask your husband to have the baby Sunday mornings and have a bath and pamper yourself, go out to lunch so it is as little work on that day as possible.
if need be book a half day nursery so you can do things mid week.

Just want to send some love and validation your way. It is hard. It's incredibly hard. Your difficulties are just as valid whether you have all the help in the world or none at all. It sounds like you're judging yourself harshly and comparing yourself to others. Please give yourself some grace. This is so demanding and draining. I'm sorry you're struggling and finding it difficult to cope right now. It's a huge challenge to find time and space to do the self care and action the "solutions" or even have the energy once a break comes. That can become another source of self blame. It hurts when you lose your identity outside of motherhood. I hear your pain and your struggle. I believe in you.

I found my youngest being from about six months up until my eldest starting school really hard. Completely overwhelming. My youngest is now two and a half and it’s slowly (slowly!) getting more manageable and easy.

You are working. You are working constantly and relentlessly. You’re just not getting paid for it and society undervalues what you’re doing.

Is there any possibility of on a Saturday morning or a Sunday your partner taking the baby out after a feed for a couple of hours along with your toddler? And to leave you behind to not doom scroll or do housework but to rest, or have a long shower, or even just a poo without interruption!!!!

I have felt the same. I currently have a 5 and 1.5 year old and I'm just starting to see some ways in which I might get other (non-Mum) aspects of myself back. I think while your youngest is under 1 is such a hard time and it's perfectly understandable to feel the way you do but it should get better!

I have a 3.5 year old and felt like I'd lost myself. I'd rarely manage to get showered or properly dressed on a morning so just felt so rubbish about myself. We came up with a morning routine so we all get time to get properly ready for the day. We get up 7ish, DH gets DS ready for the day while I shower, get dressed, skincare, hair etc for about 45 mins, then I take over with DS and he gets 45 mins to get himself ready before work at 9. It's made me feel so much better, could you do something like that perhaps?

Also take some time away from the kids if possible, get your hair done every few months and your nails if you feel like that would make you feel better? I get my hair cut and dyed roughly every 8 weeks while DH has DS. If you only ever do things for everyone else you will lose your identity!

Also make sure you're getting out everyday, a class, a softplay, a walk, being stuck inside never helps.

Thank you everyone for your supportive replies I’ve read over them many times and it’s really helped. Lots of useful suggestions which I’m going to try and implement

Hey just wanted to check in, how are you?