We've driven the length of the UK for family birthday with our 9 month old, highly sensitive, car hating, bad sleeping baby. And it's been as awful as I anticipated.
She's a bad sleeper due to some kind of ENT issue (under investigation) but she now currently has a cold so after two hours on her back she can't breathe, so every night I'm sat up from 2am holding her upright so she can get some sleep. We already cosleep and have had to make some makeshift floor bed from a mattress topper because they set up a single bed and a cot for us, despite asking how we wanted the beds made (a king size bed was available, but given to another family member)
All the family excursions have been an hour's drive at least, and the main birthday activity was cancelled due to bad weather. 20 of us ended up going for a meal at a very busy restaurant instead. It was 1.5 hours away and the baby screamed both ways, didn't eat in the restaurant and needed to be walked around by one of us the entire time. Family that had never met her kept asking to hold her and I just had to keep saying No and take their offended looks.
The family we're staying with also just keep mithering the baby. We live a very low-fi life back home. Baby loves to pootle with her toys by herself while we do breakfast and get ready for the day. But here everyone is up early and on it. We like long walks in the woods, we eat whole foods and listen to music. But here they constantly engage her, the TV is always on, they keep trying to film her toddling and always just in her face. They're constantly trying to feed her when she's eating and have bought loads of processed baby foods despite me saying that she literally just eats what we eat, and I would bring all her snacks. I know they're just trying to help, but that doesn't make it any easier on me and baby.
The 8 hour drive here took 24 hours because we had to stop overnight in the end because baby was having a hard time sleeping in the car. She then only slept 4 hours in the hotel. We then had to stop ever hour due to her distress.
Our car also broke down this morning. It was fixed but only enough to get us home.
I told my partner I didn't think coming would be a good idea (visiting his family) but he was adamant this was very important as the whole family were gathering for this birthday. We're the only ones who live away. Turns out on the three days we've been here, we only all gathered for the one meal and we've seen some other family in dribs and drabs. Everyone has been planning everything on a group chat that we weren't added too, so we've just been marched about with no forewarning of plans etc. my partner absolutely knows how awful this is for me and keep offering me forlorn eyes and sorrys. Which I guess is something, I hope he hears me next time I offer protests.
I just feel so bad for my poor baby. She so overstimulated and not sleeping and eating right, and I'm trying my best to be there for her and help. But shes still struggling and visibly having a hard time. I'm also more exhausted than Ive ever been and struggling to keep it together. We leave tomorrow, but it's an 8 hour drive home and I'm sat here awake in the middle of the night holding my sniffly baby so she can sleep peacefully.
Just a lesson in trusting my gut and saying 'absoluty fucking not' when these opportunities are suggested. I know my baby, and I know that in this season she just needs home..
Wish me luck for the drive home 🙃