Just lost it and went apesh*t at my LOs

[Yabbadabbadooo]

I had two hours of non-stop screaming, pulling hair, chasing etc from them. I tried diversions, I tried separation, I tried reason, I tried ignoring it. After a very fraught dinner I got angry with them because they both deliberately lobbed full mugs of milk across the room whilst my back was turned and I was filling the dishwasher. I put eldest DD on the naughty step and youngest DD on her high chair facing the wall and made it clear why they were there. Whilst going to get a bucket and mop to clean it up they went back to the scene of the crime and started running through it and rolling in it.

It's fair to say I lost the plot big time and I sent them to their rooms separately whilst I repaired the carnage.

When I went up to their rooms they had both trashed their rooms. Clothes, nappies, toys everywhere, all done to the sound of delighted shrieks.

I got all coldly silent on them (trying to kind of re-group myself and control my anger) and told them to start helping me to tidy but my eldest just kept on and on at me - laughing hysterically, pulling my hair, jumping on her bed etc. I then just completely went ballistic and smacked her bum once, quite hard.

We both then dissolved into tears and that then prompted a huge conversation about our respective behaviours being really crap (not those words obviously).

Am not proud of myself, I know I should not have acted like the adult and rose above it but the red mist descended. This is most unlike me and is the first time I've flipped in four years of parenting (and DD2 has tested my patience to some pretty extreme levels).

I'm not looking for absolution, or criticism. I'm well aware that I shouldn't have let it happen and I was the grown up in the room and should have coped better.

I'm worried I've confused DD by smacking her then being full of remorse. I tried to explain but she's only 4. I suppose that's one of my main concerns.

DD2 is 3. Coz I know someone will ask her age too.

Sounds like they were driving you to distraction, you shouldn't beat yourself up for getting the red mist. I think sometimes it's good for children to realise they can go too far, as long as you sit down and explain it to them afterwards and reassure them that you love them then I'm sure you won't have done any long term damage.

After all, we were probably almost all smacked and we seem to be ok! And I can clearly remember that feeling that I had really gone too far this time, and how it made me behave a lot better for a (small) amount of time afterwards.

Give yourself a break and do some cuddling with your LOs, it will all be ok.

I don't think you've done any harm. And a big reconciliation scene was probably what you all needed. Much better than smacking in anger and then trying to cover up by pretending it was all part of some big parenting plan.

you'll all be ok. They will have learned a lesson about going too far and you will maybe think of ways of dealing with this sort of behaviour on their part before it gets to that level .

I think maybe not putting a stop to the escalation earlier was where you went wrong.

Separate sooner - if they trash their rooms that is their problem - I would have just explained that they messed it up - they could deal with it - because their behaviour had not been good enough to have earned my help.

Hopefully they are in bed now - and you can relax and recover.

It probably won't help but please don't beat yourself up. We have all had the days from hell and we all lose our tempers at times. I have smacked in temper and it is awful.

oh don't feel bad. i would have cracked long before you did. it's understandable. no-one can cope with that kind of behaviour, when every time you tell them off they laugh at you and do something even worse.

but next time, rather than smacking them, go calmly into their room(s) and remove their favourite best toy, and tell them they can only have it back when they have earned it, or something. i'm not really into punishments but sometimes they need the big gestures.

well done for saying sorry, talking about it, and admitting that you were wrong - not easily done.

OMG, Yabba. What a time you've had. I think you did really really well to contain yourself for as long as you did. No doubt you were absolutely tired out yourself.

I think your DD1 probably understands now that she really pushed the boundaries this evening. She probably is confused but you sound like you've been pretty consistently (and amazingly!) patient for most of her life. She'll handle this incident just fine. She knows you love her and she knows that you usually you don't smack her.

Did you say sorry to each other?

Hopefully tomorrow will see you move on from this without too much guilt. You've not scarred her for life - you shocked her for a moment and you shocked yourself too.

I hope you feel better after a good night's kip.

Yabba - sounds like a bloody awful couple of hours. My sympathies. I would deffinitely have cracked sooner than you did.