Toddler hysterical each night going to bed

[Justdancinginthedark]

My DS is 2 and 4 months old. For nearly a week now, he has been crying hysterically when put in his cot.

He is up most mornings between 7 and 7.30. If he naps, he won't go to bed until 10, and it is still a crying match. I have cut out the afternoon nap these past 2 days, but he cries his heart out still at bedtime.

I bathe him at 6.45/7, give him a bottle, brush his teeth, and tell him stories downstairs before going upstairs at 8. Close to 8.30, or before it if I think he is ready, I try and get him in his cot. He cries hysterically and tries to climb out but can't. He has a night light, Tonies, teddies and his cloth for comfort.

Last night and tonight, I walked out of the room and closed the door while watching the monitor. Both nights, he cried hard for nearly 5 minutes before calming and tucking himself in. Is it wrong to let him cry like this? Any other suggestions?

I have also tried to stay in his room until he is asleep, and on these occasions he stays up until after 11. He cries with my DH too, so it doesn't matter who does bedtime. I just find it so difficult to hear him cry.

If he’s not napping I’d try starting bathtime a bit earlier so you’re putting him in his cot at 6.45/7. Also maybe do the bottle and stories upstairs in his dimly lit room? I don’t think 5 mins is v long to cry though appreciate it can be really hard to hear!

No answers, just solidarity with a 2yr 4 month old who has recently started doing the same. The last few days he’s dumped his duvet and pillow out of his cot and refused any form of comfort too. He asks for 10million books but shouts over me when I try to read them.
I'm assuming as with all things, it’s a phase.

If he's only crying for five minutes it's fine to leave him.

I would suggest cutting your bedtime routine down a bit though, there's a long gap between bath and bed and going up and downstairs is confusing. I'd try upstairs, bath, milk and a story, brush teeth and get into bed within an hour max.

I'm sure you've thought of this but just in case - have you tried doing the reading whilst he is in his cot? Make it part of his wind down routine then you're not moving him after you have relaxed together.

Move bedtime earlier so he’s in bed by 7. If he cries 5 minutes then self settles that’s great.

sometimes they go through phases of trying to see what will work to get you to let them stay up. Stick to the schedule.

When you say that you have stayed in his room, is that for the bedtime stories? My friend taught me to read the stories very plainly and calmly, my way was too energised/involved, I had to be more like one of those hypnotherapy type story tellers.
I confess though that I never mastered it, so if it only takes 5 minutes of alone time to settle himself then that might be the way to go.

Thank you, it has made me feel a lot better hearing 5 minutes crying isn't bad. @Maraudingmarauders it is so tough.

I will try the earlier bedtime as he could be overtired. That is a good idea moving the stories and bottle upstairs and cutting that time. I will definitely try it. @O00ps I never thought I could be hyping him up with the stories. That's a great idea.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions x

Definitely agreed with the earlier bedtime. 7 would be a good idea based on wake up time and no nap :)

No tears last night. Fingers crossed for the same tonight.