Stimming 4 year old

[user789264]

Hi. I am getting worried about my 4 year old. He stims a lot when he's excited (flaps hands and jumps up and down). He also 'zones out' sometimes when he does this. Today he has watched the same episode of a TV show 6 times. I am getting concerned that he is on the spectrum. His flapping comes and goes, sometimes more pronounced than others and comes in phases - I think when he is developing. I have spoken to preschool and they are not concerned - he is sociable, works well with other children, shares and understands emotions. Should I speak to the health visitor about this? Could he be on the spectrum and need support or would you leave it? Anybody who has experienced the same I would be grateful :)

Most people stim, children more than adults but as people get older they tend it do it in more subtle ways. If that is you’re only conerns then the NHS won’t be interested.

I would just continue to monitor now.

@2026willbebetter thank you for commenting. I really appreciate it. Are you in this field of work/have experience with this? It's just a bit unnerving and conscious that he starts school next year!

I have on diagnosed autistic child and 6 year old with a number of autistic traits. I asked for a cahms referal for 6 year old over the summer and one of many of the concerns I raised was finger stimming over 75% of her waking time and the referal was rejected.

@2026willbebetter wow - I can't believe they rejected that! Can you recommend any other avenues to explore?

How is it unnerving to flap your hands and get absorbed in things? Please rethink the kind of language you use about people who you think might be autistic. As an autistic person myself, I'm sorry that people like me are concerning and unnerve you.

How often would you say he is stimming @user789264? Stimming in its own isn’t a concern as long as it’s only occasionally but stimming along with zoning out and watching the same tv program repeatedly might indicate ND.

How does he do on this simple progress checker?

@doglover90 I'm very sorry I have offended you. No offence was meant I can assure you. I'm merely trying to say that it I am finding it worrying and that I am looking to get my child appropriate support if that is what is required. If anything I am trying to advocate for my own child if he needs help/further assessment or support.

@SleafordSods thank you. I've had a quick go at that checker and he can do most of those things. His stimming occurs several times a day for several minutes. Perhaps I should just continue to monitor as was suggested.

Does the checker say that he needs some support?

It says that he may need some help with talking?

Keep dairy for now. January 2026, hand stimming, flapping for x number of minutes, x number of times a week. Occurs when watching TV and excited. Add anything else you notice.

If you have concerns when he is at school ask to speak to class teacher and SENCO.
You can pay for private assessment if that’s what you want. It’s between 3.5 to 4k for a proper assesment. We did this with our eldest child. There is little support out there even with a diagnosis.

I'm pretty sure all children flap their hands when they are excited and watch their favourite film over and over again. Your language around autism is really negative and quite demeaning.

Thank you for your advice. I will do this :). I hope you manage to get some support for your 6 year old :)

This could be the sign of something. But it’s impossible to tell at the minute because this is really, really normal, common child behaviour. You see this well into primary School with children who have no additional needs. So don’t get your self worried about things overly.

My DS is autistic he was diagnosed age 4 but I put the wheels in motion when he was 2 years old concerns were lack of speech and lining up his cars.
As a baby he hit all his milestones and was even an early crawler and walker.
My son stims and flaps his hands and bounces up and down, will reply the same scene over and over it’s a comfort thing.
Hes verbal now just has his quirks but love him dearly he’s very sweet mr happy go lucky attitude and loves to cuddle.

I have a plan for assessment. I actually don’t want her assessed yet as I also wonder about ADHD too and I think as she gets older her traits will become more obvious.She just needs support with emotional regulation which isn’t a CAHMS level of support anyway.

My 9 year old on the other hand needs CAHMS level support (lower agencies say it’s beyond her remit) but CAHMS say they only diagnosis autism and can’t offer support to autistic people and the eating disorder team of CAHMS also say they only deal with children who want to lose weight despite this only accounting for 2/3 of anorexia adults.

I wouldn't be surprised if he was autistic OP, I've worked in primary schools, SEN schools and preschools and have never seen an NT child frequently hand flapping, it's a very typical ASD stim. NT kids might nose pick, twirl hair or bite nails, adults might pace or tap a pen - but hand flapping is a typical ASD stim. It wouldn't be enough for a diagnosis on it's own though,

Zoning out is typical with sensory overload, and watching the same thing over and over is very comforting. Is that enough to get an assessment - who knows? They might want to know there are social communication issues and as soon as you say 'nursery have no concerns' they might not be interested.

I wouldn't take that to mean anything though, if DS had been assessed at that age preschool would have said he was great and very polite. At 10 when he got diagnosed school still made him sound perfect then too actually! The NHS paediatrician had no doubts though and diagnosed him in less than 45 minutes.