Did you get PPD/PPA with second baby?

[TiredMummy889]

My first baby was very colicky, didn’t sleep, had silent reflux and CMPA and had a highly sensitive temperament so was generally a miserable baby. I ended up with PPD and PPA, which peaked at 4 months PP (probably due to 4 month sleep regression meaning he was waking every 30 mins for weeks 😅). Once his CMPA was under control, we sleep trained at 7 months (don’t come for me, I was against it too but it was that vs. my life), things slowly started to improve but he was always a “difficult” baby due to his temperament. He’s a wonderful 4 year old now and I couldn’t love him anymore.

I’m now pregnant with my second as I’ve always wanted 2 kids but I’m terrified of getting PPD/PPA again and also worried about having another CMPA/reflux baby. Anyone have any reassuring stories of it being better second time around? If you had a similar baby second time, did you cope any better?

I didn’t have PPD/PPA or CMPA but my first baby was (and still is as a toddler) quite demanding, never wanted to be put down, reflux, colic, never slept independently- still in my bed now. My son is 10 weeks old now and is a complete different baby, has been from the day he was born, I never actually thought after my first baby that a baby could be so calm and happy. He is just happy to be here! Happy to be put down, sleeps in his crib, content to watch the world go by, yes he cries like every baby but it is night and day compared to my first. They say you never get two the same and that has been totally true for us!

I was in disbelief when I came home from the hospital, fed him and popped him in the moses basket and he just… slept! My daughter never once slept in there and every nap/ bedtime was a battle, he is the complete opposite.

Surely now you know the signs of CMPA and reflux so you’ll be able to immediately stop drinking milk if BF and get the reflux sorted or ask for dairy free formula etc, so even if they do have it it’s not as bad as the confusion of seeking help with your first child.

@chateauneufdupapa Yes definitely but I’ll never know if all of our difficulties were due to the CMPA as his temperament was also very sensitive and tricky (and still is today).

It can happen. But it was the other way around for me.

My first was a fairly easy baby and toddler. No PPD and I thought I had this parenting thing cracked.

My second broke me. It was one thing after another. First the birth. Then the reflux. Then the sleep. Or lack thereof. He was an unhappy baby and a dreadful toddler. Then tantrums. Demanding. Crying. Screaming. Hitting. Punching. Biting. I developed PPD around 4 months, which lasted until past his 1st birthday.

He's still far and away my more difficult child compared to his older sister. But I love him to pieces

My first had Tongue Tie and I can sympathise, i was so sleep deprived at one point i was hallucinating.

I don’t think you’ll automatically have the same experience.

My second didn’t have TT, fed every 3 hours for 10 minutes and was the easiest baby.

At least if you do hit problems this time you can get them assessed for TT, speak to the Pandas Foundation and Allergy UK and seek the support of your HV if you do feel that you need support

i had PPD with my first and she was a far easier baby than my second, who is a sleep refusing whinger (but very sweet!) Despite FAR less sleep and free time I didn’t get it this time around. Fingers crossed for you! But try not to stress - this time you will be more confident and experienced which will help massively

Yes I had PPD with dc1 and dc2, who both had relfux and CMPA. I had much more support with dc2 as I'd been with the perinatal MH team since dc1 (had to spend time in a mother and baby unit). It meant that I was able to have more monitoring, access to strong medication, and eventually a second spell in the unit with dc2 as well.

Get in touch with your midwife and ask for a referral to the perinatal team, they will be able to support you. Statistically it's more likely that you'll get it with dc2 but since you have been through it before, you and your family will be able to recognise the signs.

I had PPA with my first who had silent reflux, didn’t sleep and after my PPH. My second was a much easier baby and I didn’t have PPA.

I did have CBT with my first so maybe I just had more tools to help? And more sleep.

I had awful PPD/PPA after DS was born - colicky, no sleep, CMPA (with no support from drs), dead beat ex-h. Life was horrific. I was absolutely fine after DD! I knew the signs and symptoms of the allergies so I was armed with info when the CMPA kicked in and knew when to step away when I needed to, aswel as having a DP who took a lots of the load so I didn't end up in the same head space.

I did with all of mine but to varying degrees. So first was quite bad, similar baby to what you describe. Next I had too close age gap. Reflux was even frigging worse and didn't respond to anything really. So my PPD was really quite bad. No. 3 did also have PPD but not as bad as 2. Older children kept.me active, social, outdoors.And ppd passed much quicker and I didn't feel so unwell. I think with your age gap you'll do much better. You know what you are dealing with now, you'll ask for help quicker and know what to ask for for you and the baby.

I had PPD when my first was born, but not with my second. The difference was amazing. My first was a terrible sleeper and cried a lot over the first 8 weeks, and I had complications. I thought he didn’t like me and was better off without me.

My second, I couldn’t believe how different it was. I had the advantage of being prepared second time round - my family knew the signs, everyone involved in my care knew I’d had it so could be on the lookout for early warning signals. I was also on medication to prevent a relapse.

Preparation is key and you have that on your side this time round. Make sure you’ve spoken to everyone involved and they know what to look out for, I was very lucky to have a specialist midwife involved so see if they offer anything like that. I know it’s massively difficult but the sleep deprivation is a big factor so when the baby is here take whatever help you can on that one. Wishing you all the best.