Tell me about having a son!

[TTCbabynumber22025]

I'm pregnant and just found out I'm having a boy! I'm over the moon, we have a daughter already so getting one of each, and we've had a lot of fertility challenges, so I'm beyond grateful to be here.

The only thing is, I have no idea what boys are like! I have sisters, and never really had any friends who are boys. I don't have any nephews and all my friends somehow had girl babies. I have DH of course but he isn't a very typical "laddy" type and we met really young so I don't have much experience with boyfriends even.

Growing up, I was actually always a bit scared of men and boys - they seemed so different. I know that's not the case, I agree that clothes and interests aren't gendered and the only real difference is penis vs vagina but still. I'm excited to have a boy but just feeling a bit overwhelmed, so any advice from Mum's of boys would be greatly appreciated.

oh, and my eldest enjoys going to craft fairs with me, sewing, visiting art galleries, and vintage shops. My youngest is football mad. Boy or girl, they’re all individuals at the end of the day!

My 2 sons are adults now.

One was very into dancing and fashion and reading as a child, he is now a very heavily tattooed, long haired mosher who is in uni and doing very well.

The other was very sporty as a child and boisterous and is now a comic book reading someone collecting geeky guy who works in a manual job.

I also have 4 daughters all equally as different.

You don't parent a boy/girl, you parent the child you're given.

I have a mix and they were and are all brilliant. Born in the 90s so I probably did accidentally do a bit of sexism but they've all turned out fine, are lovely with me and to each other. We are a female heavy family but the upside is that the boy learned to treat women with respect.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Boys are great, they love their mum's and in sure you will bring him up to respect women

Three boys here. I grew up with a sister, so I had no clue about boys. It turns out it doesn’t matter. A boy is an individual and you will love him very much. Boys are brilliant children.

Congratulations. 💐

Boys are as varied as girls. It’s a new person entirely so no one can say. I have 2 sons who are totally different to each other. Both equally brilliant, loving (so loving!), kind and get on with each other very well. If your husband isn’t ‘laddy’ what makes you think your son will be? He’ll be very influenced by his dad id imagine.

All the above still stands while I say - I also have a girl and yes there are fundamental differences which it’s not current to acknowledge 😅 DD is far less easygoing, much more ‘in charge’, incredibly creative (but so is one of my DSs) and very naturally into all the ‘girly things’ which we only have in the house because and after she showed an interest.

It’s still impossible to predict though because of course gender is only one factor to personality. Had my kids been a different birth order, who knows how that would have changed things. They also have different parents - the same physical people, but by child 3 we had more experience, different tactics, different income, different amounts of time. Obviously DC3 has far less 1:1 time than DC1 did. I work now whereas I didn’t when the 2 older were preschoolers.

Good luck! It’s always a voyage of discovery getting to know your new child :) Boys are great!

My ds is 17. He's been a joy to raise, but he's not boisterous, team-sporty or noisy.

He loves books, maths, chess, swimming, cycling, martial arts and computer games. He eats enough to feed an army most days despite having the physique of a french bean..

Isn't keen on washing, and doesn't care about labels, football or cars, but is fussy that his clothes are cotton or linen.

He's kind, funny, loyal and has a wicked sense of humour. Not an ounce of spite. He's lovely. 😊

Actually OP, that is one thing that most teen boys do seem to have in common - the vast quantity of food they eat.

Feeding my ds is like feeding a waste truck. It's because they grow so fast. DS has grown a foot in four years (13 - 17).

They are all individuals - neither of my boys were boisterous or physical, that was my daughter. So throw out the preconceptions.

My sons still choose to spend time with us, even though to get are in their twenties. We all went to the cinema last week and we're going out for pizza next week. Just be a present, loving parent.

The only main difference was the boys argued with their dad during adolescence while my daughter argued with me.

Oh, and teenage boys' feet STINK.

I have 2 boys. Boy no. 1 extremely loud as a baby and really feral as a toddler. He has calmed down though at ca. 6 y.o. Boy no. 2 very calm baby but extremely stubborn and a screamer when a toddler. Looking at the playground, boys are definitely more wild, so early years might be tough. However, they probably have fewer problems than girls later, in teenage years. Provide them with lots of sports! Boys need and love to move - that will help them be calmer once at home. Buy a trampoline and put them in football classes.

Make sure their willy is pointing downwards in their nappy. Also put something on top (I used to use a reusable wipe) to absorb the fountain when they wee mid nappy change (DS did this almost every time!).

Remember the kids will have different personalities because they are different people, not because one is a boy and one is a girl!

I'm tearing up reading all these responses, thank you so much, I feel so reassured!

Like I say, I'm excited, I just think deep down I'm worried I won't know how to bond with a boy and he won't love me, which I know is so silly!

Proud mum to two older lads (20 and 17). Always encourage them to talk and be themselves. Both of mine have always loved Lego, model cars and trains. Watch out when you take the nappy off... they pee everywhere!! 🤣🤣

I felt like this. Apart from loving watching football, DH is a very unmacho man. He's bookish and gentle and loves cooking, art, music etc - all the things I love.

Then we had two boys. Even he was a bit taken aback. I think he assumed he;d connect more easily with a bookish girl, like the one he married
It's been bloody LOVELY. First, as you say, they are just small people - every child is different. But they did have a lot of energy, so we spent a lot of time outdoors, digging in mud, damming streams, building dens, searching for mushrooms, making bug hotels and snowforts, going on bike rides, camping in the garden. I loved all that.

Especially when they were younger, I really appreciated that my life had become a lot more robust and varied than it might have been if I'd had girls who were like me. I got to read Alex Rider novels, visit endless miniature steam railways, go to the rugby and take up martial arts classes, archery, target shooting, go to Comic Con and rock music expos. I loved all of that and would probably have done none of it if I'd not had boys.

My boys have turned out to be quite gentle in many ways - like DH in one respect. But their interests have nothing in common with ours. They studied subjects we know little about, excelled at sports and music that we have zero talent for. So... whoever and however they turn out to be, just enjoy them widening your interests in life.

My son is more sensitive and a deeper thinker than my daughter. Very in tune with what is happening around him and how others feel.
I feel like he needs me and my encouragement/ advice more than his sister does.

He is very loving, an observer, and not at all rowdy.
He enjoys inventing things, being creative and "working out" with his dad

Parenting him is genuinely such a joy.

Congratulations on your boy!

It’s not something you need to figure out in advance. It just happens. He won’t be born a ‘boy’, he will be a tiny newborn and your brand new baby that will probably look a bit like you all and feel yours.

You’ll get a ton of responses here, and your son may or may not be like the sons in the comments, but ultimately he’s your child and will be every bit as wonderful as your daughter.

I think sitting and dwelling on the differences between you, and worrying about ‘how to bond’ with him is a totally false exercise. Just relax, it’ll be absolute magic and no different to how your feelings unfolded for your DD. Your love will flow in the same way and from the same place.

Don’t overthink it!

Oh they love you! They will throw themselves at you with big bear hugs. Show affection to them every day and as adult men they will be comfortable showing it back.

When my two were both pre-schoolers they became fascinated that I put on make up and moisturiser. They used to ask to play 'beauty salon' (my name for the game as I'd never actually visited one) I had to sit down and they would gently pat cream on my face and feet and brush my hair. It was so sweet.

I don’t have a daughter to compare to, but I love being mum of a boy.

The obsession with sticks seems to be fairly universal. Everything else is personality. Mine is cuddly in private (too cool in public, now!) and just like his dad, personality wise, so I’m glad I chose a good DH, since I now live with two of him.

I think having a range of good role models for him is important, who can show that being a “man” can include all sorts of personalities.

make sure you’re ready to stop anyone who says boys can’t cook/ play with dolls/ like pink/ etc in the same way you would if someone tried to put limits on your daughter.

I love having a son. He doesn’t fit into any stereotypes at all, so didn’t need loads more outdoor time or get into fights, isn’t sporty and has never been boisterous.

The only advice I’d give is to be very aware of stereotypes and try to avoid unconsciously reinforcing them. I hate ‘boys will be boys’ chat, and ‘girls sit nicely/are quiet, boys need exercise/are loud’ (I’m not saying this doesn’t sometimes apply to individuals, but it’s not a given) boys toys and girls toys. All that kind of stuff. And as you will have one of each, as they get older, spend time with each of them one-to-one, based on their interests. Not ‘mum and daughter pamper days’ vs ‘dad and son at the footie’ as a default setting.

Model healthy respectful behaviour. Think about how girls and women can be treated in the world by some men - being talked over and interrupted, called bossy or ball breakers for being confident or assertive, expected to be default caregivers or responsible for life admin and domestic chores because they have a vagina - and avoid that in your home.

I was the same, no brothers, no male role models other than my dad, no friends
with brothers growing up etc. I have got 2 boys, both older teens now and they are brilliant. GIrls are awesome as well I have 6 beautiful nieces I love lots. But very happy with my lot as a mum of boys. Kids are kids and their sex is often the least important thing about them :)

I have 2 boys and very little experience of boy children prior to having them! Granted, its all I know (I don't have a daughter) but it is really quite fun.

I'd say that my two are quite different from each other. DS1 (9years old) is a bit more thoughtful, bookish, into pretend play, loves collecting things and crafting, really curious and whilst he is pretty hyper at times he is not the rough play type. He went through a football obsessed phase at about Year 3, when it seems his entire class of friends also did...but this has since waned a bit and whilst he plays a bit of cricket, and will happily have a kick about he's not overly fussed now. In contrast, DS2 (4years) is more rough and tumble, and is already obsessed with football and gaming (despite not being allowed on said games!), superheros, gladiators etc. and naturally gravitates more to 'boy toys'. Both are quite stubborn but that's likely more inherited from both me and DH (!) than about being a boy! Both love a cuddle, and were quite clingy/cuddly as babies.

I wouldn't change it for the world. It brings out sides of me I didn't really know existed - I've only got sisters and girl cousins so my childhood was quite 'girly'. I didn't realise how much I'd love getting muddy down the woods, or building dens, or playing football. It's fun!

The only thing that I HATE is when other people ask me whether I'm worried that my sons will get married and basically not bother with me anymore. Or, when they have their own kids, am I sad that I'll be the 'Dad's family' and no one likes them as much, and you'll never be as close as the mum's family. This does make me sad (and I find it frankly insulting and rude that people find it ok to mention it!) .... but I just have to hope that we'll build such nice relationships with my sons that it wont happen. My DH sees his parents all the time, we're super close with them to the same extent as we are my family, and they're just as involved in our kids' lives - I hope my boys see this, and it sets them with good examples for their future.

Congratulations! Not sure I can help because my son and daughter are definitely not the regular stereotypes! My son is 17 now and a really lovely boy, he was kind and gentle as a toddler and everyone liked him (boys and girls). At school he was popular and good at football but not at all boisterous and hated getting dirty or play fighting in case he got hurt! Now he loves music, dj’ing, nice holidays and going out but is still my little boy 🤣

my dd on the other hand is boisterous, loves a play fight, loves getting dirty, climbing trees and just being outside!

I've got a daughter and a son. I've loved parenting them. Just go with the flow and don't worry about the boy/girl aspect. My son is all rugby and football but very gentle in general. He won't go to bed without having a 10 minute cwtch with me. It's very much a delaying tactic but I love it!

In my opinion the differences between individual children is bigger than between girls and boys

You should really try and get boy/girl stereotypes out of your mind before the baby comes.

Obviously changing boy nappies can be more hazardous though!

ps my eldest girl also came home with pockets full of rocks so that isn’t a boy thing!

My boy is now 21 and like you I had a girl first. He is very loyal, has a kind heart and makes me laugh every day, he sends me reels from insta and phones me every day on his way home from work, the day that stops I’ll know he’s got a girlfriend. When he was little he definitely needed to be outside doing stuff he is still like that now but it’s skiing, mountain biking etc and yes always sticks and stones in pockets and bottom of school bag. I’m proud to be his Mum