Shared bedroom pain - any advice?

[Clueless1982]

My oldest two sons have started sharing a room - through necessity and it’s causing bedtime misery (for me mostly!) - any advice greatly received.

My husband works away a lot during the week, so bedtime for all three of my children falls to me. I start with my three year old (around 7pm) which can take up to an hour by the time he’s in PJs and had a story, been settled etc.

Then I take my 6 year old into the shared room about 8ish. But the issue is he wants me to stay and hates being alone. I’m starting to wean him off that, but he wants a bright night light on and messes about so much that he isn’t asleep when the older one (age 10) comes to bed. My oldest then kicks off because he can’t sleep with the lamp on, the other won’t switch it off - and then they just start arguing about everything, are up and down the stairs etc. and it’s just absolute carnage.

it takes up my whole night - I literally just have half an hour / an hour before I’m so knackered that I go to bed.

i don’t know what to do - there must be someone else who has a similar challenge! What’s your routine for getting everyone to bed without it taking all night and how do you keep room sharers happy when they want different things? I can’t cope with it any more 😆

Thank you for any ideas 🙏

What’s the necessity? Could the 3 yo share with 6 yo?

We’ve lost our other bedroom for a while - my sister is going through a messy divorce and is staying with us. It’s turned out to be longer than anticipated, which is another story!

The trouble is the six year old wants the room lit up like Blackpool illuminations. And the older two are such early risers I think they’d wake the smallest.

But maybe I could put oldest in with youngest. Thank you - I’d actually not thought about mixing up the sharers!

Bunk bed, him on the bottom, and a blackout curtain to draw across. Then he can have lights in his bit, and avoid disturbing the other one?

I’d say put the oldest with the youngest, he should be old enough to know that he has to be quiet and then when he wakes early he slips out to join the middle one if they’re both early risers.

Is there an end date to your sister? How long has she been with you and is she making plans to be independent?

Can you put your 6yo to bed in your bed, then transfer him when you go to sleep? I do that with mine sometimes (different reasons) and she’s never wakes up even though I walk, not carry, her through.

She’s been with us since June - she plans to buy a place of her own when the divorce has gone through, which should be March. But buying a house takes what - 4 months minimum? So I reckon I’ve got this until July at best.

It wasn’t such an issue when my husband wasn’t working away as one of us did youngest and one did middle and then he was asleep before oldest went up. It’s just all gone to pot now!

@Clueless1982 is working? Contributing?

Can your sister help with bedtime? Otherwise yes, I’d move the oldest to share with the youngest.