Breastfeeding

[sharkstale]

My 11 month old comfort feeds all night long.
He feeds to sleep for his 2 naps a day and for his bedtime.
He has zero interest in breastfeeding outside of these times.
I want to stop the comfort feeding at night, but everytime I Google for advice, I come across the same thing about stopping feeds one at a time, usually starting with morning feed. He doesn't have a morning feed! And technically there are no feeds to stop 'one at a time' - the way I see it, he doesn't 'feed' anymore, it's a comfort/sleep association thing, but at these times he's so demanding. He will not take no for as answer. I try to rock and sing him to sleep but he will fight to go on the boob. Night wakes if I tell him no he cries til he gets boob, which just make the night wakes worse. (I'm so sleep deprived already I don't have it in me to just persevere which I know will be the advice).
We both need better night time sleep. Any tips on what I can do to break this habit?

Does his dad live with you? Can he attempt to resettle him during the night? You could also sleep train or just delay going in to see him on a night time to see if he'll resettle himself, just a couple of minutes.

My son night weaned on his own around 18 months if i remember rightly. It happened immediately after I started capping his nap, he started sleeping through the night and didn't need night feeds anymore. I'd check his schedule to make sure his naps and bedtimes are timed well. I found the Huckleberry sleep schedules helpful, just search for the 11 month sleep schedule on Google :)

No, he's been a bit useless tbh. He's tried settling him a couple of times but baby screams and just won't settle for him.

I don't like sleep training and baby co-sleeps with me, he used to go in his cot for the first couple of hours of the night, but any wakes during that time he wouldn't resettle, he would scream for me, and would never go back down in the cot past 9-10pm.

He's always been like it though - in hospital after my c-section, he wouldn't go in the bassinet. The nurses started off by telling me they couldn't let him sleep with me, but even they gave up and let it happen.

He rarely naps for more than 30 mins, so there's not much to cap 😂. Occasionally he will magically nap for an hour or so, during which time I see him on the monitor start to stir but go back to sleep. So he does have the capability of resettling himself, but I think this only happens when he's so knackered from a bad night's sleep.
I'm going to give that a search now, thank you!

My husband was a bit useless with the nights too but he did used to resettle DS until around 1am (the first shift) and then I'd do all the wakes after that. It just gave me a slight break!

Mine also wouldn't go in a crib to start with, we took it in turns to hold him overnight for the first few days then had to figure out getting him in his crib 😂 (we were both scared of co-sleeping)

I'm afraid I've never co-slept so I have no suggestions beyond the schedules! Hopefully someone else will have more tips though :)

@ThatMintMemberI've just had a look and the times of rise, naps and bedtime are pretty identical to what he's already doing, just his naps aren't as long as they recommend. Quite often, after his 30 mins, I'll let him finish his sleep contact napping, so we're pretty close tbh to the recommended sleep schedule. Good on one hand although doesn't help me 😂

I think you really need to get your partner to step up. That's the only thing that has reduced night feeds for my now-15 month old. My husband would go to her if it was before 1am, then we moved it later and later. We agreed he would persevere, I wouldn't step in. She always cried and screamed but he cuddled/patted/rocked. Your partner needs to accept they'll be upset - as long as he's offering comfort, it doesn't matter.
I still feed but now not til at least 3am, at which point I will sleep in her floor bed with her til morning. I also stopped nap feeds a month ago - she didn't like it but got the message after a week. Reducing BFs has helped her increase her food in the day, and she has got into having warm cows milk in a sippy cup (never took a bottle), I'd recommend trying that (we did cows milk from 11 months).

I waited until 12 months to stop feeding to sleep and then sent my DH up with her. 30 minutes of crying the first night, 10 minutes the next, and now he's better at putting her down than I am. We also have a floorbed in our DD's room which makes it a lot easier.

Just leave him to it and they'll figure it out.

Is he also having formula? Milk should be the main source of nutrition up to 12 months so if he's only having breastmilk for milk you shouldn't be reducing feeds.

He's 12 months in less than 2 weeks