Exhausted and frustrated at 8 year old.

[Babydonthateme]

My DD has always driven me crazy at bedtime for 8 years it wasn't so bad when she was a baby and would nap (although she would wake up.if I left the bed) but for the last 4 years she won't go to sleep will literally lie there with her eyes open and fight it. Pulls every trick in the book, trying to talk, wants stories, wants food, will lay down without the blanket etc etc... I hate it no matter how early or late I put her to bed or when I wake her she won't sleep.

I'm so tired,.my insomnia is so bad now as I'm so stressed about it and getting her to school on time on Monday night I was waiting for her to brush her teeth and I accidentally fell asleep and she stayed up all night. It's unbearable I try giving her melatonin gummies and I find them spat out sometimes in the bedding.

I'm a single parent, I literally have no one. I don't feel like I can sleep and I'm sick of waiting for her to go to sleep. I'm still waiting nearly an hour and half so far.

I don't need advice like do a routine etc does anyone elses kid do this. Is there a reason?

Still awake I'm fuming we've changed sides of the bed, we've taken melatonin gummies. I'm so stressed. She's started to read now so I can't even use my phone near her anymore as she tries to read my messages and stuff.

Have you tried your GP for a referral to a Paediatrician or sleep clinic?
I know you don’t want strategies but it does sound like she’s turned this into an endurance test/ competition.
I’d try taking the pressure off yourself and DD. Be matter of fact “ I’m going to bed at 9.30 we are up at 7” for e.g. after following your basic routine.
Make sure she has what she needs, books, water extra blanket etc and leave her to it.
Is she tired at school or doing OK?

She sleeps in bed with me, she used to sleep in her own room but it wasn't any better and I don't mind sharing a bed. I'm afraid to just leave her to it because she will probably just mess around in her room for hours. I'm sending her to therapy but she's really against it.

She's still awake now. No shows light off in bed gummies, no talking etc over 2 hours. It's literally the time I need to go to sleep to be able to get her up on time for school.

Maybe I do need to take her to a doctor. I'm trying to be really strict tonight but it's really starting to irk me. If I leave the room she will get up to find me or pretend to be asleep and then accuse me of waking her up saying it's my fault.

Any history of neurodivergence in the family?

She's going to a therapist right now as we suspect she has ADHD or AuDHD . They are finally asleep after just over 2 hours.

It's good to take me an hour or longer to get to sleep myself due to stress now

Sorry to hear that it must be so stressful. Hope you can get some help soon.

I love her so much but I'm so tired that I can't do anything, I barely clean and cook now. Some nights I don't sleep at all because I'm so worried about her attending school. I know there is something that has to be addressed to help as it's not her only behaviour issue but it's so difficult. I just wish she didn't fight me all the time.

You say you are tired, but how is your 8 year old?
Will she be awful to get up in the morning because she has only just gone to sleep at 11.30pm?
Will she struggle with school?
Will her teachers be concerned by her inability to listen and learn?
Will they be annoyed by her awful behaviour?
Will she go to sleep when she gets home, or behave like a demon after school?

No she doesn't go to sleep and she's quite moody, she will get about 8 and a half hours sleep if I wake her up right before we have to leave. Which isn't great as she also fights going to school which I'm trying to change her school as she isn't happy.

I am thinking about her a lot but I'm getting 0-3/6hours sleep right now. I just need some hope. Other people who have similar kids or issues.

This is screaming neuro diversity at me.

What are the weekends like?

I thought it might be ADHD or auDHD from your first post. The moodiness is another giveaway. A lot of them have trouble with sleep too.
Sounds like she has issues with transitions from one task / thing to another as well.

She most likely inherited the ADHD / auDHD from your side or her dad's side. It's highly genetic.