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Original poster

Do you think it is safe for your dc to ride on your dp's shoulders?

56 replies

Elf · 13/06/2008 16:12

The accidents thread has reminded me about this.

Whenever DH does this, I hate it because I think if he tripped on something, then the dc would surely die. It would be a heavy smack on the ground from high up wouldn't it? Also, if you are carrying someone on your shoulders, your vision isn't so good because you are not moving your head so freely are you? This is apart from dangers from up high.

It is such a common thing to do but I feel the danger isn't recognised.

What do you think?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

dylsmum1998 · 13/06/2008 21:38

i used to carry my ds like this all the time up until he was nearly 4 and got a bit big. it never occured to me that it wasnt safe, it meant we could get to where we were going when he started to get tired
i carry dd like this breifly never for long as she leans down to cuddle me so i just put her in the sling so she can cuddle lots

Original poster

Elf · 14/06/2008 07:58

Well thanks for the thoughts. I don't wrap my dcs in cotton wool generally, it's just this shoulders thing that worries me sometimes and apparently some of you too. I agree, DH doesn't usually trip but everyone does sometimes. Anyway, just glad some people know what I mean and sorry to hear about those of you who have actually had accidents.

OP posts:

findtheriver · 14/06/2008 09:09

Maybe we shouldn't carry our children on our shoulders, because yes, they could fling themselves off, or get decapitated by low doorways, or even get struck by a meteorite as barbamama says. In fact maybe we should all live in bungalows because there's always the possibility of falling downstairs anyway. But then a bungalow could be swept away in a tornado or hit by a meteorite. In fact why bother having kids at all?
FGS!!

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EyeballsintheSky · 14/06/2008 09:21

As an ex-nanny who did ram a 2yo into a door on my first day in the job, just make sure he has adequate clearance before attempting anything with height restrictions!

kjaysmum · 14/06/2008 09:38

oh dear it's such a hard one to be able to let go isn't it... I have a very dare devil Dp it's in his nature and our Ds is the same way..so as you can imagine together...my poor heart, but I will not take this away from them as I believe my son would come to resent me for it as he grows, they will take risks, we have to get used to this...you have to get used to this, good luck

crazyashell · 14/06/2008 10:00

I cringe whenever I see this being done as I imagine the worst happening.
I once witnessed a father doing it with his young ds going up an escalator in the shopping centre.
I had this image of the youngster falling over the side of the escalator at a great height onto the hard marble floor, not bear thinking about.

blueshoes · 14/06/2008 10:18

Never thought of this risk. My dcs love it. dh is 6 feet.

I don't think I could get excited about it. Says me whose ds has fallen off the bed at night many times and head first from the top of stairs to the bottom. He cries, but not for very long and hardly a bump in sight. Me thinks some of you mollycoddle.

StealthPolarBear · 14/06/2008 10:23

DH has carried DS like this since he was able to sit up (DS, obviously )
Surely if DH tripped while carrying him it wouldn't be that he would fall 6ft - there would probably be a stumble / grapple and if the worst came to the worst he would fall from about 4 ft - about the height you probably carry them anyway.
For the first few weeks I was absolutely paranoid about carrying him up and especially down the stairs, but you're just extra careful, aren't you?

GoldenLady · 14/06/2008 10:51

Children love riding on my or my husband's shoulders.
The person carrying can hold a leg for extra safety.
What is all the fuss about?
You would never leave the house if you thoght everything through like this!
Relax and enjoy

lucyellensmum · 14/06/2008 10:53

DP does this and i HATE it! fortunately he finds it really uncomfortable but i just go ballistic, so he has given up.

Eyeballs, sorry but LOL did you keep the job

kiddiz · 14/06/2008 10:55

My dh carried our ds on his shoulders for years. He has sn and finds walking any distance impossible but hated the major buggy we had because "pushchairs are for babies and I'm not a baby". It was the easiest way to carry him. He has always been small for his age so dh carried him on his shoulders for years and never dropped him.

My sil was a paranoid mum par excellence. Her poor ds was never allowed to do anything because of some convoluted perceived risk she had dreamt up. Once he went with his dad to a soft play area. She actually gave her dp a written list of what he wasn't allowed to do (basically anything!!)before they left and rang frequently to make sure he was adhering to said list

sleepycat · 14/06/2008 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cluelessnchaos · 14/06/2008 10:59

I think it is safer to know where they are, I have done this as has dh with 3 children none have fallen.

EyeballsintheSky · 14/06/2008 11:08

Lucyellensmum yes I did keep the job. Fortunately she had a very chilled out mother and the victim's little sister is my goddaughter! Must have been my winning smile...

findtheriver · 14/06/2008 11:10

kiddiz, your SIL is the kind of parent that makes me despair. I just don't get this idea that one parent somehow 'takes precedence' over the other. FGS, how must a parent (mother or father) feel being given a list of instructions to take their own child out??

kiddiz · 14/06/2008 11:17

findtheriver...They are no longer together surprise surprise. So she now has to endure the torment of leaving him with his dad for whole weekends. I hate to think how long the lists are now

mumeeee · 14/06/2008 21:31

Children love ridng on thier Daddy's shoulders. If you didn't ever do anything that was a bit risky with your children then they probably would have a very boring childhood and not be able to do anything. So relax and let your DH do this.

toddlerhip · 15/06/2008 22:04

I think it's nice for kids. I don't do it much but DH does. I do get a bit worried (he has a tendency to be a bit slap-happy, - found ds standing up alone in the bath this weekend screaming while DH was sorting out pyjamas etc elsewhere - aagh!). Fortunately most of the time he does it on grass.

FairyMum · 15/06/2008 22:06

No its not safe. DS1 fell from my shoulders when he was a toddler. Head first, but children often fall a bit like stuntmen and he was fine.

pointydog · 15/06/2008 22:08

yes I think it is safe

MsDemeanor · 15/06/2008 22:12

It's just as safe as carrying a baby for heavens sake! How often does your dp fall over anyway? I honestly think this is really paranoid thinking.
It's huge fun for small children to ride on daddy's shoulders. All three of ours liked sitting up there while dh ran about like a loon. I have wonderful photos.

NotQuiteCockney · 15/06/2008 22:14

It's fine.

If they're too little to hold on, you need to hold onto (at least) one foot. Well, even when they can hold on, it's best to keep hold of them.

And yes, you have to watch out for obstacles - DH is stupidly tall, both of us have carried our DSes on our shoulders, lots, it's very practical if you're not so fond of prams.

Thomcat · 15/06/2008 22:16

What do I think? I think riding on daddy's shoulders is one of the most perfect joys for a child and their dad. One of my most perfect memories is riding on my Dads shoulders as he carried me into the British Museum. Wish I could do it now! I think being carried on Dad's shoulders should be the law at weekends if you are under about 3!

JRocks · 15/06/2008 22:17

I have no problem with DP doing it - I do have a tendency to trot along behind 'just in case' though!

bluenosesaint · 15/06/2008 22:26

My dd's love riding on daddy's shoulders!!

...i had to put my foot down when he merrily swung dd2 (aged 5) onto his shoulders on the way home from dd3's Christening though after downing, ahem, copious amounts of alcohol a couple of pints!

He was genuinly astounded that i didn't trust him on that occasion

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