Toddler breastfeeding - advice

[Teenytoddler]

Hi
LO is 22 months. He's BF when he gets up and also at bedtime. He's in nursery a few days a week (so no BF in the day) but often at weekends and my days off he will ask for milk - if he's tired/upset or sometimes I think he just fancies it or enjoys the comfort. I want to try and stop BF by age 2 but in the first instance I'd like to drop the bedtime feed as It's so restrictive as only I can put him to bed. This week we have tried my husband giving him a cup of milk at bedtime (he does have a sippy cup of milk at nursery and often at home too) but he screamed. I couldn't stand him being upset so I took over....he drank the sippy cup of milk from me but then wanted boob. Last night he took the sippy cup from husband but cried when he put him in the cot (until I went and fed him). I know I could leave the house/stay downstairs and my husband could preserve with the cup, but I don't want him to be upset, it breaks my heart when he's screaming for me. Is there any other way of doing it/some tips as he doesn't seem to want to self wean at all...thank you.

Hi there I wonder if you should wait until warm weather arrives and then just stay with him in the park until he is super tired. Then a super quick bath and straight to bed, no mention of milk (offer food and drink in the park).

We had a similar issue... only my husband could get our toddler to sleep by lying next to him (I was busy with the baby). One night my husband so fed up after a long day in the park and no adult time he just said "night- night " and left. Our toddler screamed "I don't want night-night!" However he was so physically shattered he didn't follow my husband. Five minutes later he was fast asleep.

I would definitely wait until warm weather. Breastfeeding is as much comfort as food. With cold and bugs going around it's best to wait, imo

I actually found it easier to stop the morning feed first as they accepted the sippy cup from me better when not tired, had breakfast got dressed and off to nursery. I then slowly reduced the evening feed.Then I just said no more milk left. If they dont drink the milk from a sippy cup dont worry they can have other sources of calcium in their diet or have it at other times.
With dt it was harder as they seem to take it in turns so I just went cold turkey. After three nights it was ok.
Just choose how your going to do and stick to it. Giving mixed messages will be more distressing in the long run. If that means you leaving the house every evening for a week do it.
I was a single parent so had no choice, I just made sure I had a big jumper on and a non feeding bra and was very firm.

@Hellofromthesideyoudontwanttobeon thanks
Yeah, I think it would be easier to drop the morning feed, but I just want some more freedom of an evening! I do go out but make sure I feed him first. If I'm not there he will feed, then play for a bit, then go to bed. He has plenty of yoghurt, cheese and he has porridge or ready brek (with milk) every morning so I'm not bothered about his milk intake. I just want my evenings back!

Move the last breastfeed earlier in the routine (ie do it earlier eg before bath) and then have your husband put him to bed. He will cry because that is how he is able to express that he wants something and is unhappy about it. But your husband can comfort him, he doesnt need to be left alone.

@Kosenrufugirl thanks for the reply. My boy doesn't speak well enough to have a conversation about it. He understands a lot but isn't speaking much yet. I do take your point but I'm getting to the point where I've just had enough and I can't face carrying on every night until warm weather/spring!.

@Mulledjuice that is a good idea, thanks. It's essentially what I've done a few nights already

To encourage him to wean I'd recommend just keeping him busy during the days so he doesn't think to ask for milk and be ready with distractions (snacks, toys?) if he does ask, he'll eventually get out of the habit of asking during the day. Also delay letting him have it so he learns he can't always have it. Also maybe only one location, i only fed my DS in the house for a while, then eventually only in my bed. Also think of something to replace the feeds you're wanting to drop, I started giving my son cereal bars in the morning to stop the morning feed, cadburys ones at first so he was really interested in them 😂 I dropped the night feed last, just warned him a week before and counted down then told him no more.

Be patient, I think I can help you with what I did for mine, similar age.

The fact he drinks milk from something else is great as that’s half the battle done.

Be patient, you’ve gone this long and in just a few days/ weeks you will be able to have your evenings back.

Firstly you must stop morning and day feeds. The quicker you do this the quicker the whole process will be.
Still feed of an evening but try not to feed as much/ long (if you need to relieve your boobs just pump the minimum out.
This is reducing your supply.

After a few days of that, pump before you feed him so he won’t get much but have the cup there ready so he has another option. When he doesn’t get your milk he will want the cup- his choice and no struggles as you’ve not had to wean him off he has done it himself.

I would first stop feeding him other than at morning or bedtime; say milk is just for those times, boobs don't work during the day or something. I think it's easier to get rid of the morning feed - I did that at 24 months both times with no drama. I would just go out in the evening but not far at first. I found mine would happily accept a cuddle or cup of cows milk from DH if they knew I wasn't in the house.

Thanks everyone

Most of mine had no problem accepting the cup and a cuddle when offered. One of mine did just have to go through a screaming phase for a few nights. I just had to be firm, offer the cup and a cuddle (we co-slept) and wait till he got the message. He was over two at that stage though.