How can I correct this?

[Leiil4]

Doing some reflection and this is more of a me thing but I'm a parent to a 4yo and 2yo.

I have anxiety have since I was young and really really dont want my kids to get it, but they are around me most (some nursery days but I dont work full weeks and DH works away ) so i'm worried they'll pick stuff up

My 4yo has always been more cautious but is getting more confident but at the minute he is very much listening to rules and being very sensible. We dont have rules but In pre school they have a lot of structure and rules of course to prepare for school (he tells me they have to line up before the garden time etc haha) and hes taking his 'big boy' role serious since turning 4 last week haha!

But he is being very sensible and for example when im alone walking with them is like we can't run away, which is true, and he said there's cars in the road and again im glad hes sensible and stays by me and holds my hand

I'm just worried I project my worries, like he said the other day with his sister she cant play with little toys in case she puts them in her mouth so ive said that at some point

Please help me correct this while my kids are young and can? I want them to be happy carefree and they are i am just so anxious even rhey were jumping about on my bed and I was like ah be careful in case ylu fall off

Its hard but I really need to relax and change this now any tips please

I don't think you're doing anything wrong. I'm very relaxed and don't get anxious, and have kids the same age. My oldest knows that we stay on the pavement because cars will knock you down and that little toys will make babies choke. I think that's a sensible level of risk assessment. I think the thing to watch is to make sure you're just hovering when they're on bikes or climbing and just saying stuff like "be careful!". Be constructive if you need to, like feel with your feet when climbing down etc, but don't just add fear. But what you've said sounds fine.

Thanks for this i was worried I was making an anxious child he is very sensible but hes kind of priding himself on being a 'big boy' as hes said since hes 4 haha and loves being a protective older brother so tells his sister stuff haha

I do need to stop the be careful, im constantly like that and I feel like dad is mr fun and the kids just see me as boring

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, just sensible and likely to avoid trips to A&E.
We live near the sea and often walk along the seafront and I’m always saying things like if you fell in there (up against the sea wall and tide in) you’d be unlikely to get out again or not to walk where waves are crashing over as they’ll wash you away. Even if other people are.
It’s just teaching risk assessment/common sense/ensuring they stay alive.

There is a balance between good safety awareness and projecting anxiety. That you are aware of it is good, but perhaps the overthinking of it is your anxiety talking. Can you talk it through with your DH or a friend or family member you trust? Some counselling would be helpful too - is that a possibility for you?