Toilet issue

[Mayana1]

Hi to all,

I have a just-about-to-be 4 year old.
We have been potty trained for a 1,5 years. He was dry in the night long before he was in the day, although I kept the nappy in the night for about 6 months longer (just in case) after I removed it in daytime. He had no accidents in that time, apart from 2-3 times in the whole year when he was sick. And he gets sicky very rarely, so no accidents at all. Then suddenly he stopped telling us he needs a wee, though he always tells he needs to poop. No issue at all, we were taking him whenever we thought is fine and it worked well. When we were going places he was able to stay dry for hours, even 2-3 hours when it was not possible to put him, he was dry.
But then we started a childminder in September. First it was all well, then he suddenly started having accidents. She called me one day, that he is on his 3rd sets of clothes (I always sent him with two sets just in case) and she has nothing more to give him in case he does it again. So he had 2 accidents that day. She asked for pull ups. I did not want it and told her he is dry for so long and we will not do it. So we tried again and although she was taking him every hour, he still done it. So I gave in (I know I should not) and started bringing him in pull ups. All well and he is coming home dry regardless of wearing it. But now for some reason he started peeing in the night. Before he would be dry whole night or would woke up to tell he needs to pee. Now he just pees. We had 3 accidents in a last month, the amount would happen in a year time. I am absolutely devastated and upset. Firstly as per daily issue at the childminder (at home we are on our routine, so no nappy at all) and now the nights that were going so smoothly. I just want to cry. Due to accidents my husband put him a nappy few times in the night and he actually peed in it once and now all this issues when he is not wearing it.
Please advise me what to do. Star chart does not help, the M&M reward does not help, nice conversation does not help, strict doesn't either. I am losing it. I am tempted I will send him on Thursday without a nappy and tell her to put him in a restricted area (that was she suggested) with a waterproof sheet to sit on.
And looks like I will need sheets for my bed too :-(.

Thank you for any nice advice.

I'm curious about what's happening at the daycare. Something's causing your child stress.

This

Have you ruled out worms, which causes bedwetting and urine infection which makes the need to go more urgent?
Those would be my two things I'd check as I have an 8 year old who is prone to infections and the last time he had a run of bedwetting it was worms.

He knows! When I first try to put him in a nappy, he cried that he doesn't want it and that nappies are for babies. We were travelling a lot (flying, using public transport for long hours, he is always dry.) Accidents happens at home or at the childminder.

I've been to see a gp a month back or so, but at the time he was totally dry in the night, so they didn't check on him. But I can book it again of course.

Agreed. It's clear that this is a problem with the childminder setting. The most logical advice is to remove him from the place that's causing him to have accidents.

He had times when he didn't want to go, crying at home, but I explained him why he's going and now we have no problems with that. He learns things, I can see the progress. Plus he is only going for 2 days weekly.

I'd be worried he's unhappy with the childminder for some reason. If the accidents are only happening there then clearly he is reacting to something in that exact environment. Might be worth looking into alternatives. Especially when they're too young to maybe be able to tell you whats making them urinate....also bedwetting at night suggests nervousness or worry or fear or something similar. Do the accidents happen on the same nights each week (like before/after childcare)?

It is not happening on particular day, but we have that issues at home too since I put him to the childminder. In the night he did it 3 or maybe 4 times in the last month (including last night, which put me down to make a post!) He was fine going to the childminder, I had another childminder first, where we went for few days for training only, but he refused going there with excessive crying and literally having a meltdown going in the house (but straight away after he was in, he was fine and enjoying 😕), so I had to look for another one. He was fine with her in the beginning, then few times he cried, but not as nearly as at the other ones, but now he is fine again. He is telling me what she teaches him, what he did, he seems happy when I pick him up and he walks in without issues, when he didn't want to do it with the other one. He is very vocal and very well verbally, so he would have no issues telling me if something is wrong. When I went to the GP (but that was a month back, when he was dry in the night still) they told me there is nothing medical and this is normal for boys of his age that they don't want to tell when they need to go. But now we are having a night issue as well and I think to take him again.

Apart from going to a childminder, nothing else.

Then that's where you make a change. It seems the only thing related.