19 month old autism traits?

[AREJAAG]

Parents of children with autism, what were the signs you noticed around age 19 months?

nursery have contacted me today to say that they think my son needs his hearing tested as he didn’t respond to his name or loud sounds around him, until something was banged on the floor near to him which they felt he noticed due to the vibration

my mind has gone on a bit of a spiral about his development all together now due to a few other things recently which I’m unsure whether it could be his hearing or something developmental.

he walked at 14months and loves to dribble around a football. He climbs up stairs and walks out of our front door oven a step independently and I’m not concerned about his physical development. He loves to climb, move and run around furniture.

he goes to nursery 1 day a week and it’s taken him a long time to settle due to this but he seems to be enjoying it now

the following things have concerned me a bit:

• he knows about 30 words but has recently started to babble more and stopped repeating words in the last few weeks to a month. when I said can you say .. he would repeat the word but hasn’t done this for a couple of weeks
• He loves my in laws dog and said her name when he saw her but he’s stopped doing this recently but I think this may be because they have been on holiday for 2 weeks so he hasn’t seen them/her for a fortnight
• he only responds to his name probably around a 3rd of the time
• he does prefer to play alone but will sometimes come and sit on my lap with his toy
• he plays with his stacking cups the majority of the time but he will play with a ball and other toys inbetween - but he is happy playing with his cups for a long time and will carry them around the house stacking them, putting them in different places, throwing them etc
• he doesn’t do any pretend play that I’ve noticed but will sometimes try to give me a bit of his drink if I make slurping sounds
• He never asks me for things/leads me to things he wants but I’m not sure if this is because I’ve been over anticipating his needs and don’t give him chance
• he’s never pointed to things he wants but will stand at his sisters bed and jump up and down and make a noise if he wants to get up.
• if his drink is empty he will throw it on the floor and make an angry/upset noise rather than bring his cup to me
• if I point to something and say look, he doesn’t see what I’m pointing at but will look at my finger or look at my face and smile
• he doesn’t refer to me, his dad or sister by our names or try to call us
• he used to point at pictures on the fridge and say mama and dada when he recognised our faces. He still tries to do this but doesn’t usually get it right and sometimes says baba
• he used to say “ball” when he saw his ball but doesn’t do this very often. He has done this once in the past couple of weeks

positives:

• he will link the names of colours to his toys as I hear him do this and also counts when he plays with stacking cups
• he makes eye contact, smiles and joins in actions and sometimes words with nursery rhymes
• he smiles and looks interested when he sees other kids playing
• he’s recently learned colours, can count to 10 and some letters and I hear him saying those when he’s playing
• when his dad comes back from work and I say who is that or is it dada, he will say dada and gets excited to see him. He used to say his name when he saw him coming through the window but doesn’t do this anymore
• he does make good eye contact when we play with him e.g chase and hide and seek.
• if I have a book open and point to the characters he will copy the action but doesn’t tend to copy the name
• he understands if I say come here or get your juice or where’s your kitchen
• he will come and put his head between my legs and bounce or hold onto my pants and look up at me if he wants me to pick him up
• he will say bye bye and wave when we are leaving somewhere or he will say bye bye if someone closes the door. He says bye if someone else is leaving our house before anyone else says it so he is definitely aware.
• he will say hi and wave but I’ve not noticed him do this for a week or so now
• when he responds to his name (not very often) he does make eye contact and it seems deliberate

I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it. Could this be normal development and possibly a blocked ear? His ears are quite waxy.
Should I be concerned about him not pointing or communicating and not using some of his words

I am taking him to the doctors tomorrow to discuss all of this but wanted to know if anyone had a similar experience?

I feel like I have failed him but I do have anxiety and adhd myself and get very overwhelmed. I worry I have not been spending enough time with him trying to teach him things - could it be that?

I don’t know if I am just worrying for no reason but I can’t get it out of my head that it’s my fault and I feel so guilty

thank you if you took the time to read

I absolutely don't have social anxiety so maybe you shouldn't be so quick to label everything its pretty ignorant of you to do so

Lack of eye contact isn't social anxiety!

OP he sounds fine aside from his hearing.

I don’t think you can tell from the things you’ve said. Mine is autistic and a teenager now but he didn’t have any development issues and could talk etc. Play school picked up there may be an issue around the same age as yours as I guess they see more kids but the health visitor decided he was just very bright snd ready for school so he didn’t get diagnosed until he was 6. I always had a suspicion he was autistic but he was my first so nothing to compare to and thought perhaps I was overthinking. At that age the main things mine used to do that looking back are autism signs were repetitive behaviours- so he would open snd close a gate for example, when we went swimming he would like to pat the side of the pool for ages, he was fascinated with padlocks, he also loved watches and clocks and would look at them in the Argos catelogue for ages, he was fascinated with letters and numbers and would say the numbers of every house as we went by and want to stop and spell out all street signs even at 2. When we went to a toddler group all the kids would be racing round on little bikes etc and my son would always go to these numerical stepping stones they had out and put them in a pile in numerical order.

One of mine the early symptoms were flapping hands and twirly feet. Staring transfixed at a shadow, far more interested in shadows than toys. That's it, she was an early talker but average for everything else.
The other was just very smart, he was miles ahead of other babies his age. No other signs at all. Both were pretty antisocial to people outside our nuclear family too.
Your bub sounds fine, I wouldn't worry too much. Mine are 13 and 6 now and thriving, I wouldn't have them any other way.

Thank you all so much for your comments you’ve put my mind at ease. I am taking him
for his ears checked this morning and will mention my concerns just to be on the safe side. I’ve always been a worrier and I think I’m probably just overthinking it. I guess they all develop at their own pace

Update:
thank you everyone for your comments. We have been to see the doctor this morning and she said his ears have so much wax that she wasn’t able to see far down enough to tell if he had glue ear. She has referred him for it removing

My husband was like this when he was little and my mil took him to the doctors as she thought he was a bit deaf. Nope! Turns out he’d get distracted by something and ignore everything else ( diagnosed ADHD, as an adult) . His brother appeared to be the same so mil didn’t worry when he didn’t respond to his name etc, she assumed, he was just easily distracted. Nope, turns out he had glue ear and needed grommets.

Op the fact he’s saying so many words and knows colours etc is amazing. My almost 18 month old doesn’t know. He’s so young don’t read too much into it. Ofcourse voice your concerns but I hope you can rest knowing he’s a loved boy and is incredible in so many aspects x

Which traits have you picked out?

I'd say the key thing is that it sounds sees language as a practical tool for fulfilling needs rather than for the purposes of connection, and his strong interest in categorising by number and colour. It's very unusual for a baby of this age to be counting and organising by colour as part of play. It's also unusual not to respond to their name. It doesn't sound like this is hearing related as OP says he understands when he's offered something he wants or needs.

That’s good news OP.

I didn’t notice anything at that age. Looking back I would say sleeping issues, tantrums, struggling with transition and being clingy.

I’m wondering if your son has glue ear.

I didn’t mean to make him sound like he’s categorising things. He likes his stacking cups and always tries to solve it but doesn’t always get them in the right order etc. he will
spend a bit of time trying but then carry them round to different rooms/places and often leave them there cause he’s seen something else he wants to play with. He doesn’t try to solve it for long periods.

when he plays with stacking cups I can hear him get them apart one by one and count them out whilst he’s doing it because me and his dad have always done this with him, again this isn’t all the time

also when he picks one out he will say red, green or blue but he doesn’t know all
of the colours and this isn’t everytime. Don’t know if that makes a difference I just wanted to clear that up

It may or may not be an indicator, but I've noticed amongst my family and friends some of the autistic children have started counting and known things like colours and letters very early.

It really isn’t an indicator.

A diagnosis of autism is so much more than linking a few so called traits.

A diagnosis is made by a full team of professionals, teachers/nursery staff, parents, educational psychologists, physiotherapist, paediatrician. It takes months of observations and meetings, all experts involved.

So much more than ‘I have noticed a few of my friend’ children….’

Hence why I haven't diagnosed her child with autism, I've said a few of those factors could be indicators and it's worth continuing to monitor. As an autistic person with many autistic family members who has also worked extensively with autistic children I do find it quite patronising for you to suggest I'm diagnosing someone by saying "a few friend's children". It is quite common for autistic children to say very few words but become fixated on things like numbers, letters and colours and this is one thing that the team you mention would look at.

OP asked if the things she's describing might be signs of autism and I would say that yes, some of them are things that would be taken into account when assessing for autism.

I didn't say he'd meet the diagnostic criteria.