19 month old autism traits?

[AREJAAG]

Parents of children with autism, what were the signs you noticed around age 19 months?

nursery have contacted me today to say that they think my son needs his hearing tested as he didn’t respond to his name or loud sounds around him, until something was banged on the floor near to him which they felt he noticed due to the vibration

my mind has gone on a bit of a spiral about his development all together now due to a few other things recently which I’m unsure whether it could be his hearing or something developmental.

he walked at 14months and loves to dribble around a football. He climbs up stairs and walks out of our front door oven a step independently and I’m not concerned about his physical development. He loves to climb, move and run around furniture.

he goes to nursery 1 day a week and it’s taken him a long time to settle due to this but he seems to be enjoying it now

the following things have concerned me a bit:

• he knows about 30 words but has recently started to babble more and stopped repeating words in the last few weeks to a month. when I said can you say .. he would repeat the word but hasn’t done this for a couple of weeks
• He loves my in laws dog and said her name when he saw her but he’s stopped doing this recently but I think this may be because they have been on holiday for 2 weeks so he hasn’t seen them/her for a fortnight
• he only responds to his name probably around a 3rd of the time
• he does prefer to play alone but will sometimes come and sit on my lap with his toy
• he plays with his stacking cups the majority of the time but he will play with a ball and other toys inbetween - but he is happy playing with his cups for a long time and will carry them around the house stacking them, putting them in different places, throwing them etc
• he doesn’t do any pretend play that I’ve noticed but will sometimes try to give me a bit of his drink if I make slurping sounds
• He never asks me for things/leads me to things he wants but I’m not sure if this is because I’ve been over anticipating his needs and don’t give him chance
• he’s never pointed to things he wants but will stand at his sisters bed and jump up and down and make a noise if he wants to get up.
• if his drink is empty he will throw it on the floor and make an angry/upset noise rather than bring his cup to me
• if I point to something and say look, he doesn’t see what I’m pointing at but will look at my finger or look at my face and smile
• he doesn’t refer to me, his dad or sister by our names or try to call us
• he used to point at pictures on the fridge and say mama and dada when he recognised our faces. He still tries to do this but doesn’t usually get it right and sometimes says baba
• he used to say “ball” when he saw his ball but doesn’t do this very often. He has done this once in the past couple of weeks

positives:

• he will link the names of colours to his toys as I hear him do this and also counts when he plays with stacking cups
• he makes eye contact, smiles and joins in actions and sometimes words with nursery rhymes
• he smiles and looks interested when he sees other kids playing
• he’s recently learned colours, can count to 10 and some letters and I hear him saying those when he’s playing
• when his dad comes back from work and I say who is that or is it dada, he will say dada and gets excited to see him. He used to say his name when he saw him coming through the window but doesn’t do this anymore
• he does make good eye contact when we play with him e.g chase and hide and seek.
• if I have a book open and point to the characters he will copy the action but doesn’t tend to copy the name
• he understands if I say come here or get your juice or where’s your kitchen
• he will come and put his head between my legs and bounce or hold onto my pants and look up at me if he wants me to pick him up
• he will say bye bye and wave when we are leaving somewhere or he will say bye bye if someone closes the door. He says bye if someone else is leaving our house before anyone else says it so he is definitely aware.
• he will say hi and wave but I’ve not noticed him do this for a week or so now
• when he responds to his name (not very often) he does make eye contact and it seems deliberate

I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it. Could this be normal development and possibly a blocked ear? His ears are quite waxy.
Should I be concerned about him not pointing or communicating and not using some of his words

I am taking him to the doctors tomorrow to discuss all of this but wanted to know if anyone had a similar experience?

I feel like I have failed him but I do have anxiety and adhd myself and get very overwhelmed. I worry I have not been spending enough time with him trying to teach him things - could it be that?

I don’t know if I am just worrying for no reason but I can’t get it out of my head that it’s my fault and I feel so guilty

thank you if you took the time to read

He sounds like a normal little boy. Maybe get his ears checked but if you look hard enough for neurodiversity you will find it.

Thank you that’s very true I’ve become a bit fixated on it I think! I will be taking him to get his ears checked. I appreciate the reassurance

None of your concerns sound concerning to me (I have three autistic children and am also diagnosed as autistic, but everyone is different).

Get his hearing tested and go from there. It’s also quite normal for children to have selective hearing or to be distracted and not hear things, so it’s quite likely his hearing is fine. Children also often have colds and this can impact how well they hear.

That’s not true. Neurodiversity is a difference in how the brain processes information. If someone isn’t neurodiverse, you don’t won’t find it just like you won’t find someone is pregnant just because they have symptoms. It’s a straightforward they are or they aren’t; having traits doesn’t make someone ND.

Thank you for responding. I think I am just a paranoid wreck and I don’t really have the knowledge of autism to question it but these are just the general things that I’ve heard about it that’s probably making me jump to conclusions

he has had back to back colds since just before Xmas so that would make sense thank you

It’s not as straightforward as pregnancy to be fair!
Eg
Some people are borderline.
The defining criteria for diagnosis have varied over time.

No, it doesn’t. In fact the DSM-5 criteria, which is typically used, is for persistent deficits in relevant areas and is very definite about what constitutes a diagnosis and what doesn’t. What has changed is that a diagnosis previously known as Asperger’s or Sensory Processing is now usually diagnosed as autism. However, that isn’t borderline autism. People either are autistic or they aren’t.

Yes, but the line is drawn somewhere.

If someone isn’t neurodiverse, you don’t won’t find it

Literally everyone is neurodiverse. There aren’t two states ‘autistic’ and ‘not’ (such as pregnant or not).
We all process things differently and we all have weird quirks. You can read into them as much or as little as you like.

Op some of those things could be autistic traits but they could also be toddler traits or personality traits.
I would get his hearing checked and if you are concerned still request a health visitor visit

No, literally everyone isn’t neurodiverse. What a ridiculous and ill-informed statement.

But everyone absolutely does have neurodiverse traits for e.g. i struggle with eye contact but that doesn't make me autistic. The list of traits for neuro diversity are as long as your arm and still growing 99.9% of people will have some of them

Definitely get his hearing tested. My son had lots of hearing problems and ear infections at that age and it did affect his speech and listening.

Your list sounds very usual for a child with some temporary hearing loss.

he plays with his stacking cups the majority of the time but he will play with a ball and other toys inbetween - but he is happy playing with his cups for a long time and will carry them around the house stacking them, putting them in different places, throwing them etc

Sounds like he is developing great focus and extending his concentration span, through his interests. Also look up and read about ‘schema’ (schematic play) these are normal patterns of play, where a child repeats and revisits.

https://www.famly.co/blog/play-schemas-and-why-they-matter

Thank you I will definitely be starting with his hearing

Realistically at 19 months it’s a bit too early to tell. Some of his skills sound quite advanced, e.g numbers and colour knowledge. I’d adopt a wait and see approach but no harm in raising your concerns with your health visitor. A couple of things could point to autism but could just be part of how he is developing. Keep encouraging his speech, he’s quite young so don’t read too much into what you perceive could be communication difficulties yet. Encourage him to say “I want…ball, cups, drink etc” and model this consistently. Playing games to develop his joint attention will help too.

My first thought was glue ear rather than autism

It’s semantics. The whole concept is neurodiversity, so everyone is in there.

Some are diagnosed as neurodivergent (the term isn’t neurodiverse you see, it’s neurodivergent), such as those with autism, adhd, learning difficulties etc. Others are considered neurotypical.

ETA I don’t agree with @LittleLapwing otherwise btw.

There is a diagnostic process. It’s not a case of, say, autistic people ‘reading more into things’ than neurotypical people do. Yes we all have quirks, but for an autism diagnosis the symptoms must cause clinically significant impairment.

I’d get his hearing tested too OP.

Thank you so much I will take a look

Thank you. I will mention everything when I take him to the doctor about his ears

As you have ADHD and being ND often runs in families it does mean his chances are increased - glue ear is common in autistic children (but obviously not all children with glue ear are autistic). Definitely get his hearing tested but DS's (ASD) hearing used to come and go depending on whether he had a cold or not and they wouldn't do anything about it.

He's still very little but are you worried you're seeing speech regression? I definitely think that is worth raising. But it could be related to his hearing. Being more interested in numbers and colours at this young age could be a sign in itself, or might not be. Definitely keep a note of all your observations because it can be really hard to know at this young age but it might be useful in the future if he does get assessed at a later stage.

I had no idea at 19 months that DS was autistic. I just thought he was a bit stubborn and difficult. He wasn't diagnosed till 10.

No that's social anxiety. You don't have to have social anxiety to be autistic but social anxiety is commonly comorbid.

You sound quite ignorant actually.

It sounds to me like he has enough traits for it to be worth keeping an eye on. There's no reason to try and rush a diagnosis yet though.