AIBU - baby care split

[hearts1989g]

AIBU…

partner works 9-5.30pm Mon-Friday, WFH
we have a 5 month old
partner likes to start work at 8.30am and sometimes finishes at 6pm.
when it’s lunch he often eats and doesn’t take a full hour.
I get no respite in the day and accommodate the earlier work start. I also accommodate the working later (he sometimes doesn’t communicate he will be working later and I get frustrated come 5.30pm and he doesn’t come out to relieve me even for a cup of tea)
I just need 15 mins in the day to myself for a cup of tea and a recharge?

he’s a great dad, he does his fair share of chores etc.
I do find outside work hours baby care tends to also fall more on me by default (baby preference do settling as an example).

The martyrs are out in force here!!
if he’s getting a lunch break why would you not expect help at lunchtime?

and if he wants to start early/late then he communicates with you. Otherwise he’s just assuming you’ll care for the baby - will he also assume you’ll do your job round the baby post mat leave to let him have the ‘big man job?’

So what respite do you give him for his work? And no not saying you should but shouldn't respite be mutual? Going by your thinking

He goes out for evening drinks, runs etc and if he wants to plan to seem mates etc I have no issue whatever once it’s planned and not dropped on me

thats ok so long as you get an equal amount of free time. He can also look after the baby in the morning before work to give you a chance to have a shower or bath in peace or an early morning gym session.

i would 100% expect some sort of help during the day if he is wfh, at least sometimes. whats the point in pretending he is not at home? life has changed, use it to your advantage.

my husband is running his business from
home, often opts to work after kids
are asleep to make up for any time lost during the day. no drinks with mates and runs.. but that is his choice and has some flexibility with his schedule.

or get a babysitter when you need some
time for yourself if really he absolutely cannot take any sort of break?