3.5 year old sleep- HELP

[GladLurker]

My 3.5 year old son bedshared with us until he was 2.5 as I was breastfeeding him. We eventually put him in his own room just before he was 3, and still not at 3.5, he can't sleep without us touching us or being right next to him and has a breakdown if he wakes up alone in his room and we are not there. It is understandable as we shared a room for so long, but I have tried to be logical with him and explain mummy and daddy come thru straight away if he wakes up.

When he was up (usually about 12am after an 8pm bedtime) we now just bring him thru to our bed where he takes up so much room and moves constantly and often wakes up to chat for an hour around 4am then goes back to sleep. We did just get in to his bed with him for a while but its so uncomfortable as its a single, also I'm 4 months pregnant and wsnt to be comfy.

We have never sleep trained him, but now I understand why people do. We obviously tried a cot when he was a baby but he would scream until he was gagging if I left him for more then 15 seconds, so gave up and bedshared and he didn't make a peep that way.

Any advice please. The broken sleep is so hard. I know it's not forever but doesn't help in the meantime.

We tire him out during the day, he has a great diet, it would be nice to just have him sleep by himself longer than a few hours at night!

Thanks.

You've got a few options here!

Sleep training at this age is (in my opinion) really just about routine and consistency. If you really need him to sleep in his bed then it's a case of having a very rough few days, week, two weeks - however long it takes, of reinforcing that he needs to stay in his bed. However you feel it's appropriate, like saying that you will sit by his bad and hold his hand, but that's where he needs to sleep. It won't be easy, but change will come.

I would let your husband take the lead on this tbh!

Lots of people I know use a yoto, so they can listen to a story while they fall asleep or you can even put one on in the night. I don't like this but it works for lots of people.

Or if you actually don't mind co-sleeping just get your son a double bed so everyone can be comfortable even if you're playing musical beds.

I would probably do this anyway with an incoming baby, it really does make life easier. Even if 3yo is able to sleep alone by the time table baby arrives, kids still wake up, they still get sick, and they still need you in the night so it's always good to have options!

This is such a good reply. Thank you.