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Parenting

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Estranged Daughter

8 replies

Cherry2284 · 17/01/2026 23:37

My 21 year old step daughter no longer talks to her Dad and I, she sent her Dad awful messages, called him all sorts all because she felt he didn’t contact her enough, his oldest Daughter visits us often with her kids so I know jealousy is and always has been a big issue. The last message was her wanting closure and explanation why he’s such a bad Dad. I feel so bad for him as he’s mentally not coping and struggled since covid but also angry towards her, she must have a short memory as we done so much for her even took her in for 3 years when her Mum kicked her out until she decided to move in with her BF. My question is my Husband sends her £ every birthday/Christmas but she never acknowledges it, not that we expect a thanks, should he continue even when she has been so horrible?

OP posts:
socks1107 · 17/01/2026 23:44

We don’t send my estranged sd anything for birthdays or Xmas. She’s a similar age.
I think my dh sends a card but I know he doesn’t send £

Tired6789 · 18/01/2026 00:06

Is it worth trying to sit down with mediator or for family counselling. It sounds like both sides feel this is unresolved and it may be a way forward.

Dablab · 18/01/2026 06:48

You don't "take her in" when she's his own child! That's the absolute minimum bar for parenting, not something to brag about. I'd love to hear her side of the story.

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Lady2026 · 18/01/2026 07:17

Doesn't matter what they did or what they do I will never not love my kids and stop sending a nice card etc

McSpoot · 18/01/2026 07:20

Dablab · 18/01/2026 06:48

You don't "take her in" when she's his own child! That's the absolute minimum bar for parenting, not something to brag about. I'd love to hear her side of the story.

Those were my thoughts too. She must have been a minor (at least when she first moved in).

DinoLil · 18/01/2026 07:25

I stopped sending my DS £££ for birthdays and Christmas two years after he cut me and his whole family off. I can't send a 'nice card' because he hasn't told anyone where he lives, not even his dying grandfather who he was very close to.

I don't think your DP would be unreasonable to stop sending money. If she needs it, I'm sure she'll be in touch.

shouldofgotamortage · 18/01/2026 07:32

Stop sending ££, just send a nice card.

2026willbebetter · 18/01/2026 07:39

Dablab · 18/01/2026 06:48

You don't "take her in" when she's his own child! That's the absolute minimum bar for parenting, not something to brag about. I'd love to hear her side of the story.

I agree too. If he has been struggling for years then it sounds like he hasn’t been a good father due to this - has he sought help.

The DD wants closure, would they consider going to counsellor together to get this? X

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