Please don’t judge / need help for my son DENTIST

[DestituteDesperate]

Hi All

my son has 2 cavities - combination of non fluoride teeth, allowing grandparents to give chocolate and juice 2/3 times a week as they did childcare for me to minimise child care costs.

I had my own serious health issues which rendered me on sick leave for months waiting for the NHs to operate on me and in that period, I was surviving on £700 a month from universal credit and with a mortgage at over 2K a month as a single mother, I was running up debts surviving on credit to feed my soon.

I returned back to work recently earlier than my 12 week sick note after operation despite still having pain, still unable to fully hold my bowel and bladder and still needing a second surgery.

I say all this to say, yes, I’ve been off the ball with some things, not setting boundaries with GP in terms of sugar, half feeling I couldn’t say no because I was borrowing off said GM to survive.

Should have build up a serious nest egg but never imagined my partner would walk out on me for his mistress when pregnant and never imagined the health issues to hand.

my son won’t cooperate to do any extraction so needs gas and air sedation but chance even that won’t work.

he has had antibiotics 6 times in less than 3 months. NHS dentist referred to a community dentist but I was told on Monday when I chased its minimum 6 months waiting list in my area.

I went to see a private dentist and was charge £149 for the pleasure of them saying they can do the work but it’s going to cost upwards of 3K. Said they did interest free credit and I failed the check. I can not use anymore credit as I’ve exhausted all credit limits and borrowing a £50 here or there is different asking my mother for 3K and she herself doesn’t have that to give even though I know if she had it she would give it.

dentist once again prescribed antibiotics due to an active infection (only finished his last course of antibiotics on 4th Jan) and it looks like he gets an infection every week or 10 days after he finishes antibiotics.

long term this isn’t good because of antibiotic resistance, he is on max 24 hour dosage of calpol and nurofen in tandem with 2 hours break almost every week.

his behaviour has deteriorated- tantrums, doesn’t listen, crying about pain, wind and rain hurts this teeth and he collapses in a flood of tears. Wakes up 3 times a night due to said pain, never eats now.

is there any resource I can turn to, to speed up 6 month wait list because he is losing weight, behaviour is erratic, overly emotional, angry, in pain etc. Even licking things and developing a twitch on days his teeth are particularly troublesome.

can’t eat on one side because the teeth in question are molars on each side.

im completely desperate watching my son in pain, im not sleeping or eating and stressed out to the max myself which isn’t helping my recovery and i know its effecting my work and i seriously can’t afford to lose my job as it feeds my son and i and keeps a roof over our heads and trying to stay afloat with my credit card repayments etc.

I can’t do another six months of 3 months of hell and what’s worse is, dentist made a referral but apparently the form something was incorrect so wasn’t processed so only in December, days before Xmas the correct referral was accepted.

short of me robbing a bank or winning the lottery, I don’t know what to do, my poor son.

Ps: my ex partner / can’t/ won’t contribute and currently OOC

This is a 4.5 year old who is no longer eating.
Small child who needs urgent dental treatment under sedation due to his underlying condition.
Someone needs to get him the correct referral to nhs help.

In my region a 4.5 year old (precooperative for treatment) who had needed multiple courses of antibiotics for dental infection would be expedited for treatment. Ask your dentist to send in a 2nd referral requesting this. Unfortunately thats obviously area dependent.

In all likelihood is if it’s multiple teeth requiring extraction at that age it’ll be a GA not sedation.

Nhs dentist is free for children. Op does not need to pay she just needs the right referral

Who can get free NHS dental treatment or help with dental costs - NHS share.google/Q8uROpyoxNtYC32xa

My DS has learning difficulties and has needed significant dental treatment twice in his life. He won’t sit still and although initially referred to the sedation clinic, he’s ended up at the hospital under general anaesthetic. On both occasions, he has been referred by his dentist (one of them private practice) to the Community Dental team - 2 different dentists referred him to 2 different community dental teams. We’ve not had to pay anything.

Could you call your dentist and see if they can do an urgent referral to a dental hospital instead? Community dentists take forever but depending on your postcode some dental hospitals can see children quickly

Try a dental school or many NHS dentists although lists are full offer up a small number of appointments for patients in a lot of pain even if not their patients if that makes sense - ours usually post on Facebook so might be worth following a few local ones so you can jump in quickly. Failing that try 111 and they may be able to signpost you to a dentist at a NHS hospital

DD had 2 teeth extracted privately for her orthodontist work (not a popular option now bit the teeth where not really viable). She was 15 and awake sedation, she needed this as just fainted at the injections. It was no where near that expensive, probably around £800 if I remember correctly.

Note OP, even DD found it difficult to sit and cope with the sedation. I would think that a 4.5year old wouldn't cope with that even if they where NT. I would definitely see if you can wait for the NHS.

OMG you lovely ladies

I have gleaned so many useful things and thank you for the links too, I am figuring out how to multi quote but failed miserably so just want to say thank you.

I will definitely contact my doctors surgery due to his pre existing medical condition and see if they can get him seen urgently.

I’ll also ask the NHS dentist to refer urgently too, again.

I’ll ask for a hospital not community dental.

I just googled and we do have a dental hospital in my area and I saw they accept GP referrals so I’m hoping that’s my best route.

would never have known this if it wasn’t for you lovely ladies.

ill update this thread on Monday/Tuesday with an update.

one also had a quick call with my mother who said she will try see if she can apply for some credit if interest free at an absolute last resort if her credit score allows for it.

Please save the /your mum ££ for other things.

Your ds is entitled to free nhs dental / nhs sedation /dental hospital whatever he needs

Ask your dentist or even your GP for an urgent referral to a paediatric dentist. My son was struggling so much with even the dentist looking in his mouth and referred to a paediatric dentist. She was amazing and got him fully happy to have treatment done. It won't be immediate, but worth the wait if you can't go private.

Call 111

Completely agree with this. Not abroad. So many horror stories of infections etc from overseas crook dentists and then having to be corrected here.

Op s child will likely need ongoing dental care. Certainly he needs regular checks given his current issues.
She has no money.
She should utilise nhs
Get the referrals.

That's what I was thinking. There's a private dentist in our town (Fife, Scotland) doing specialist work and they treat children under the NHS - only "orthodontic exposures or extractions."

I know you feel guilty but please forgive yourself, you have been through so much and carrying a lot of guilt is debilitating in itself.
You are being hard on yourself when you're trying your best and love your son.

Children have extractions and fillings, it is part of life. You know now to use fluoride toothpaste.

Don't feel guilty or anxious over the odd sweet food and drink, as long as your brushing his teeth twice a day with a fluoride toothpaste.

The poor little guy.

Why haven't you used fluoride tooth paste cos of the cern about effects on the brain?

And why aren't GPS taking responsibility for loading him with sweets and not applying good oral hygiene?

Poor kid, he's frightened. Get him a book about having your teeth taken out. Read it to him. Talk to him about it. This might help him cone round to getting his teeth sorted cos antibiotics are not the best thing to give to a young child if you're worried about how things may generally affect development that is.

@DestituteDesperate if you can get to south east London my dentist was amazing and will do sedation but not general anaesthetic and are NHS. I think I waited around 3 weeks for my last extraction but that was partly because I had an active infection so had to wait for it to clear. I can usually get a same day emergency appointment.

My son had similar issues age 5 . Bad cavities, bits of tooth protruding from his gums . Our NHS dentist referred him to the hospital and they were removed under general anaesthetic

Thank you lovely ladies

a quick update, I saw my GP who said the referral to Kings Hospital needs to be done by a GDP, however, she said she would follow up with my sons NHS Dentist.

Dental practice called today asking for my son to come in next Tuesday. Then they’ll assess and she if they can bump up the referral to urgent.

I asked about time scale and they said it’ll be up to the people triaging the referrals - could be days, weeks or months.

however, they’ve told me speak to the dentist and I’ll have a better idea of practical timescale.

Very easily unfortunately!

My adult DD has severe learning difficulties and can only have treatment - or anything dental at all - with conscious sedation. Special Needs dental don't offer any sort of sedation believe it or not so our only recourse is private.

It's the sedation that costs. My daughter's costs around £800 each time purely for the sedation. Not too many dentists offer it nowadays and it always seems to be a sub contracted part time anaesthetist who can pretty much charge what they like, similar to a private medical consultant.
It costs around £1000 just for our DD to have a 6 monthly check up and clean. ☹️

We are fortunate in a way as the other local dentist to her, their anaesthetist charges £1500 just for the sedation. We are in the North Midlands so God knows what they charge in and around London.

I need to have an impacted wisdom tooth removed. I have insurance for my practice only. My chap doesn't remove teeth requiring a surgical extraction...

I've been referred to the NHS, but no idea what the waiting time is.

If I get it done under local anaesthetic at the Spire Edinburgh, it's £2.5 k. Whit?!

I think I can get it done locally for 700, but even so... I'll pay the 700 if I have to, but I admit to being peeved.

a positive update.

thanks to all the helpful information - my son is being treated under GA on Monday 9th at a hospital in London.

it would have been earlier but unfortunately he ended up in hospital again and had to finish a course of antibiotics so Friday it’ll finish and Monday they’ll operate.

thank you so much to everyone, this thread has been a godsend.

So pleased to hear this. Thank you for the update.

Due to his age it’s safer and medically advised to have sedation in a hospital setting. Do you have a dental hospital near you? You can go to their emergency clinic and hopefully that may speed up his referral.
Can the dentist prescribe a high fluoride toothpaste? That will also help protect his other teeth while you get a handle on things. Other option is if you know where he’s been referred to is ringing and asking for a cancellation appointment, he will be seen first and then put on a waiting list for treatment. It’s also worthwhile baring in mind that due to his age they may advise a general anaesthetic and doing both extractions in one go, it’s kinder and quicker for the child.
don’t let this experience put him off the dentist and remind him that his needs to brush really well twice a day (ideally if you can brush for him), regular check ups to make sure the other teeth are ok

My son has had two teeth extracted, a few silver caps and 1 filling.

we are just in recovery ward and must wait 2 hours before discharge. We were asked to attend at 7 and only just had him come back to the ward so a very long day but worthwhile. I was taken aback by ice cream being given but the dentist told me, relax and let him have it today.

my son teeth are being tested due to potentially not producing enough enamel, I think that’s just them dotting the i’s and crossing the ts as no fluoride and a high sugary diet was at play.

now i am doing my part and once he is given the go ahead to start brushing, i was told not today though, i will be staying on top of this, grandparents have been briefed and nursery setting where he attends a few days a week for half days since he became eligible for 30 hours, will not give any puddings etc and compensate with veggies and crackers.

thank you once again for the supportive and informative messages, i honestly was at breaking point and felt over whelmed to the point i was having some dark thoughts.

i now feel like the weight of the world has been lifted and my son is out of physical pain.

I also have an operation schedule in April so I can no go into that knowing my son is healthy.

you ladies are amazing.