Why is it when I smacked my children for running in the road, they have never done it again but when they got one for rudeness they carry on?

[NotABanana]

I really do not want to smack my children ever again. It is mean and unless it is a dangerous action there is no justification for it imo. Someone has told me today sometimes a smack is what is needed but tbh it doesn't work for mine as they carry on.
It is my youngest's birthday today and I feel so sad that the older two have already behaved appallingly. DS1 threw shoes at me this morning, just one thing he did.

Perhaps because when you smacked them for running in the road, you were frightened for their safety, and they noticed this, and that got the message into them that they musn't run in the road, rather then the actual smack iyswim.

because the smack for the road was warranted and serious

smacking for rudeness is a desperate last resort

kids aren't daft about this you know

NAB, At least you have the day with the other 2 at school.
And seeing as you are celebrating 3 years since giving birth a small glass of wine as the others come home from school might be ok today.

I agree that smacking doesn't work, I find ignoring the best thing, although I must say I am not the most even tempered so often shout and rant.

and try not to rise to their bait today

Agree, running in the road, it wasn't the smack that stopped them, it was seeing your fear and realising it was serious. Everything else, not so serious so will carry on regardless

Agree they probably saw and felt your fear and maybe are old enough to have had some awareness afterwards that running into the road was very stupid.

We have establisehd we have no consequences as they don't care enough about anything to be bothered if it is removed. We have tried explaining why they have had treats - day out, etc - why they have got it and it is because they did something really kind or behaved very well. Doesn't sink in. Whenever we try and explain about consequences they just say they aren't bothered.