Perfect co-parenting with SAHM

[vespersjack]

Being realistic - what is your idea of an ideal co-parenting set up when the mother ‘stays home’. What would an average week look like between two parents with a baby….

How would responsibilities be shared? What about night feeds, house work, baby admin etc.

How would the finances be shared and managed?

Very interested to hear people’s thoughts

When DH was working full time and I was a SAHM. I did all the above. He was working very hard so I could be SAHM so I was happy to take on all tasks even night feeds as he was driving alot and needed to sleep.

This is my current situation. SAHM to our 2 boys and my partner works. I do all the night feeds for the baby, he does get up with our toddler though but he very rarely if ever wakes up (maybe once a month). He only does this because I’m breastfeeding so if little one wakes up too it needs to be me.

Housework wise I cook everyday, meal plan, food shop, washing, drying clothes and putting away, hoover/mop and clean the bathroom and sides. He loads the dishwasher in the evening and sometimes we do bits together on the weekend like a full house clean.

‘Baby admin’ (love that 😂) I would say is mostly me. I arrange doctors appointments, vaccinations, take them to get weighed, get their feet measured. Keep track of who needs what clothes wise and activities/clubs, library books etc etc. We both share equally in actual caring of the babies though, each of us puts one to bed each night and we both do bath time and nappy changes.

Financially he is the main breadwinner but I do have side hustles and make a few hundred a month. We have a joint account where our money goes and we each have a separate ‘allowance’ for whatever we want that month. The rest goes into our bills and savings

For us -

DH worked 9-5ish plus short commute, obviously baby my responsibility in this time. On WFH days, DH would often take the baby for an hour or so in his lunch break.

Outside of working hours we shared everything equally including nights - DH doesn’t do a job involving any driving (or life saving!) and I needed sleep to function in the day as well.

All money paid into our joint account that we both have full access to, and my private pension topped up each month as well.

I've been a SAHM since our child was born.
I do all the housework, cooking, shopping, bills, finances, admin, organising visits with family, school runs.

My husband does bath time and bedtime. He also does a lot of activities with our son at weekends, does all the early wake ups and most DIY etc.

We fell into these roles based on our strengths really!

All finances completely joint. Very easygoing.