My lovely 18 mo has suddenly developed full-on sep anxiety...

[MrsThierryHenry]

...and has transformed overnight from a child who'd happily coo himself to sleep into a child who screams and cries for hours every time we put him to bed.

It's been going on for a week now and I don't know what to do! Tonight he screamed 'Mummy, Mummy, Daddy, Daddy' for nearly 2 hours and ended up so beside himself that he kept flinging himself around in our arms - it was all we could do to keep hold of him.

Eventually DH got him to sleep in the buggy. Should we use the buggy for the foreseeable future? I worked bloody hard months ago using the Baby Whisperer method to get him to sleep on his own, can't imagine having to do that again once he's through this phase.

During the day he is lovely as pie, great fun and developing well - the anxiety only shows when we take him to the CM or he has to go to sleep.

Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do that worked?

hi

I remember my ds going through the same kind of thing, it's very frustrating, isn't it? I knew that you'd be talking about a boy rather than a girl - my dd hasn't (so far) shown any signs of this!

Anyway, I can reassure that it is just a phase, and it will pass. You need to just keep to your routine as much as possible, I know how hard this is, but the more he sees that you won't waver too much due to his demands, the quicker it will pass.

When you drop him at the childminder, reassure him that you'll be back, kiss him, cuddle him, whatever you usually did, then leave. He'll be fine!

I totally remember how awful this is, but I think it's almost like a right of passage for them! Just stick to your guns, stay calm, stay loving - he's 'testing' you to some extent, I think, to check that you'll always be there.

dd is just 19 months, and has been in this phase (a very normal, healthy one!) for about a month. Sympathy, its not easy, and very wearing.

My own philosophy with my dds is to take a step back with them, when they go through any sort of regression themselves...if they need to be a teeny baby again, I go there with them, up to a point. Just enough to acknowledge their feelings - extra cuddles, lots of reassurance, an extra book or song before bed if she's jumpy, etc.

At the same time, I agree with sticking to routines as much as possible, very calmly and lovingly, so they know that I know that its ok, its 'just' feelings, this too shall pass, and all is well.

But yes, you might hvae to go back to tried and tested method such as Baby Whisperer, for a short time - it'll reassure him, its familiar to both of you. I had about a week of having to go back in, soothe, put down, soothe, put down etc at bed time. On one or two occasions I let her half go to sleep in my arms then put her down and stood by cot patting her back. It didnt' last long, and once she felt better she let me go again - it'll pass I promise

Thanks so much for your reassurance! I've decided to sit in his room while he falls asleep - it's so sweet as he pays close attention while I explain what I'm doing and then he's happy to go into his cot. In a few days' time I'll start moving closer to the door and hopefully after not too long he'll let us go back to the usual old method.

I agree about going back a step - it must be such a confusing time for them. Interestingly, whenever he asks for a cuddle (about 10 times a day!) I either give him one immediately or if it's not convenient I'll ask him to wait while I finish what I'm doing. I've found that when he gets the cuddle he's almost always satisfied. If he ever asks for more it's just once. It's definitely not a case of him 'controlling' me as some people might say, by asking again and again. This just reminds me that his need is genuine and that it's important that I respond to that need.

Before I know it I'm sure he'll be running off to play with his friends and I'll be longing for these days!

Good for you, MrsTH

I'm glad your LO is getting his cuddles, he'll be out into the world that much the more secure for them IMO.

ps you're not really MrsTH, are you?

Thanks so much for your lovely thoughts, Elibean! You can never give them too much love and cuddles, can you?!

Re your Mrs TH comment, mwa hahaharr!

Yes I am!

Okay, okay, I'm not. But my real-life DH is so lovely that I wouldn't want to be [great big cheesy grin emoticon!!]

(wouldn't say no to a snog with him, though )