I need help!!

[StaceyDennison]

Hello.. This is my last resort. Im a mum of 2 boys. (8 and 3) we have recently moved house to Bolton (moved Sept 3rd) and my son had to move schools. My 8 year old is really struggling with this, hes completely lost himself. we moved here to be closer to family and better schools, we used to live in rochdale. this is where my boys were born. Jacob (8) has all his friends from nursery there, hes really struggling to feel safe at this school and he doesnt feel like our new home is home yet. all this strange things started to happen with him after the move, like weird habits or tics, he would need to touch the floor constanlty, touch the person next to you stick the middle finger up but not mean too.. all come right out the blue! he is so angry! everything and anything hes so so resentful and moody and angry, flies off the handle if he hears something he doesn't like. ive taken him to the doc who mentioned ADHD and so did his teacher and is now on the waiting list for 14 months for an assessment. personally i dont think its ADHD as i said previous its come out of the blue completely. he never used to have habits and anger like this before the move. none of his teachers ever ever mentioned anything reg ADHD, i feel like this would of been there before but it wasn't. he used to be able to play outside in our old house with his bike and all his friends lived on the street so he was so happy now he cant do this as he doesn't know the area and plus we dont know where any of his friends live, plus the time of year, dark nights and awful weather are not helping the situation. i dont even know why im writing all this, i just know im fully struggling and i know my son is struggling. my 3 year old is copying words and acts that Jacob is doing like saying hateful things and shouting and saying no. i dont want my 3 year old to copy him! Jacob has played football ever since he was born, he was in a team in Bolton as was thriving, his life was football. since we have moved and these habits have effected him we have had to bring him out the team. he cannot do a game without touching the floor around 150 times. he cant run as fast, he cant kick a ball as hard as he used to. its all really weird. i just want to talk to someone i dont know. ive tried so many things but its so hard when hes so negative every single day. i know we have only been in the house since sept but im worried im going to loose my boy too all this hate and its going to go too far. hes such a beautiful boy and always been so happy and so loving but now everything is an issue to him. Anyway, i hope someone has the time to read this, i really need some kind of support in the form of someone who is not under 10 haha! Thank you for listening xx

If you think it’s been a sudden change, has PANDAS been ruled out?

No mention of it. its only happened since we moved house and school. doctors haven't mentioned it neither has school.

It certainly sounds as though your son is feeling unsettled by the move. That's to be expected, but I'm wondering what's going on for him with the touching the floor etc? Has he tried to explain to you why he does it? Sorry to hear you're having such a tough time. I moved around a lot as a kid and it can be really difficult to settle and feel safe. You sound like a lovely, caring Mum and I think in your shoes I'd be asking for some professional support with my son. Hopefully others will be along to make some helpful suggestions.

One last thing - your user name and using your son's name on this post might mean you're identifiable. Maybe report your own post to Mumsnet and ask them to edit those details out. Best of luck x

Oh? I didn’t know I needed to hide my identity haha? And I have spoke to him he says his head he brain tells him to touch the floor. I’ve been to the doctors who mentioned mild adhd but it’s annoying becsyee it’s a brand new docs so they don’t know him like my old doctors did. They would know this isn’t somthing that’s always been there: your right he said he doesn’t feel safe and this isn’t home to him yet. I think mostly it’s the anger and the negative moody attitude to life that’s most concerning. The doctors said they can’t do much without school backing it up which the school are and we have filled all the forms out for an assessment but I feel like I’m wasting my time with that… I want my happy boy back. Today I arranged a meet up with all his old mates which he’s excited about and I also finally got added into a year 4 WhatsApp group for my sons class so I have asked about his friends on there and I’ve arrange a get together tomorrow so he’s happy about that too. It’s so hard at the minute. I hate that he’s like a shell of who he used to be :(

@StaceyDennison you don’t have to hide your ID, but many people like to so they can’t be recognised by friends, other school parents etc.

More that know I need help maybe the better haha… advice is always welcome. I’m not ashamed to say I’m struggling and asking for help. I changed my username yesterday as I thought you weren’t aloud to use your real name but it doesn’t seem to have changed on this post lol.

If you change your username it will remain the same on any existing threads you’re on.

You can report for first post of tou like and ask @MNHQto take out any identifying information, like your full name

This sounds like OCD .... definitely need to talk with doc re these repetitive behaviours.

I have spoken to the doctors and they said they don’t really go forward with things like this without school. But school have put him forward to an assessment which I don’t think he needs. I might go back to the docs and see what else they say. Thank you.

Is he being assessed for ASD, OCD and ADHD? It does sound like an assessment may be useful. If he doesn’t have those things then he won’t get a diagnosis afterall.

It might be useful to speak to the School Nurse Service about how to deal with his OCD symptoms and anxiety.

Whether he’s ND or not, it does sound as though he needs some support in school. Have you applied for an EHP assessment yet?