How much freedom does your 10yr old have ???

[IllegallyBrunette]

Wrt to going out alone, staying in house alone, walking to school, things like that ?? Oh chosing clothes too.

er,ds has v little if I think about it He does choose clothes though

dd chooses clothes

she meets friends on the estate and they go to park/ shop...

i take her to school as i like to know she has got there before i go to work... she walks home with her friends though

she is 11 this year

Thanks

I am really struggling with Dd1 at the mo, and i'm debating wether giving her more freedom might improve things and I know she feels I am being unfair in several ways.

Obviously though the freedom would be conditional on her behaviour.

My dd is 9 and walks to school on her own, walks home from school on her own, plays out with her friends around the corner, goes to clairs accessories from the coffee shop in the center on her own with a phone on her, posts letters at the post box around another corner, goes to the shop and uses the pelican crossing on the way.

I take her and a friend swimming and sit in the gallery and I used to do the same type of thing for the big park - take her to the park and go armed with a book and rug (so i could sit and read) then she could go and play in the play area without me hovering but near enough if she needed me - this was when she was 7/8 years old.

I was planning on letting dd1 walk to and from school when she starts yr 6 in Sept. She will be nearly 11 by then, and will more than likely walk with a lad from her class.

She also wants to be allowed to 'play out' and this is where I am struggling to decide.

We have a play area and large grass area less than 5 min walk from our house, although I can't actually see it from here. I would like to be able to let her call for a friend and go and play there, but I know that some of the people that might also be out playing might lead dd1 astray a bit.

I do trust her, but peer pressure is a big thing and I don't know how well she stand up for what she really thought was right.

DS1 walks back from school on his own, stays in the house alone if I need to pop out for 10-20 mins, mostly has power of veto over his clothes except for church and special occasions. I still vet his reading and watching material though. I do let him go to the leisure centre with friends but not yet walk into town on his own, although he pops to our local playground by himself.

He is a very responsible (just) 10 though, and pretty sensible so I don't have a problem with his attitude, only with outside dangers.

DD 10 (11 September) goes to school by herself, goes to the sport centre with BF to use the gym. Stays in the house by herself up to about half an hour.
She also chooses her clothes.

The ones of you who let them go to places like lesuire centres, pictures etc, do you drive them there, or do they go on the bus, walk ??

See I don't drive, so for dd1 to be able to go anywhere like that she'd have to get the bus. Not sure she is old enough for that.

My recently 11 year old goes swimming on her own with friends, goes to the cinema with her friends without an adult, goes into town nearby mooching iwth friends on her own, will be dropped off in nearby bigger town (quite a big town) on her own with friends to go shopping - will be picked up 2 or 3 hours later. She'll buy her own clothes if she has the money adn fancies something. Plays in park with friends in summer until about 8 (park about a mile/mile and a half away)

I (or other parent)drive her to cinema but she can walk to pool. I think from Sept I might find out about buses for her

See I would have no problems at all with the cinema, etc if I could get her there and pick her up, but I can't.

Still undecided about park/play area, as although it is so close by, I don't want her to be seen to be hangin around the streets iyswim.

Argh, why did on one tell me it was this hard to loosen the reins a bit.

DD walks to leisure centre with her BF. Cinema is too far away so haven't let her or DS 12 go by themselves yet.

DD will be most likely going to secondary school Sept 2009 with big brother by train, so needs to be fairly independent before then .

Can I also ask, how mych pocket money your ten yr olds get ??

If the area is designated play area then she will be in the play area surely playing and chilling with her mates - i would think. Dc like to spend time with their friends and play it is social - keeping her in will possibly result in her bolting when you do let her out.

Is she not responsable? Have you let her out to play beofre and she did something bad?

Have never successfully established pocket money; I'm not organised enough. I give her money for swimming, money for cinema and money for buying lunch if she's out on Sat. She's suggesting £5 per week atm which would be a deal for me!

My dd of 9 gets £6 per month straight into her own nationwide account - her own signature (not mine) to withdraw money. Her grandfather also puts money into the account monthly £5 so a total of £11 to spend on what she wants.

My 9yo DS gets £2 a week. we were thinking of putting it up to £3 at the start of yr5

my dd gets £3.00 a week

dd should get £3, but she has had riding lessons recently, which are expensive so she has gone without.

DD1 has been to the shop once with her mate whos 9, dd1 is 11. She is not good with roads, she walked in front of a car that was indicating towards her. I think because it had stopped she thought...ahh its ok to go, but really she SHOULD have stopped. She didnt look at the driver to get waved across or anything.
If we go out she wanders further ahead out of sight.
I dont leave them, them being her and dd2 whos 7 for longer than maximum 10 minutes at home in case they kill each other in my absence.
If she would stay by herself id leave her for an hour, but I dont think she would TBH.
Money they get a pound on Sundays but loads of stuff from XP.
Clothes I still choose. though she wont anything she doesnt like.

No I do think she is responsible enough, but do also feel that she could be persuaded to be irresponsible by others iyswim. Although obviously if she were caught doing something i'd asked her not to then she wouldn't be allowed out again for a while.

What happens in winter?, as she'd not be allowed out after dark.

I do need to startt giving her poc ket money I think, but she is awful with money, either loses it or spends it on chewing gum.

I am a bit unorganised for pocket money.

Might see if she can have her own account at my bank, that way I could just pay it straight in.

DS1 (11 tomorrow) has just started to stay at home for the odd 3/4 hour to an hour on his own whilst I pop for a coffee to a neighbours or nip to the garden centre or supermarket.

He goes to school by himself (has done since spring of Yr4). He will be catching the school bus in September to secondary school.

We will in a village so if he wanted to go to the leisure centre, I would have to drop him off and pick him up.

He goes and calls on his friends around the village. I have stopped asking what time he will be back now as he has his phone and usually pops back now and again of his own accord.

He does not get pocket money. He has guitar lessons at £10 a week. He does not go short of other things.

He chooses his own clothes - god forbid if I got the wrong thing. We went through last years summer clothes to see if they still fit - they were from GAP and Next - what a difference a year makes (they still fit him) but he is now into Vans, Animal and the like and he asked if he still had to wear his old t/shirts

we will - we live