Kids Party - 4 year old - at Nursery

[ChildrenAreTheFuture]

Kids party. Money isn’t a factor.

Do you invite whole class of 25 kids or just select friends?

We are having it at a soft play centre.

Exclusive use is 20 kids. Otherwise party while others play.

Anyone wiser than me have any birthday 🎁 tips?

It doesn’t really matter. At that age, it tends to be more for socialising with parents still. If money is no object, I’d invite them all. Why not? But if you have a little friend group of 5 and you know all the parents, then just inviting them is fine.

If your aim is exclusive hire (meaning you need a minimum of 20), you will likely end up paying the minimum but having fewer. If you invite 24 at nursery age when parents don’t really know each other well, I’d expect 15-18.

I would invite them all. It’s young to pick a smaller group of good friends as they tend to change who they play with day by day and will get upset if they find out they’ve been left out. You probably won’t get more than 20 actually coming so would likely be fine to go for exclusive hire but just in case more can come can you not go over 20 kids for an extra charge per head?

If you invite them all, that’s 25 new toys in the house to find space for. Fuck that. 😂

At 3, I invited them all, but by 4, I knew who my DS's friends were and who he actually played with vs who he said he liked. Like a PP, I also didn't want 25 new toys, especially not from people whose parents didn't know him well. Choosing fewer friends also meant we could include their siblings.

@Kibble19 - I have twins….. 50 new toys. 🤬🤯🤬🤯🤬🤯

The only childcare setting they’ve been in - since Sept - so I have specific names - likely 8 between the twins, but just wanted to consider whether it’s better to be expansive now. We all move to primary school in Sept so not everyone will make same move.

Yes I am sure we can go over. That should be fine.

I think we’d prefer exclusive use - so I’m not having to check who needs fed or whatever and not identifying every child who is at the event.

I think if not everyone from the nursery is moving to the same school anyway, you don't really need to be thinking in too much detail about your children's future friendships, so just invite the ones you know they like. Even if you pay for the exclusive use but don't fill it, it'll be more expensive per head, but not more expensive for the whole party, because you won't have to do as many party bags and you will have a smaller cake. I also find the smaller soft play parties are more chilled out and generally pleasanter.

Anyone have precise wording to stop the toy avalanche? I’d heard about fiver parties in Australia….

I genuinely don’t want presents - they are happy enough and have all they need. They were overwhelmed with three presents at Christmas.

“Your presence is the only present we need! Should you strongly wish to give something, a £5 note would be wonderful to help the twins save for something special.”

Thank you all - I appreciate it

Just invite them all, no way will all of them turn up. I invited all my son’s preschool class at that age and only THREE children came. If you don’t want 50 presents just state on the invite no gifts please!

Ok - I think we can pay for 20 so we have exclusive use of venue.

Invite the 8 confirmed friends. I know there are about 3 friend siblings we could invite to make easier for parents.

With twins and their sibling that’s 14. Leaves room for a couple of cousins / other additions?

Ha ha (nervous laughter) to whoever suggested party bags. Not going there…..

Will do catered food and two cakes.

Did you have contact details or just leave in invites with nursery school / pre school teacher?

You'll probably get away with no party bags at age 4, but older, party-experienced children would be outraged. Like the time DS went to a party and the parents didn't realise that it's the party child who gets to eat Colin the Caterpillar's face.

Kids love the party bags. It’s also a handy signal for everyone to clear out. Skip at your peril.

Ok - if I need party bags I’m only inviting one friend each 🤪.

It’s like the present thing - surely all those parents don’t want some tat back from a party?

Mumsnet - you are helping me big time here. Thank you.

“Your presence is the only present we need! Should you strongly wish to give something, a £5 note would be wonderful to help the twins save for something special.”

Don’t say this!! The first bit sounds like a cheesy wedding invite, and the second makes it sound like you’re actively asking them for a specific amount of money!! Just say no presents please (they know you have twins and how overwhelming lots of presents will be), and if you get any just stick them to the side and give them to a charity shop.

Just left invites with the pre school, with it being a preschool rather than a nursery we all picked our children up at 3:15 and saw them handing them out at the door .

Party bags don’t have to be tat. A piece of cake, a book, etc. Although most of the children I know love a small bouncy ball!!

Kids will expect a party bag, a slice of cake and small bag of Haribo and a balloon

Oh god, don't give them a bouncy ball. You could get away with handing out a mini squishmallow to each child instead of a bag.

Yes you should do a party bag. At this age, standard in my area is a book (£10 for ten books at works, or split up a box set from one of the cheap online booksellers) plus a piece of cake and something fun (party blower or maybe a stretchy jelly animal or whatever).

Invite as many or as few as you like - at this age don’t think it matters.

Everyone says invite whole class but for sure I didn’t attend 32 kids parties last year!

As far as party bags at 4 it’s easy - tub of bubbles, mini colouring/puzzle book, mini pack of colouring pencils, cake. Asda or Tesco have party bag sections in their larger stores where you can buy what you need.

I went to a fifth birthday recently and the invite said no presents please but we are collecting for the food bank (food or cash)

I would invite them all. I would want exclusive hire, and I wouldn’t invite 20 and leave out 5, so I’d invite everyone. The window for whole-class parties is pretty short, by Y2 your child probably won’t want everyone, so at 4 I would be inclusive. It’s nice for kids to have a few memories of really big birthday parties, my kids speak very fondly of theirs…and whole-class parties are great for fostering the general bond between classmates as well as your own child’s social relationships.

I’m a bit confused. If you do exclusive use it’s max 20? Have I got that right? So to invite everyone, it’s not exclusive use?