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Parenting

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Dating and teenagers

9 replies

bluedabadeedabadoo · 11/01/2026 15:11

So I’m currently dating. I have been since July and have dated three people, none of which has turned serious. My last date is now FWB. I have a 14 YO son whom I’m main parent for. He sees his dad but we aren’t shared care so he’s with me most of the time.
I haven’t shared with my son that I’m dating and I would only want to if something turned serious which as it stands hasn’t. The problem is, my son has become aware something is going on and keeps saying I have a boyfriend which I’m hiding (which isnt strictly true). His main theory was in December when I opened WhatsApp in front of him, the message I had sent to my date was still open so he saw a message to someone with my dates name. He hasn’t mentioned this until now. In addition to noticicing that I have locked chats on WhatsApp and that I turn my location 360 off sometimes, this is what he is basing his theory on. It seems that his dad is playing into it and putting things in his head that aren’t there, such as when he came home early the other morning after being at his dads, he and his dad noticed that my car was defrosted so thought I’d been out all night and returned before he came home! This is ludicrous as I had been home all night!
Im not sure what to do. It’s causing friction as he knows im lying and obviously I tell him off for lying but I don’t feel like I can tell him the truth. How would others handle this?
Also FWIW I only see my dates when my sons at his dads.

OP posts:
PoppingCornS · 11/01/2026 16:10

Well I wouldn’t be discussing my sex life with my teenager and I’d be mortified if my mum did with me! Why is he going through your phone to know you’ve locked WhatsApp messages?

bluedabadeedabadoo · 11/01/2026 16:13

I don’t think he has. I think he just knows because of how the messages show up, as in they are just the green icon and and no photo and name.

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Mumof1andacat · 11/01/2026 16:23

I think you need to be honest with him. He's knows something is happening and I think you owe him some explanation.

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MiddleAgedDread · 11/01/2026 16:29

He’s 14, he’s not stupid, just tell him you’ve been on a date, he doesn’t need to know the details of your sex life.

bluedabadeedabadoo · 11/01/2026 16:37

But it’s ongoing and not just ‘one date’. But it’s not going anywhere so I’m not sure what to say. It isn’t a relationship so I can’t say that, but don’t really want to say that I’m dating someone (as in I definitely) as I don’t want him to think it is going somewhere.

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whatwouldlilacerullodo · 11/01/2026 16:38

You can tell him that sometimes you go on dates and see people, that you don't have a boyfriend or anything serious going on, and that you don't have to provide him with details of what you do as this is the private life of an adult. That would be respectful to him, and would also set the boundaries clear.

EatYourDamnPie · 11/01/2026 16:42

bluedabadeedabadoo · 11/01/2026 16:37

But it’s ongoing and not just ‘one date’. But it’s not going anywhere so I’m not sure what to say. It isn’t a relationship so I can’t say that, but don’t really want to say that I’m dating someone (as in I definitely) as I don’t want him to think it is going somewhere.

It’s really not that deep. Just say yes you are dating, but it’s early days which is why you haven’t said anything.

bluedabadeedabadoo · 11/01/2026 16:43

whatwouldlilacerullodo · 11/01/2026 16:38

You can tell him that sometimes you go on dates and see people, that you don't have a boyfriend or anything serious going on, and that you don't have to provide him with details of what you do as this is the private life of an adult. That would be respectful to him, and would also set the boundaries clear.

That’s what I was thinking.

OP posts:
whatwouldlilacerullodo · 13/01/2026 01:18

bluedabadeedabadoo · 11/01/2026 16:43

That’s what I was thinking.

I do that with my kids, who are 15 and 13. They know I date people, no more details.

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