Struggling with siblings together - is this a phase?

[CJC43]

Struggling a lot with my kids and feeling pretty low about it. DD is 7.5, DS nearly 5. Together they are relentless – constant bickering, noise, power struggles and competing needs. I cope much better one to one but find them together overwhelming, especially when I’m solo parenting which is most nights.

I love them but don’t enjoy this stage at all and feel guilty admitting that. I’m exhausted, snappy and feel like I’m just managing behaviour all day rather than enjoying them.

Is this a common phase with these ages? Any reassurance or practical tips welcome.

Sounds normal for some. Can you get them playing in separate rooms? Encourage them to play in their bedrooms.

Yes it can be a normal phase. However, 2 of mine clash (older daughter which is 1,5 years than her brother but ASD in the mix so not as easy) and always have for many years 7 years plus. Any combo of the other children always fine or add another sibling to those 2 and it’s ok 🤣

So it depends …..

I’d concentrate on the older daughter she could be the helpful one. Or you could set her off colouring, dot to dot, drawing etc. and spend more time on the younger one

Yes totally normal - I have 5 year old twins and an 8 year old and am a 100% solo parent. There are days when I almost detest my life but then I pick myself up and repeat tomorrow is another day and try again. No practical tips as I feel like I’ve just had to get through this stage and survive it as really nothing had seemed to work - eldest is getting older and that does seem to have settled a lot of the bickering and allowing/finding her space from her siblings - I moved her into the bigger room, renovated it and got her a TV recently (previously only had 1 tv in the lounge for all of us) and things have definitely calmed in recent weeks (just wish I could have some space now!)

Yes. I remember it being awful at that stage. But for mine it changed when the younger one went to secondary school and had to do homework. DS was very helpful and they bonded.

I have 17 months between my eldest and twins. When they were young it could be horrific and the 2 boys couldn't be in the same room together (yet have to share a bedroom). There were years when I couldn't leave them alone in the same room. If I went to make a drink all hell would break loose. I couldn't ever imagine a time when it would get bearable nevermind easy. But whilst the boys are never going to be the best if friends as they have matured it has got easier. I can leave the kids at home and go to the shops (or work!) and they can spend time sharing the same space without wanting to kill each other. Time and maturity is what it takes, and them learning to walk away from each other.
Mine are 14 boy, 13 girl and boy now and mostly things are pretty calm and (almost) chilled.