*thoughts* unemployed ex boyfriend only has his kids 6 nights a month

[strongmamaxo]

So my ex 31, is unemployed and lives with his mum only had his kids 6 nights a month. It used to be 8 but he cut it down temporarily for 6 weeks because of new meds (it’s now been 1 year LOL) and on those nights he cuts down he literally goes out drinking or slips up in conversation. I don’t even argue it anymore because he’s a narcissist and gaslighter so it’s not worth my mental health anymore. We have 2 kids.

Thoughts? He’s a complete waste of space. Why did you have two kids with him?

That's been my setup for the last 12 years - although my ex did get a job about 5 years in, obviously doesn't pay maintenance though 🙄

Like you, I gave up trying to make him a better father - and whilst my DC (I also have two) do have a relationship with him, it is very strained with my eldest.

I know in years to come, I'll be blamed for this but I don't care anymore - my two are teenagers now so I have very little to do with him other than supporting my DC in dealing with his shitness. Solidarity!

What thoughts are you after? Are they safe there? Is his mum doing all the care? How old are? He sounds like a waste of space so I’d consider if those 6 days are a good thing or a bad thing for them.

He is going to miss out in the long run - missing out on spending quality time with his children so he can go out drinking. Not a mature man, but a man-child.

My thoughts are I wish my ex would have our kids 6 nights a month

My unemployed ex has a 50:50 court order that cost me a fortune and years of stress to defend (he wanted 100%) ... and he does two nights a month, if that. And pays £6 maintenance.

@daffodilandtulipis that what the court put in place? As I’m curious how that’s 50/50 if they go 2 nights a month x

I think courts have ordered that the poster makes her children available for 50% of the month but dad is only showing up for 2 days a month. So he wasted everyone’s time

Op 6 nights a month sounds like every other weekend full weekends, that’s quite common and what lots of mums would prefer rather than going to dads midweek so the children have a more consistent routine

So children have a useless father yet are stuck with him as their father for ever now, so if he is that bad why on earth would you want him to spend more time with them?

Poor children

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