Tantrums escalating again

[ToddlerTornado]

DS (almost 3) has always been a tantrum child, as his speech has improved (he has speech delay) he has become better with reduced tantrums. We had a lovely tantrum free holiday in December and then great behaviour for most of the month.

In the last couple of weeks he is back to tantrums, wanting his own way 24/7. Every single night we have screaming meltdowns because he doesn't want to get out of the bath and it stems from there , 30 mins of meltdown and refusing to get pjs on . Its awful.

any advice? 😫

Stop baths for 3 nights. When he asks for one, remind him they are a cause of problems and not worth it. He can have 2 more books instead.
Then, 3 nights later, have a chat and a pact saying you are going to try it and use a kitchen timer. When timer rings, he gets out. If he doesnt’ , you just empty bath and this time , no bath for a week.

Is he getting any support through SaLT and had he had a hearing test?

As for the bath, could he be overtired? What time is he getting into the bath and what time is he being put into bed?

He has been referred for speech therapy, no mention of any hearing tests.

In that case i would ask the HV for a referral for a hearing test. She should have done both at the same time as the SaLT will want Glue Ear to have been ruled out.

As PP says, use timers and oral prompts. ”in ten minutes it’s time to get out, in five minutes, in one minute.” That way he knows it’s coming.

This can be used for anything, putting shoes on before you go out, before tidying up toys etc.

as pp have said above tell him how long he has left, plus disconnect the plug chain and remove the plug to another room so the water runs away and he is bored and wants out himself.

’lose’ the plug and switch to showers for a while?

Can you warm the pjs on a radiator or with a hairdryer?

The key is to manage your mental state before managing his - as you are terrified of his tantrums (rightly so!) you are already tensing while entering a very familiar territory. When you are calmer, it will be easier for you to manage the situation without the power struggle. As a parenting coach I often see how changing one small thing can switch the whole dynamics.