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Parenting

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People being nasty about my autistic child

9 replies

MushroomsAreNice · 09/01/2026 12:59

I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m struggling to take my autistic child out alone anymore. She stims a lot which involves running up and down and shouting things out. This was fine when she was little people didn’t really say anything as probably just thought it was typical age related but now she’s older it’s causing a lot of problems with people being rude to us. I’ve tried to stop her but she will either shout louder or try to run away from me if I attempt to stop it. Today was awful. We were at the bus stop on our way home and she was stimming as usual. I heard two people talking. They were making comments about my daughter racist comments. (My daughter is mixed race) and one of them said id hate to live with THAT! I defended my daughter and took some pictures of them and then took her away and left the bus stop but im really upset that this happened. The whole bus stop was staring at us like we were the problem probably because they see my daughter as just a naughty child. My daughter didn’t want to leave the bus stop so I’m sure they were judging that as well but the way everyone was just staring at us was awful. I no longer feel safe or confident taking her out alone (this isn’t the first time we’ve experienced abuse this is just the first time there was a racial element) any advice on how I can stop her running up and down and shouting things out? This is only going to continue to attract negativity, I took her to another bus stop and tried to keep her away from people but it’s difficult as she will not listen to me and doesn’t understand. I have a GP appointment today so I’m going to mention it there. But any advice in the meantime as I really don’t feel confident taking her out anymore

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Whizzingwhippet · 09/01/2026 13:04

How old is she? Can you physically manage her out and about or is that becoming an issue? Does she get in other people's faces or just carry on doing her own thing? If she's just stimming and not bothering people then screw them all.

This all sounds really tough. Unfortunately you've encountered a couple of racist dickheads there who would've been horrible people regardless of what your daughter was doing.

Needmorelego · 09/01/2026 13:06

How old is she?
If she's a runner could you use one of those arm reigns things?
They are usually for toddlers but you can get ones designed for older children with disabilities.
Or one of the type of pushchairs that are for older children with disabilities.
Supermarkets usually have a trolley that has a special seat for older children with disabilities that you can use (you sometimes have to ask for it to be brought out to you because they don't want those that don't need it just deciding to use it).
As for people saying things.
Just ignore it the best you can or don't be afraid to use the words "f off and mind your own business".
💐

MushroomsAreNice · 09/01/2026 13:08

No she was not in their faces if she was I would have asked her to come away. They were at the shelter. She just draws lots of attention where she shouts things out, she also likes to run up and down or spin. She is 14 unfortunately wrist straps won’t work she is faster and stronger than me now don’t think I’d safely be able to use one.

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Clutterbug2026 · 09/01/2026 13:09

She needs to stim and as long as she is going it in a safe way she should be left to do it. Is her behaviour safe? Have you tried wearing sunflower lanyards?

I wouldn’t be taking photos of poeple or even starting conversation with them. Just get on with your own life.

Needmorelego · 09/01/2026 13:12

If the running is dangerous (ie potentially going into the road) you might have to use a wheelchair for her.
As for the stimming - let her. If other people don't like it then too bad. That's their problem. Not yours.

MushroomsAreNice · 09/01/2026 13:18

Clutterbug2026 · 09/01/2026 13:09

She needs to stim and as long as she is going it in a safe way she should be left to do it. Is her behaviour safe? Have you tried wearing sunflower lanyards?

I wouldn’t be taking photos of poeple or even starting conversation with them. Just get on with your own life.

They were racially abusing my child not sure if you missed that bit. I may report this and still considering it so i took pictures for evidence which is allowed. In fact i will be reporting it.

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MushroomsAreNice · 09/01/2026 13:19

Needmorelego · 09/01/2026 13:12

If the running is dangerous (ie potentially going into the road) you might have to use a wheelchair for her.
As for the stimming - let her. If other people don't like it then too bad. That's their problem. Not yours.

She was not running into roads just up and down on the pavement.

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Clutterbug2026 · 09/01/2026 13:45

MushroomsAreNice · 09/01/2026 13:18

They were racially abusing my child not sure if you missed that bit. I may report this and still considering it so i took pictures for evidence which is allowed. In fact i will be reporting it.

Edited

That’s your choice. You said you didn’t feel safe so I told what I would do in that situation to keep myself safe.

MushroomsAreNice · 09/01/2026 14:23

Fair enough, I took the picture as I was walking away, I don’t feel safe going forward as it’s only going to get worse as she gets older. Hopefully the GP is able to help.

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