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Parenting

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3.5yo suddenly sleeping badly – could this be separation anxiety?

4 replies

TheCaretakerNadine · 06/01/2026 02:14

Hey all

Looking for some perspective and experiences please.

DS1 will be 4 in March and has recently started having really disrupted sleep. He goes to bed fine, but wakes frequently in the night calling for me, very anxious and scared, and struggles to settle. On these cold nights where I am knackered, I end up bringing him into our bed, frustrated with him, myself and the sleep gods.

I wanna mention his sleep has been solid for the past year- between 0-2 nightwakes where id go into his room, retuck and leave. Worked a charm and we worked hard to get to that stage so this is frustrating but I know he has potential in him to sleep as before

What’s made me wonder if this is separation anxiety is that since mid December, he has been crying and upset at nursery drop offs. One day when DH dropped him off, he cried so much tbat DH bought him straight back home! He’s been going to nursery since age 1 and we have never had tears! Also, the staff have said he is upset up and down throughout the day which is unlike him.

Nothing major has changed at home, but he is very attached to me generally and seems more emotionally sensitive at the moment. Nights feel especially hard for him, almost like he needs to know I’m close.

Has anyone experienced a phase like this around this age?
Did it turn out to be separation anxiety, developmental, or something else?
And if so, did anything help – or was it just time?
Would really appreciate hearing others’ experiences. Thank you.

OP posts:
TheCaretakerNadine · 06/01/2026 20:37

Bump!!!

OP posts:
Poodleeatingnoodle · 06/01/2026 20:58

Could it be night terrors? My 3 year old is definitely having them. Only really recently and he's been a good solid sleeper since about 18 months. I'm not out the other end though so no advice sorry.

MrsT84 · 06/01/2026 21:03

My daughter is 4 in April and we are going through a change in sleep pattern too - she has started taking an hour to settle and when she wakes in the night she only wants me - after months of accepting hubby! One thing that has been working this past couple of nights is keeping some "monster spray" on her bedside table, to scare the monsters away- its just lavender pillow mist! Im hoping it will improve again soon as once I am awake I really struggle to get back to sleep, unlike my hubby who is snoring as soon as his head hits the pillow!

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mindutopia · 06/01/2026 21:21

They do go through phases like this. It’s not so much separation anxiety (that is quite a distinct developmental phase), but when big changes happen, they need you more. There’s a lot of development going on right now. I’d make like easy for you and him and just bring him to bed from the start. He will absolutely settle back into sleeping independently again, but I’d go with it now until things get easier.

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