Tearing my hair out with potty training

[SaltySpitoon]

Hi all. DS is 3.5 and we have been trying to potty train him on and off for about six months now. DH and I decided to use the week we had off work over Christmas to finally crack it.

Well, we're back at work tomorrow (and DS is back at nursery) and yet we aren't any further forward. We have had a few wees on the potty (and we always shower him with praise and reward him with chocolate or a toy when he does), but there's been far more wees on the floor/on the sofa. We did try him in pants but he treated them like nappies and would constantly wee in them so we have had him naked from the waist down instead. He does do a little better like that but still has quite a few accidents.

He will hold himself/act like he needs to go, we will either guide him to the potty/toilet or will bring the potty to him. Occasionally he will sit on it and wee but more often he will run off and then wee on the floor. We constantly ask him if he needs a wee/the potty and he always says no, but will then wee on the floor a minute later!

Poos are a no-go, he always waits until we put a pull up on him ready to take him to bed, and then he'll poo.

I don't know if this is simply him being stubborn, or if he's genuinely not ready. He does have a speech delay for which he's under SALT, I don't know if this might be contributing.

I should say that we do have an older DD who was a breeze to potty train, literally within a week she was fully trained day and night, and she was younger than DS is now. I know all kids are different but it is a little disheartening. I try not to get frustrated/stressed about it as I know that won't help, but I admit I have gotten stressed/cross, particularly when I'm cleaning up yet another accident! I'm at my wits end and feel like I'm failing. 😞

Every child is different. I just potty trained my 20 month old. The only things I would consider: bare bum before pants.

DD was weeing immediately after saying she didn't need to go, now our conversations with DD go like this...
Do you need a wee?
...No
Do you want to try?
...Yes (if she needs a wee) ...NO NO! (If not)

To sit on the potty, I bribed her with chocolate buttons. It worked. Then on day 4 when she had got the hang of wees, chocolate button for a poo and a sticker for a wee. She was so scared to poo. Even now, we have to cuddle whilst she is having a poo on the potty but at least it's on the potty.

I also bought a portable potty which has been so useful for out and about. At home I give her the choice. Do you want to do a wee in the big potty or the little potty? Now she likes to wee in different potties at different times of day 🤷 She has also decorated it with stickers 😅

The big breakthrough was getting rid of nappies completely (except for night time).

Training underwear helped a lot. She still got wet, still had to change clothes etc. BUT there was no puddle to clean up. You can get some fairly cheap ones off Amazon.