How do you manage to eat together? Toddler mealtime issues!

[Ambergold9752]

Struggling with mealtime battles with my nearly 2 year old - things they like one day they’ll refuse the next, look away for a second and the food/plate is on the floor, sometimes have to spoon feed but even that is refused sometimes. Just feels like it’s roulette how each meal will go. Sometimes they demolish their food.

Before I went back to work I did try to eat with DC at around 5pm but the layout of our house etc makes it difficult these days for me to cook when I am alone with DC as they’re just so hectic I can’t look away for a second. My DH works late so it also would mean him always eating leftovers and us never eating together. Because mealtimes are so overstimulating for me now, I am
desperate for our post bedtime adult meal times so that is what we do. I do know that people advise you should all eat together to model better eating.

DC has a ‘tea’ at nursery 4 days a week and then just a simple sandwich, yoghurt, fruit, cereal when we get home as they’re so tired and then bedtime is around 6.30.

I can’t see for the life of me how you’re meant to fit in full time work, nursery pick up, cook dinner with DC causing havoc, eat together and then have DC in bed for 6.30!

I suppose we could make an effort to eat very early together at 5pm on weekends but our days are often quite busy and fitting in cooking a meal from scratch for 5pm that suits all three of us feels overwhelming to me at the moment. I so look forward to DH and my quiet dinner after whirlwind DC is in bed. I do batch cook healthy things for DC that can be heated up quickly within a few minutes when I am on my own - pasta sauces, bolognese, veggie curries etc.

Does it get easier? I do want us to be a family who eat together but the logistics of it on work days, how stressful the mealtime process is at the moment with DC and the stage DC is at with behaviour in the house just makes it so difficult. They’re a happy and excitable little toddler, not difficult in a bad way, just a ball of constant energy!!

I also find I get so upset when DC throws their food and refuses, I feel I waste so much food and they’re at the stage when they’re always shouting for specific things but I don’t quite understand what they’re asking for! I realise this isn’t conducive to a stress free mealtime!

Sorry for the essay! Welcome any experience or advice.

As other PPs have said, I think the only way is to go to bed later. I used to pick up DD from childminder at 6 after work, then straight into bath while DH made dinner. Dinner at 6.30/6.45. Then asleep by around 8. I didn’t need to get her up until 8 in the morning though as the childminder was literally around the corner, so used to leave around 8.45.

Now DD is 5, I would say we eat around 7-7.15. Finish around 7.45-8 and then asleep by 8.30. But we always do bath before dinner so we just need to do wee, brush teeth, pyjamas, and then stories in bed.

At 2 my DS was absolutely in bed around 6:30 after nursery too op. They are so tired! He also had to be up at 6 the next morning to be out the door in time for nursery drop off so if an 8pm bedtime doesn't work for you, you're not alone.

I didn't cook a full meal after nursery ever. He used to call it a picky tea. Just random bits of whatever. Banana, crackers, yoghurt, cucumber, hummus. Something that didn't require cooking.

On days he wasn't in nursery I used to switch between eating with him and DH would eat leftovers or I make a little extra of what he was having to nibble on myself and then ate with DH after DS was in bed. It gets easier as they get older (then worse again for a bit when they drop the nap completely 😂)

Similar timings here.

I use TV to distract DD while cooking dinner. Not ideal I know but no harm to watch a little bit after a busy day at nursery.

We prioritised it on weekends and Fridays even if it was a bit of a faff. We also all ate at 6. Actually we ate together more often then than now when every night one of my kids has dance or football or swimming or all of the above. And like others said - it doesn’t have to be dinner. You can prioritise breakfast or lunch too.

Mine eats a hot lunch and then a tea at nursery five days a week. Snacks when she gets home, bath and into bed around 7pm. We always eat breakfast and lunch together at the weekends, sometimes dinner too. You do what you can and try not to stress!

I was a SAHM, and we didn't start eating an evening meal as a family until the DCs were much older - probably around 7/8. Partly because my DH didn't get in from work until 7pm and didn't want to eat immediately, and partly due to after school activities once they were older. We ate together at the weekend. They still managed to eat correctly when out and about.
They had their own meal at about 5/5.30. At that age bedtime was about 6/6.30. They didn't have a 7/30/8 bedtime until they were about 8!
Do what ever works for you.
If you have problems leaving them to do cooking etc, try a decent playpen for 10 minutes or so, or use stair gates across doorways to keep them in a safe space. Mine would go in the high chair in the kitchen for 10 minutes or so with some drawing or stickers.

We all eat together. It has always been super important to both of us. The only time we did not is when we very first started weaning at 6 months and was not eating proper meals. We have a toddler tower which let's toddler feels like she is involved but let's me or DH cook! They just want to be involved? We still have to occasional plate thrown or food refusal- that is normal whether you eat together or not!