How do you manage to eat together? Toddler mealtime issues!

[Ambergold9752]

Struggling with mealtime battles with my nearly 2 year old - things they like one day they’ll refuse the next, look away for a second and the food/plate is on the floor, sometimes have to spoon feed but even that is refused sometimes. Just feels like it’s roulette how each meal will go. Sometimes they demolish their food.

Before I went back to work I did try to eat with DC at around 5pm but the layout of our house etc makes it difficult these days for me to cook when I am alone with DC as they’re just so hectic I can’t look away for a second. My DH works late so it also would mean him always eating leftovers and us never eating together. Because mealtimes are so overstimulating for me now, I am
desperate for our post bedtime adult meal times so that is what we do. I do know that people advise you should all eat together to model better eating.

DC has a ‘tea’ at nursery 4 days a week and then just a simple sandwich, yoghurt, fruit, cereal when we get home as they’re so tired and then bedtime is around 6.30.

I can’t see for the life of me how you’re meant to fit in full time work, nursery pick up, cook dinner with DC causing havoc, eat together and then have DC in bed for 6.30!

I suppose we could make an effort to eat very early together at 5pm on weekends but our days are often quite busy and fitting in cooking a meal from scratch for 5pm that suits all three of us feels overwhelming to me at the moment. I so look forward to DH and my quiet dinner after whirlwind DC is in bed. I do batch cook healthy things for DC that can be heated up quickly within a few minutes when I am on my own - pasta sauces, bolognese, veggie curries etc.

Does it get easier? I do want us to be a family who eat together but the logistics of it on work days, how stressful the mealtime process is at the moment with DC and the stage DC is at with behaviour in the house just makes it so difficult. They’re a happy and excitable little toddler, not difficult in a bad way, just a ball of constant energy!!

I also find I get so upset when DC throws their food and refuses, I feel I waste so much food and they’re at the stage when they’re always shouting for specific things but I don’t quite understand what they’re asking for! I realise this isn’t conducive to a stress free mealtime!

Sorry for the essay! Welcome any experience or advice.

You don't. You eat together at weekends and breakfast if that's easier. By the end of the day, most toddlers aren't in the right mindset for a big meal anyway. They'll have had hot food at nursery, plus tea, so a light picky tea when they get home is perfect. I just used to eat an apple or banana with them so we ate together but it wasn't a big effort.

Thanks - I do always make sure I am sitting and eating something like a tiny bit of theirs or a little snack of my own. I need to stop feeling too guilty about it!

I just worry when I see people say ‘we eat together every evening’ with small toddlers and I think, how?!

We batch cook and freeze small individual toddler portions. So we have a freezer full of bolognese, stews, chicken meatballs, etc. Toddler either has leftovers from last night's dinner or I defrost a portion and all I have to do is boil some pasta and broccoli.

Bedtime is 7.30-8pm here. DH and I sometimes eat after toddler is in bed, sometimes we eat together, it depends on the day. I'm not really too strict about all eating together. Weekends especially we enjoy a nice steak and glass of wine after my son goes to sleep.

My son is allergic to dairy and eggs which is a pain but it has also forced to cook everything from scratch for him so we've ended up very organized to make sure he has a really good diet.

Also, top tip for freezing small meals: freeze them in small plastic food bags, lie flat. They defrost in a minute or two that way.

My dc always ate late with us. No toddler tea times or early to bed, except when babies just weaning. After 1, it was normal adult meals at normal adult mealtimes.

Collected from nursery at 5pm, home and having a snack at 5:30, I’d start dinner sometime between 5:30 and 6. We’d eat maybe 6:30-7pm. Bath time after that and into bed for 7:30-8pm.

Sometimes one of us wasn’t home til 7:30-8pm. I often would eat on the train or I’d shovel in dinner and then crack on with bedtime. Children adjust to it easily. If you think of Spain, toddlers are regularly up and about still at 10pm due to the later mealtimes.

This

To be honest, unlike their parents neither of mine have ever wanted food after nursery. I know in theory they should as nursery tea isn't much and besides it’s at 330, but still, they would never eat anything in the evening.

I think you’re doing fine. Nothing is fixed at this age - things can change very quickly.

This doesn't work though if your child is knackered and needs more sleep. It's easy to fit in if you have a lower sleep needs child as there's no rush.

We do this and we’re lucky we work from home, otherwise it would be impossible.
One of us does nursery pick up at 5ish, the other cooks, we eat about 6 and start bedtime about 7:30.

If one of you is out of the house it’s impossible and a snack my tea is totally fine I would say.

We eat together at weekends. Occasionally during the week, but rarely. We go out for dinner a lot and they know how to behave, we can have 3hr late lunches out all together. I don’t want to eat at 6pm, sometimes one of us isn’t back yet. We eat after they’ve gone to bed during the week, but we’ve always had late dinners. On holiday we often eat all together late, but there is no nursery/school the next day and it’s much more relaxed.

Bed time at 6.30pm is very early. If you ever want to get to eating as a family then you will have to relax that. I can understand the desire to get child to bed and then have time with partner but if they are not leaving nursery until 5 pm, after a 4pm tea then they probably are not yet ready for the next meal however small. You need a bit bigger gap between tea at nursery and the meal at home. It all sounds too rushed once you get home.

I feel like this too. Dinner for us with 2 year old is between 6 and 7pm. I do something quick if its a bath night so out of bath by 7. In bed by 8. I find after nursery often doesn't want to ear much with us, maybe just a bit of fruit, sometimes eats all ours too! As someone said we focus on meal together at weekends sometimes that's lunch out sometimes evening meal. So many variables as well.. tiredness, teething, coming down with another cold!.

When ours was in nursery, he would eat by himself when he got home (something like pasta or scrambled eggs) and we would eat after he went to bed. Now he's yr 1 we tend to all eat together about 6.30 with bedtime around 8.. it will keep changing

Mine are both in primary school but it's always been a mix for us - we all sit together for breakfast, and lunches & dinners at weekends but weekday evenings are all over the place for us. Usually the DC eat at around 6pm (activities dependent), and I eat with DH later. I always sit with them and chat while they eat. DH often isn't home till after 7pm so it's just fallen into this pattern, plus it means we get to eat the meals the kids won't touch!

Never ate together when mine were that age. I sat at the table with them of course but ate later on with DH who never got home before 8pm. Its not a big deal.

I don't cook a complicated meal on nursery days. I just get a homemade frozen meal out of the freezer or heat up pasta or do a traybake so it is quick. Eat at around 6pm and in bed by 7.30pm - that's the aim anyway!

Mine threw everything on the floor at the age. I am usually a patient person but I wanted to cry. Thankfully they got bored and the phase passed after 3 (very long) months!

You don’t, we didn’t eat until 6.30pm, bed at 7.30. Mine never went to sleep before 8pm ever.

Do they have a big cooked lunch at nursery? I wouldn’t bother if they do. A crumpet / croissant nd fruit and yoghurt is fine if they’ve had meals at nursery. You have 18 years of feeding them - weekends and holidays are enough.

A. They don’t have to be in bed by 6:30
b: you don’t have to sit down to a full meal together. Just sitting down ar the table together is fine

We eat dinner together at 5.15pm. I work pt wfh, and do most of the meal prep once dcs are in bed, and often batch cook. I pick up DC at 4.30pm. DH is home in time for dinner as we chose our house to be close to his office (10 mins commute) rather than suburban living. DC goes to bed around 8/8.30pm. At 6.30pm they are still playing and relaxing with us.

I had this when my DS was about that age. It’s gotten much easier now he is over 3 as he has kitchen steps and can help me a bit more and get involved. So I’d just wait it out until then and do whichever is least stressful. A chilled mealtime will be just as beneficial and you can do a breakfast/ dinner on weekends as others posted. I often just freeze little portions of a meal we cook, rather than batch cook as by the time we’ve done housework/ food shop and whatever else on the weekend I don’t have time. Mine wouldn’t nap in the day and crashed in the evening so we couldn’t give him dinner later than 6, with us both working full time its too much of a rush to cook and all sit down together.

You don’t eat together and push bed to 7.30 - I don’t know anyone who cut their kid down for 6.40! Eat together at weekends - you can have lunch together snd maybe a light dinner or shack when your kid eats. Your child can eat with you later when a bit older.

I used to get home 5-5.30 and make a quick meal then eat together about 6, DC in bed by 7-7.30
Back then DH’s hours varied a lot so sometimes he’d be home sometimes not and I would eat with DC and he’d eat later.
We sometimes ate later as a couple on the weekends.

We don’t, it’s too much of a rush when we both work outside the house. Our daughter eats at nursery and may have a snack when she gets home. We eat together on weekends, go to restaurants etc. Don’t beat yourself up. She’s eating with other children at nursery, not all by herself. It’s all a juggle!