Nervous about DS homecoming

[Onedge123]

My 7 year old DS has been away for a week with his dad. He is awaiting an autism assessment this weekend. I know it sounds so pathetic but I am so nervous about him coming home. He has terrible separation anxiety from his dad and usually asks for him all the time when he's with me.. When he's home I'm always tense and on edge .. he gets very angry and argues with me a lot and has lot of meltdowns.. We've been without him this week with his 1 yo little brother.. it's been so quiet.. I'm even nervous about what to say to him when I see him... every time I've called him while he's been away he hasn't wanted to talk to me or said 'I'm bored' after a few minutes of talking to me..

I'm not really sure what I'm asking for on this post.. I feel terribly guilty for feeling this way about his homecoming.. I love him so much but just feel like I don't know how to handle him at all the the moment and just feel incredibly anxious about us all being home together as there is so much arguing from him and it's so easy for him to be set off..

Does anyone know a way to make this transition coming home easier for an autistic child?

Figure out a routine and keep it. He may not want to hug you when he walks in the door. That will be ok. Don’t ask too many questions. Just say “we are happy to have you home with us”.

First, a drink of water. It’s really hard for small children to know when they are thirsty. So, just get a drink into him.
Then, a bath. Water play is so good. Comfy clothes.
Food. Always the same, always easy to eat.
Quiet time. Hard with a one year old but baby can learn routines, too. On the sofa as a family with blankets, teddy bear, story or Bluey or something.
Some fresh air with activity.

Get the routine sorted out and in time, things will become easier.

Thankyou @TheSandgroperthis is really helpful.. I'll plan all safe foods for him when he gets home that's a great idea and I'll finish writing up our routine with pictures for him.. there's a lot of tension with him and his little brother.. he grunts unhappiness a lot- makes all these sounds like he's unhappy .. there's also an added layer of stress as my partner thinks I don't discipline him.. (he's more authoritarian than me) but I feel like it's hard to know how to discipline until we know the results of an assessment... where can I learn on how discipline works with an autistic child? So hard to know what to do.. if i tell him off he gets so angry and we lose him to anger for an hour..

Can’t help you but start lurking here for better info https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs_chat

Thank you so much @TheSandgroper xxx