Getting my 2YO to independently play

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Pretty much that really. He was 2 in October and he just won’t play unless I’m sat with him. I do often play with him but sometimes I just sit on the floor with a cuppa whilst he plays and he’s quite happy to do that.

I just can’t get him to a place where he will play whilst I cook dinner/ sit on the sofa/ do chores etc.

I have friends with children similar ages and they’re always off entertaining themselves (tbf they’re girls so not sure if it’s a girls v boys thing) and I want that.

I rotate toys, set him up with activities etc and all things he’s happy to do if I’m sat next to him.

Otherwise, if I sit on the sofa so is he. I’m conscious on the amount of screen time over the holidays as it results in a lot of tv. I keep switching it off for a couple of hours at a time so he has to play but again he just follows me round unless I sit with him.

Sorry - just hoping for some advice!

He’s two. It it’s not a boy/girl thing, it’s a two year old thing.

Which can last for years! My 26 year old still finds it difficult to entertain herself if alone.

He’s still very little for independent play. That comes more at around 3. My guess is, when you see friends’ children doing it, it’s when you’re there, a play date, meet up for tea with friend, it’s different than being home alone cooking dinner.

The best thing you can do is to get him involved in what you’re doing. He can shove clothes in the washing machine. He can put the veg you chop in the roasting tray. He can help unpack the fruit from the shopping. Make the jobs play so you can get them done.

Too young. Most children can't at that age.

2 is too young. Independent play happened for us at 4, and even then it’s only for 15 mins, 30 max?

Mine is 2.5 and actually plays pretty well independently but is a second child. I tend to put the tonie box in in her bedroom and that encourages her to play in there. Or sometimes whilst I am cooking I will put a large bowl of water and some smaller receptacles next to it with spoons and cups and she will spend ages pouring the water. When she is done pouring she will get other toys and they “go swimming”.
I often find if I play with her for ten minutes she will then play for another ten minutes alone when I sneak out of the room.

You just have to be consistent.

"I'm going to cook the dinner now, you need to play with your toys".

Repeat, repeat, repeat. He can whine or whinge or cry or mope about being bored, but he will not be under your feet when you're cooking and you will not be leaving the cooking area to play with him. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Limit screen time as much as possible. Or ideally cut it out altogether, he's very little to be sat in front of a screen at all really.

Try and have these periods of free play at the same point everyday so he gets used to the routine e.g. I always play with my toys when Mummy cooks dinner, then we eat and then she plays with me, for example.

Just let him be involved in your life, so hand him a cloth to do wiping etc. Some kids are happy to potter on their own others prefer company. Mine were happier to play alone if I played with them for a bit first then sneaked off; eg. “Be right back I’m just going to wash these plates” but he’s probably still a bit young.
I would turn the TV off though, maybe I read it wrong but turning it off for a couple of hours sounds like it’s on for a lot of the other hours.

Although people say it is very young, by experience with my own children and children I have childminded is that all under 3s can play independently.
At that age I would expect them to just potter around really! Sometimes with activities set up but mostly just free play.
If I need to prepare food or clean up I have a stairgate on the room which I shut.

It’s not too young, but you have to be consistent and not give in to whining and crying. However, this has to be balanced by a big dose of realistic expectations, patience, and filling his little bucket. He can’t be expected to play alone at his age without getting his needs met first time with you too.

Play with him for 20 minutes and be really involved in the game. Be completely present with him. Then say “mummy needs to go do x y or z now, I’ll be back in a few minutes” and leave him to it. Over time you can stretch the independent play longer and longer.

I’ve always insisted on teaching the ability to play independently as I think it’s an absolutely crucial skill and the healthiest thing for a child to be able to occupy themselves alone. It takes time and insistence from you.

All kids are different, so some can play independently and others don't at that age (or they will for a bit and then absolutely won't). I also think they don't always know at 2 years old how to play with things unless shown e.g. how to play imaginatively.

The things that worked for me:

Play for a bit with them and once they are involved, leave them to it.
Set challenges - e.g. find all the matching pairs of cards.
Give them jobs to do - stacking things, mixing stuff.
Tell them a story or sing whilst you do your own tasks, especially if the story involves them.
Acting out scenarios with toys that they can then repeat e.g. teddy serving a meal to another teddy. If it's got 3 or 4 stages, it can work quite well.
Mine plays close to me whilst I do jobs so that I can chip in when needed and suggest something new when they get bored.
I do sometimes throw all the large cushions on the floor and get them to jump about a bit too to burn off energy. They might then also nap for longer so double win!

Hope you find something that works but it might just be a case of giving it time until they are a bit older.

He's too young

Oh love sorry you’ve another while to go, think it happens around 3.5/4. Our son is almost 3.5 and we’re getting there.

Just keep building it up, but honestly at this age, even if it’s just five minutes that’s a lot!